Working on it...
Working Towards it...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: The Bay State
Posts: 32
Working on it...
Hi friends, and I call you friends because I've been reading your posts for some time now and feel like I know you, I'm new.
I have a drinking problem that started many years ago that I mostly ignored. In the past year, it has started to affect my career, it had already done its damage to various personal relationships. Yet, I've continued, until recently, sort of. Last week I finally realized that health problems related to my drinking were out of control (I made the connection long ago but didn't do anything about it). This year I've missed more time from my job due to "sickness" than I think I have in combined time for as long as I've been working.
Out of concern for being an all too regular drinker and so far refusing to seek help, I opted to cut down for a while and then work towards sobriety. I stumbled mid-week and have yet to recover from it, but I'm hopeful for tomorrow. It seems strange for me to be, in a way, seeking help but I need some words of encouragement. I come from a family with some alcoholics, some not. A few years ago I had a long talk with one of the alcoholics about where I am in that tree. At the time, he felt I wasn't full blown alcoholic but well on my way. At this point, I'm that much closer and perhaps already there. I do think I could still remain a social drinker but I also have a serious problem. Of course, there's plenty of backstory as to what led me to this point, but I shall spare you all for now. Thanks for reading, and any advice is much appreciated.
I have a drinking problem that started many years ago that I mostly ignored. In the past year, it has started to affect my career, it had already done its damage to various personal relationships. Yet, I've continued, until recently, sort of. Last week I finally realized that health problems related to my drinking were out of control (I made the connection long ago but didn't do anything about it). This year I've missed more time from my job due to "sickness" than I think I have in combined time for as long as I've been working.
Out of concern for being an all too regular drinker and so far refusing to seek help, I opted to cut down for a while and then work towards sobriety. I stumbled mid-week and have yet to recover from it, but I'm hopeful for tomorrow. It seems strange for me to be, in a way, seeking help but I need some words of encouragement. I come from a family with some alcoholics, some not. A few years ago I had a long talk with one of the alcoholics about where I am in that tree. At the time, he felt I wasn't full blown alcoholic but well on my way. At this point, I'm that much closer and perhaps already there. I do think I could still remain a social drinker but I also have a serious problem. Of course, there's plenty of backstory as to what led me to this point, but I shall spare you all for now. Thanks for reading, and any advice is much appreciated.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Plymouth, MN
Posts: 960
Hi Malcolm, Welcome! I'm glad you have decided to step away from alcohol since it has been causing health problems. It's interesting that you say you think you could be a social drinker. If so, then just become a social drinker. I think it is a bigger problem than you are admitting to yourself. When you continue to drink after it has adverselly affected your relationship and health -- there is a problem. A social drinker wouldn't drink to that extent. I wish you well. If you want to wait until you hit rock bottom and become a "full blown alcoholic", it will happen. Just give it time.
Working Towards it...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: The Bay State
Posts: 32
I merely think that I could be a social drinker, but I'd rather give it up than have to hit rock bottom. I've thought I was there, then felt better, so I know it can get worse, and that's why I'm here.
Edit: Damn, didn't mean to sound like a know-it-all. Your point about letting it get this far is well taken.
Edit: Damn, didn't mean to sound like a know-it-all. Your point about letting it get this far is well taken.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to SR!Congratulations for seeking answers to your drinking.
Alcoholism is a disease and it is progressive.
I suggest you get more factual info
My favorite book on alcoholism is
"Under The Influence"
and it has a sequel..."Beyond The Influence"
Both can be ordered from Amazon...
Glad to see a new member...we do understand and you are not alone.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: UK
Posts: 375
Originally Posted by Malcolm
I do think I could still remain a social drinker
Hi Malcolm - and welcome. There is no reason at all why you would want to be a social drinker in my opinion - You can be more sociable sober than you can if you've had a drink. I go out with my work colleagues now and then and they mostly don't even notice that I'm not drinking.
Social drinking is just an excuse for drinking.
Anyway - rant over, welcome to SR and I hope you find here what you're looking for.
Deg.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: I forget
Posts: 2
Malcom, I can relate. Came and AM from a family of alcoholics. I have come to realize that life is not what you WANT, it is what you KNOW. We have to be really strong to break a cycle that we are comfortable in. OK> Im talking to myself. I am new here too. Dont you wish someone could just TELL you what to do?? like when we were kids?? haha. But no, its our turn to be the adults. I feel I should be able to live my life...I started my own business 9 years ago, gross triple figures, have two girls, sole custody, married a man with 3 kids and all I do is take care of everyone! Funny, I started life out with a man that made me a co-dependant, went to Al-anon, now I feel that I have become HIM. I drink, smoke, gamble (this year), and everything to an extreme. Im sick of taking care of everyone in my life, paying the bills etc....but you know? it is exausting being super woman.
Working Towards it...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: The Bay State
Posts: 32
It's been a struggle, but I'll keep working for it. I hate failing, so I'll keep at it until I succeed.
Mary, you can do it, just keep trying and seek help, that's the best we can do.
Mary, you can do it, just keep trying and seek help, that's the best we can do.
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
I can relate Malcolm. I had to learn the hard way. But it was through that suffering when I realized how badly I wanted, I needed sobriety. I was willing to do anything to feel normal again and to live life not enslaved to the bottle. I was willing to do things I didn't like and didn't really understand. I was never asked to compromise myself, but my beliefs were challenged at times. I'm glad they were because today I am sober and free from the burden of alcohol. I knew nothing about sobriety, nothing at all. Sobriety was a foreign concept to me. Today I am grateful to say, that intoxication is a foreign concept to me. Wow! What a switch up that is. Never give up. Keep trying...
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Plymouth, MN
Posts: 960
Hey Malcolm,
Hope all is well. Remember that you when want things to change, you have to do things differently than what you have been doing. If you slip, get up and start over. Learn from the mistake.
Keep strong!!
Hope all is well. Remember that you when want things to change, you have to do things differently than what you have been doing. If you slip, get up and start over. Learn from the mistake.
Keep strong!!
Paused
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
Tomorrow is another day. Think about what you could have done to avoid drinking. How could you have avoided your triggers or where could you have gone for support? Think about if you really want to quit or not? There is a solution if you really want it...
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: north of Boston
Posts: 130
Don't say sorry Malcom. It isn't easy. I blew it tonight too. I had some wine. I just wish there was ONE person around me who doesn't want to pour me a glass of wine. I'm surrounded by family, friends, neighbors and relatives who seem to want me to drink even though I've said I want to stop. I cried so hard tonight because I just wish I had somebody to talk to. Somebody that I know. Believe me, I get the fact that I am the one in charge. Do I have to go away by myself or something? I feel like I'm not only fighting my own urges, but everybody else's as well. I've never been to a meeting and I don't know where they are. I've walked or driven by places that look like they might be meetings - lots of people outside of a church drinking coffee - but everybody looks so unapproachable to me. My own husband doesn't seem to want me to stop drinking. He doesn't get it. He just wants me to keep being his drinking buddy. He says, "Oh, it's ok. Have a drink." Then he gets mad if I act drunk. What is that? I wouldn't do that to him or anybody that says they want to stop. Please don't even respond to this post. I'm just having a big pity party and I have to figure it out on my own.
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