Bad Days.....!
Trying to do the right thing.
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: London
Posts: 4,345
Bad Days.....!
Well floks i guess im haing a bad day today...?lots going on in my life,so that dont help.
but i had a bad night. woke up feeling rough, had what was left of
my brandy,wich was only a little and now my mind wont stop.!
its just like as if i had a pipe of crack or something.it wont go away....?
ive got another rotten headache,n caught a cold after going to the
dentists!!!!.....so ive been under the weather for a week now...
so im genrely run down......! ive been sleeping alot this past week as i
dont feel well. its only flu, but oooooohhhhhhhh a drink will help.!!!!!!!!!!
its doing my head in as they say...!
i just dont want to buy anymore booze. but sooner or later i will lose the
battle. Agian....! Stressed.....!
To Life!
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Rhode Island
Posts: 9,293
i just dont want to buy anymore booze. but sooner or later i will lose the battle. Agian....! Stressed.....!
See, you're SAYING you will loose the battle.
So you will.
And until you change that belief you hold, you will continue to loose the battle.
I quit smoking over 6 months ago. There's LOTS of times I want "just one." But, my past experience says if I have one, I'll be smoking three packs again in no time. So, I CANNOT have just one.
And I use different behaviors to change my thinking. I literally do something differrent when I crave a ciggie.
That's how *I* do it.
What can you do differently?
If you really don't want to drink again....
Shalom!
Not the center of the Universe
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Orchard Lake, Michigan
Posts: 974
i just dont want to buy anymore booze. but sooner or later i will lose the battle.
A fact: you absolutely cannot drink yesterday if you haven't already done so.
Another fact: you absolutely cannot drink tomorrow before it gets here.
I've also heard that if you don't drink today AND you do something positive for your recovery today, tomorrow might be a little easier to deal with when it gets here. Seems to work for a whole heap of people.
Michael
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: London England
Posts: 291
Arura,
Bad days are what you get when you allow alcohol to rule your life. Good days are what you get when you take charge. Taking charge of your life means that you take responsibility for everything in it, you don't blame others and you don't blame the booze, you don't even blame the fact that you have had a cold or the flu. Like just about every other recovering alcoholic in the world I have had colds and other illnesses and I have accepted that they are simply part of life and got on with it.
Now if you want to get sober, and by the way you don't say in your post that you do want that, stop making excuses, take responsibility, take the decision and just do it.
Michael
Bad days are what you get when you allow alcohol to rule your life. Good days are what you get when you take charge. Taking charge of your life means that you take responsibility for everything in it, you don't blame others and you don't blame the booze, you don't even blame the fact that you have had a cold or the flu. Like just about every other recovering alcoholic in the world I have had colds and other illnesses and I have accepted that they are simply part of life and got on with it.
Now if you want to get sober, and by the way you don't say in your post that you do want that, stop making excuses, take responsibility, take the decision and just do it.
Michael
Trying to do the right thing.
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: London
Posts: 4,345
Well i didnt give in to the drink yesterday..! Im at Drs again this morning.
abit scared of telling him whats happening now.....!
I dont want that type of life.Despite how it may sound.!
things are tough, as im sure some of you remember..?
i was only looking for a place to expess,surrport,recive,learn from
others.....so might just read and not interact as, im try hard and
realy dont need critisium at this time.
but hey all got an opinion on the suject.....
thanks..............A.
abit scared of telling him whats happening now.....!
I dont want that type of life.Despite how it may sound.!
things are tough, as im sure some of you remember..?
i was only looking for a place to expess,surrport,recive,learn from
others.....so might just read and not interact as, im try hard and
realy dont need critisium at this time.
but hey all got an opinion on the suject.....
thanks..............A.
Michael
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: London England
Posts: 291
Arura,
It was not my intention to criticise you. I just wanted to tell you that the stress, the fear, the hatred of the situation you are in, can only be dealt with by taking control. You have the power within you to place yourself above the effects of alcohol. If you make the decision to quit you can change your life around, you can go from pathetic dependance to life-affirming control. You weren't put on this earth to be subject to alcohol.
Good luck at the doctor's this morning.
Michael
It was not my intention to criticise you. I just wanted to tell you that the stress, the fear, the hatred of the situation you are in, can only be dealt with by taking control. You have the power within you to place yourself above the effects of alcohol. If you make the decision to quit you can change your life around, you can go from pathetic dependance to life-affirming control. You weren't put on this earth to be subject to alcohol.
Good luck at the doctor's this morning.
Michael
Not the center of the Universe
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Orchard Lake, Michigan
Posts: 974
Well i didnt give in to the drink yesterday..!
Early in the N.A. basic text, there's a passage that reads "when we give it our best, it works for us as it has worked for others. And from that point forward, we began to see that every clean day is a successful day no matter what else happens." There are days when staying clean/sober is the best accomplishment/thing I can point when the sun goes down. But because I am an alcoholic, that remains a pretty major accomplishment.
