debsjsu

Does anyone remember the little incident that I had with the lady trooper when I took my alcoholic brother to get his drivers lic. reinstated? well he did get his lic. the next day that was 5/11/06. I left for Jamaica 5/15/06 and returned on 6/1/06. My brothers lic. came in the mail to my house about 3 days after I got home. He did finally come by and pick them up. ( hold on I will come back to this)

His son, my nephew Nick is a awesome artist, and I had to do a mural for my Bible school class I am teaching in a few weeks so I thought I would pay him to do it for me, as he is a 16 yr. old high school drop out with no job and is always looking for ways to make a little money... I couldn't find him... heard he had been in a wreck... him and his buddy have an arrangement ( been this way for months) he takes his buddy to work at walmart drops him off, then comes back to pick him up after work. Well Sunday he didn't make it back he wrecked the car. Nick dosnt have drivers lic. So to get the ins. to pay the buddy ( to appease his father) reported the car stolen. Night before last Nick was arrested for theft of auto.. However the Investigator that came and got him is a personal friend of my hubby ( he works part time for us) so he called us to come down there. We had already agreed that we were NOT bringing Nick home with us. ( the past experiences of having him in our home have been difficult, he dosn't understand why he cannot be in charge of the house and why HE cant make his own rules). Anyway to make this a shorter story after listening to our friend explain how Nick was getting the shaft and how he needed someone to step in and help him, (his Dad was drunk) My hubby decided to bring him home with us...We had to be at the juvinile court yesterday to talk to the probation officer. They told him he would go to court in about a month, until then he has to stay with us... If he dosn't like living in the "world according to Bruce" ( my hubbys name is Bruce) then he is welcome to go live in the "world according to detention" those are his choices. The deal is this is the 5th time I have recieved custody of this child and his sister and they have had no clothes but what they have on. I have had to go and buy them clothes out of my own pocket. I am fed up with this. His Dad makes $25.00 per hr. he pays no rent he lives with a skank right now who feeds him drugs and alcohol to get him to sleep with her. He can afford to buy this kid some clothes. We only ask him to pay $50.oo per week for his daughter that we have custody of and he hasn't paid that since I got back from Jamaica. I called him yesterday and told him that he would see me Friday and he would be bringing me the child support money he ows me for his daughter and he would also give me money to buy his son some clothes. If he didn't want to do that then I would go through the court system and sue him for the max child support I could get and have it garnished from his check. ( the min in the state for 1 child is $4oo.oo per month. I told him this wasn't about his feelings and I wasn't concerned about his feelings. If he got mad ok and if he didn't ok. I just needed help taking care of his children. He was very angry as I knew he would be.. I also called the kids mother who is in a rehab facility where she has been for the past 2 yrs. and told her what was going on. She dosnt even have a job but she said she would bring me some money and some clothes for Nick this weekend when She comes for her daughters birthday party. Then she ask me if my brother was able to get out of jail in time to save his job... I said what are you talking about??? While I was in Jamaica my brother had called her brother to bail him out of jail... My brother who had not even got his new reinstated drivers lic in the mail yet had already gotten another DUI...... Dontcha just lovit...... He had not had drivers lic. in 10 yrs... and he didn't keep them a month....... But he dosn't have a problem with alcohol ........ And now I have both his kids Again........ One more time around the merry go round........ I told him (NICK) that I love him with all my heart, but I am not going to fight with him, If he can live here peacefully, and abide by our rules then he is more than welcome to stay and be a part of our family... But if he chooses that he would rather not then I will not hesitate to let him move to detention...... God give me strength..... Seems like Drama follows me around these days..... Love to all Deb

CarolD

I have no answers but I send hugs and prayers.

daisy_j

Oh wow, try to go take yourself a vacation and all hell breaks loose!! The only suggestions I can think of are to consult an attorney who can help you sort through the various legal issues that have developed. Also, maybe getting your nephew to a family counselor along with you and your husband to try to nip any problems in the bud before they start again…or manage them if they do start again.

Sounds like you really have a full plate, I really hope things turn out well for you and your family! I will pray for you guys.

