Gary2140

I've been gone for a while, drinking myself to death after work.

Now I'm trying to get sober again.

My wife is a recovering alcoholic so she's been keeping me sober these past couple of days with a little tough love - montoring me, checking me for booze when I come home, cooking healthy meals and overall support.

I've got a lot of catching up to do here.

daisy_j

Hi Gary. Probably everyone here has stumbled a time or two. Don't give up and don't stop seeking recovery. Sounds like you have a gem of a wife who can really help you through this. Don't take that for granted, some of us are still living with partners who continue to use and are pretty oblivious. Be gentle with yourself and try to find things to keep yourself occupied so those after work hours don't creep on by...that was my favorite time to drink too and I know what a comfortable crutch that can be. But just think, it will be nice to wake up without a hangover and to rediscover the pleasures in the simple things in life. It really is a blessing.

Good luck!!
GJ

Gary2140

Thanks Daisy, I remember when I could enjoy reading a book. I can't even concentrate on anything because I'm always worried about my next beer.

I mentioned this once before but I have a specific addition to alcohol - malt liquor - those nasty 24 once and 40oz bottles you see bums drinking. I know that sounds crazy because I'm a "white collar" person.

I was introduced to malt liquor when I was in the Army. It's called the "crack of alcohol beverages." I don't mess around with Bud Light. It's ruined my life.

It's changed my entire brain chemistry - I'm not even the same person anymore.

I'm going back for my Master's Degree so that will also hello help focus me also.

CarolD

Welcome back Gary!

findingout

Very cool that you are back Gary. The sober days will add up (one at a time of course) and it does get easier and it is so worth it.

debsjsu

I want someone to cook for me......... Look for the things you have to be grateful for in your life today......... Glad you are back...... Im not gay (not that there is anything wrong with that) but I sure would like to have a wife.... they cook , laundry, clean, work, take care of the kids, rub my back-feet, ect...... I need one of those........ just kidding, but it really does help me to look every day for gratitude........ just a thought ... Love to ya Debs

daisy_j

"I remember when I could enjoy reading a book. I can't even concentrate on anything because I'm always worried about my next beer."

That WILL get better. There was a time when I was panicked because books, TV shows and people did not seem interesting anymore and I didn't think they ever would again. But that goes away after a week or so and then it's kind of wonderful to sit down and watch a movie or read a book and actually get something out of it. And to do something pleasurable that is not going to affect you adversely. I really think that only an addict can truly understand the relief and joy that comes with being interested in the simplest things again.

GJ

Sugasnaps

Welcome back Gary! Never give up and keep trying.

Suga

Don W

Gary, Welcome back. You're not alone. I'm just back myself after trying to drink again. A friend of mine once told me, drinking again is like suicde on an installment plan. Try not to beat yourself up too much. What i've tried to do, and suggest is try and turn the negitive into a positive. One thing that I found and you will also is experence helps get through it. When we first get sober we don't understand the changes from withdrawal. Right now the things we go through will be familier. The need to change our reaction to them is of the utmost importance. Example, off and on I want to drink just to escape these feelings. However, experence tells me that if I just wait them out they'll either go away or at least lessen. Again, don't give up, I have even family members this time washing their hands of my attempts to stay sober " AGAIN". This isn't about them. This is about us and surviving. No other way that I can explain it but, there has got to be some kind of "Survival Mode" that keeps us trying. Let go and go with it, I am. Again, you're not alone, and now that you're back we are not alone.

Gary2140

Thanks Don - that's good advice.

I always feel really good the first few days of being sober - then the Cravings begin!! Fortunately my wife prevents me from driniking - literally.

I think of all the great things that I could have accompished - I used to be a great runner in the Army, I could have published a book, etc...

I wasted 10 years drinking. But, I'm back on track.

Thanks,
Gary

Don W

Sounds to me you still have the desire to reach those goals. Alcohol was stopping you, and it's gone now. Many times I've stopped myself by " But, I'll never do it" only to find out I could have. Maybe not all of them and maybe not at the level so, what's stopping you? I've discovered setting achievable goals makes an easier path. You don't have to write a book, start with maybe a short story. I can't run anymore either but, I can walk, so go ahead surprise yourself. Don W

Gary2140

Still Sober - about 5 days now.

We took a trip to San Diego but I avoided booze, of course my wife was with me so it was impossible anyway.

I'm going to start running on a near by track and I'm beginning the first drafts of my "novel," that I've been putting off for 12 years - just ideas that have been in my foggy alcoholic mind.

Cathy31

Great, Gary!

A sober life is SUCH a productive life! Actually, it's a LIFE! :CHEER

Drinking, being drunk, hungover and remorseful is NOT living!

I'm happy for you re your 5 days. In time you will choose not to drink whether your wife is there or not!

Cathy31
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Candy Scratch

Hi Gary!
I'm on Day 3 and I know how hard this is. You can do it this time, for sure. Deep, deep breaths. Hugs to you & your wife.

Candy Scratch