There are days where I will think "well, at least I didn't drink" and catch myself thinking that thought in a semi-sarcastic, what's the point, sort of voice. But I always try to remember that whatever real or imagined pain, stress, and ugliness the day may have brought, absolutely none of it would have been easier to deal with had I picked up.
No one day is so bad that I can't make it worse by drinking.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Originally Posted by michaelj
Arura,
It was not my intention to criticise you. I just wanted to tell you that the stress, the fear, the hatred of the situation you are in, can only be dealt with by taking control. You have the power within you to place yourself above the effects of alcohol. If you make the decision to quit you can change your life around, you can go from pathetic dependance to life-affirming control. You weren't put on this earth to be subject to alcohol.
Good luck at the doctor's this morning.
Michael
It was not my intention to criticise you. I just wanted to tell you that the stress, the fear, the hatred of the situation you are in, can only be dealt with by taking control. You have the power within you to place yourself above the effects of alcohol. If you make the decision to quit you can change your life around, you can go from pathetic dependance to life-affirming control. You weren't put on this earth to be subject to alcohol.
Good luck at the doctor's this morning.
Michael
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: London
Posts: 35
Very well said Music. In my experience it is useless to tell an active alcoholic to "get a grip" or to try and "control" the addiction.
Speaking personally, I struggled to try to gain control for over 20 years. With each relapse I slipped further and deeper into my addiction. Some of us lose our health, jobs, family or freedom - but it does not HAVE to be like that.
I did need to hit my rock bottom - it was pretty awful. Then I had to admit defeat by alcohol. It was only when I admitted my powerlessness to control my drinking that recovery truly began. It is then that you have to be willing to do ANYTHING to get sober. It is hard work.
For me working the AA program on a daily basis has worked. Talk to other alcoholics in AA and proof of the power of the program for recovery will be found.
Speaking personally, I struggled to try to gain control for over 20 years. With each relapse I slipped further and deeper into my addiction. Some of us lose our health, jobs, family or freedom - but it does not HAVE to be like that.
I did need to hit my rock bottom - it was pretty awful. Then I had to admit defeat by alcohol. It was only when I admitted my powerlessness to control my drinking that recovery truly began. It is then that you have to be willing to do ANYTHING to get sober. It is hard work.
For me working the AA program on a daily basis has worked. Talk to other alcoholics in AA and proof of the power of the program for recovery will be found.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 58
Hi Arura...
The thing that worked for me was Rational Recovery. It teaches us to take control of our addiction and that the responsibility to not drink is wholly ours. Plug the name into a search engine and take the "crash course" while sober. It seems weird, but it works. The guy teaches that the urge to drink and drug comes from the primitive part of our brain and teaches how to over ride the addictive voice that wants us to keep drinking. It's the only thing that worked for me.
The thing that worked for me was Rational Recovery. It teaches us to take control of our addiction and that the responsibility to not drink is wholly ours. Plug the name into a search engine and take the "crash course" while sober. It seems weird, but it works. The guy teaches that the urge to drink and drug comes from the primitive part of our brain and teaches how to over ride the addictive voice that wants us to keep drinking. It's the only thing that worked for me.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in a better place
Posts: 1,406
I'm glad I found your thread Arura, since I'm having a bugger of a day today too. It's too bad that you found a little brandy, but it's great that you didn't give in to having more. Resisting the urge is hard to do and you did it.
I agree with the others who have suggested that you find some ACTION to try to do when you get the killer urge to drink. I could have wallowed in misery as I watched the clock tick by, but instead I read, posted, called an AA woman, called a helpline, and went for a walk. Try making a list and then choosing from the list when you need to find an action. (I think I'll try that suggestion too, since I need a bigger tool box)
Please please please stick around and don't get discouraged by negative posts. Ignore them when your sad and then read them when you're feeling better. You'll see the worth in them.
I agree with the others who have suggested that you find some ACTION to try to do when you get the killer urge to drink. I could have wallowed in misery as I watched the clock tick by, but instead I read, posted, called an AA woman, called a helpline, and went for a walk. Try making a list and then choosing from the list when you need to find an action. (I think I'll try that suggestion too, since I need a bigger tool box)
Please please please stick around and don't get discouraged by negative posts. Ignore them when your sad and then read them when you're feeling better. You'll see the worth in them.
Trying to do the right thing.
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Location: London
Posts: 4,345
Thanks c'est la vie, todays another day, but the fight goes on..
if i dont drink today, i might not drink tomorrow..?
im full of clod so it would be another good excuse to push me to
the shop. But just dont want it anymore...
the headaches, feeling crap in the morning.
For me when i got free of the meth mornings were wonderful but now its
a different sruggle.New to me...?
hope your doin O.K c'est la vie, my keyworker tells me little steps.
?
if i dont drink today, i might not drink tomorrow..?
im full of clod so it would be another good excuse to push me to
the shop. But just dont want it anymore...
the headaches, feeling crap in the morning.