HUGS,
GJ

ASH

The good news in this story is that your nephews and nieces have a safe place to go in the constant storm,
and you and your husband sound like loving relatives and good role models

debsjsu

The best news is that I have stayed sober through ALL of it and the thought of drinking hasnt even been an issue at all Thanks to my recovery program, a Great sponsor and an Awesome Higher Power. I am so very blessed today even with all this I have a life I have never dreamed I could have, sounds kinda crazy to say in the middle of all the DRAMA, but it is true..... Love to all and thanks Debs

debsjsu

Hey DK thank you is not enough from you I expect an evaluation of my delima from you... I need to hear your expert opinion b/c I know you will either give me some very good advice that I need to hear or you will make me laugh my tail off. either way I need to hear it ... So lets hear it big guy... Im not letting you off that easy....

brigid

Debs, I am so glad to hear that there are such beautifully decent people in this world willing to help those that need it. Good on you for confronting the Dad and Mum for help paying for their children, this is probably the nicest thing that you can do for them, as well as providing a place for their kids!!

Life can be so full of drama sometimes, hope you live through it. Sending heaps of good thoughts and love!

Brigid

doorknob

LOL, Ok, I'll try...

I think your brother needs to be kept accountable for the cost of raising his children, especially since he has the money. Why should the skank get it all?

If your nephew is gonna live in your household, I would suggest that he needs to either go back to school and finish, take GED classes, or get a job and pay room and board.

DK

P.S. Thank you for the very nice PM.

debsjsu

I did find out yesterday that my Brother was not only drinking when he got his DUI but he was also taking oxycontin and had hit several "things" I don't know if this means vehicles or what? before they got him stopped. His van is wrecked... He couldn't even stand on his own when they got him out of the van.... Anyway he did get out of jail in time to save his job... That is a good thing b/c I am determined to get money from him to help support his children one way or another.... I was remembering back to the day I got custody of his daughter the last time. I was setting in a Dr. office when he called me on my cell phone, the social worker had just called him and told him what had happened. ( they had picked her up from school and placed her in my care). He told me on the phone " I don't give a crap what yall do with her throw her in a garbage can for all I care" She heard him say this. It almost crushed her.. He was sober when he said this... He did the same thing when I told him that the juvinile court had place Nick with me the other day... The things he said were awfull... I guess that is what made it so easy for me to not worry about his feelings... He certinaly isn't worried about his kids feelings.... They have been through so very much in their short lives... They deserve so much better... Anyway we will see what he chooses to do Friday.. Love to all Debs

debsjsu

Thank you DK no thanks needed for the PM I meant every word of it and it is true b/c we know how smart I am and I don't lie... LOL..... We have told Nick that his First priority is getting his GED b/c he refuses to go back to school, he would have to go back into the 8th grade. At 16 yrs old that would be a little odd. His next priority is paying off the fines ( not related to this incident) that he has for driving without a lic. in another city... and taking care of this legal issue, which our lawyer says will get knocked down to unauthorized use of a vehicle, and he will have to pay for damages... Then after all this is taken care of ..... Our preachers wife has offered him a full time job as a free lance artist ( she saw the mural he did for my Bible school class) He did an amazing job.... My only worry is that right now all I hear out of him is " can I go see my friends, I want to go do this , I want to go do that, You don't understand, My buddies this, My buddies that, I have plans" It's like his head is spinning and he dosn't realize where he is or what world he is in.... I have tried to talk to him and explain his situation to him and what his options are right now but Im not sure he gets it... Then I try to remember he is only 16.... I know without a doubt he is probably one of the most intelligent people I have ever met in my life... That is part of what scares me... He is without a doubt smarter than me by a long shot.... What is strange is you would think that he does drugs or drinks or something but he dosn't not at all..... Anyway I know I have my hands full, and I don't mind saying I am a little scared here... I just have to trust in the God of my understanding to give me guidance and direction here..... any advice from my cheering section would be appreciated.... Love to all Debs AKA Energizer Bunny

debsjsu

OK Im going to get a complex here I know that I talk way too much and have many many opinions whic may or may not be right valid or even important.... lol ,,,,, But do I have a cheering section left???????? Just kidding guys Im just very board right now and it seems that everybody else actually has a life. lol Ok I should take my own advice and take advantage of the peace and quite in my home right now ( gosh I really didn't even realize it was quite I haven't been use to that lately) Hope you are all having a great sober day Love to all Debs

here somewhere

Hi Debs,
You've said some nice things to me on other posts, and you really do sound like a great person(I'm an excellent judge of character!). Best of luck to ya'!
S