For me when i got free of the meth mornings were wonderful but now its
a different sruggle.New to me...?
hope your doin O.K c'est la vie, my keyworker tells me little steps.
?
Michael
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: London England
Posts: 291
Music,
The power can only come from one place and that place is inside your head. I don't have a religious bone in my body and I can not conceive of a higher power. If I have a problem with addiction to a substance that is wrecking my life, my health and my relationships then I have to take a rational decision to exclude that substance from my system. Now if you or anyone else wants to believe that that initial decision can only be taken with spiritual assistance then that is fine by me. If you believe that continuing sobriety can only be achieved by spiritual dependance that is fine too. If what works for you works, then work it.
What works for me is a ruthless rationality, I am stronger than an addictive compulsion, I will beat down any desire to drink, I will reorder my life to ensure my continuing sobriety. My life is in my hands and mine alone, I call the shots in my sobriety because I believe that for me that is the only way to succeed. If I am not positive and assertive I will fail and for me failure is simply not an option.
I am sure that what I have said will strike many as being selfish, arrogant and self-righteous. You are exactly right. I simply don't know of any other way to beat alcoholism.
Michael
The power can only come from one place and that place is inside your head. I don't have a religious bone in my body and I can not conceive of a higher power. If I have a problem with addiction to a substance that is wrecking my life, my health and my relationships then I have to take a rational decision to exclude that substance from my system. Now if you or anyone else wants to believe that that initial decision can only be taken with spiritual assistance then that is fine by me. If you believe that continuing sobriety can only be achieved by spiritual dependance that is fine too. If what works for you works, then work it.
What works for me is a ruthless rationality, I am stronger than an addictive compulsion, I will beat down any desire to drink, I will reorder my life to ensure my continuing sobriety. My life is in my hands and mine alone, I call the shots in my sobriety because I believe that for me that is the only way to succeed. If I am not positive and assertive I will fail and for me failure is simply not an option.
I am sure that what I have said will strike many as being selfish, arrogant and self-righteous. You are exactly right. I simply don't know of any other way to beat alcoholism.
Michael
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Originally Posted by michaelj
Music,
The power can only come from one place and that place is inside your head. I don't have a religious bone in my body and I can not conceive of a higher power. If I have a problem with addiction to a substance that is wrecking my life, my health and my relationships then I have to take a rational decision to exclude that substance from my system. Now if you or anyone else wants to believe that that initial decision can only be taken with spiritual assistance then that is fine by me. If you believe that continuing sobriety can only be achieved by spiritual dependance that is fine too. If what works for you works, then work it.
What works for me is a ruthless rationality, I am stronger than an addictive compulsion, I will beat down any desire to drink, I will reorder my life to ensure my continuing sobriety. My life is in my hands and mine alone, I call the shots in my sobriety because I believe that for me that is the only way to succeed. If I am not positive and assertive I will fail and for me failure is simply not an option.
I am sure that what I have said will strike many as being selfish, arrogant and self-righteous. You are exactly right. I simply don't know of any other way to beat alcoholism.
Michael
The power can only come from one place and that place is inside your head. I don't have a religious bone in my body and I can not conceive of a higher power. If I have a problem with addiction to a substance that is wrecking my life, my health and my relationships then I have to take a rational decision to exclude that substance from my system. Now if you or anyone else wants to believe that that initial decision can only be taken with spiritual assistance then that is fine by me. If you believe that continuing sobriety can only be achieved by spiritual dependance that is fine too. If what works for you works, then work it.
What works for me is a ruthless rationality, I am stronger than an addictive compulsion, I will beat down any desire to drink, I will reorder my life to ensure my continuing sobriety. My life is in my hands and mine alone, I call the shots in my sobriety because I believe that for me that is the only way to succeed. If I am not positive and assertive I will fail and for me failure is simply not an option.
I am sure that what I have said will strike many as being selfish, arrogant and self-righteous. You are exactly right. I simply don't know of any other way to beat alcoholism.
Michael
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in a better place
Posts: 1,406
Michael, what do you do to "beat down any desire to drink" when the urge or insanity completely fills your whole body at certain times? What do you do to reorder your life so as to avoid these times? I'm finding that I like having the "crutch" of AA simply because there are people to talk to that aren't in my head!
L'il fighter
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Mississauga, Ontario
Posts: 297
I don't know man....I know *I'm* certainly not stronger than my addiction to booze, or else I would have stopped years ago!
Arura - I'm in the same boat right now. I don't trust myself and I'm worried that any day I'm going to give in to that addictive voice. So when I talked to my doctor yesterday, I told her how I was feeling and asked to be prescribed Antabuse. It's only effective as long as I actually take it, but I consider it as extra insurance for my sobriety.
Arura - I'm in the same boat right now. I don't trust myself and I'm worried that any day I'm going to give in to that addictive voice. So when I talked to my doctor yesterday, I told her how I was feeling and asked to be prescribed Antabuse. It's only effective as long as I actually take it, but I consider it as extra insurance for my sobriety.
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