janeeyre

I'm glad your Dr. is being more thorough. Just know we're thinking of you today, hoping you'll feel better soon.

debsjsu

Thanks Janeeyre... Im really getting board having to stay home and not being able to talk on the phone. I sound like a rat with asthma.. E-mail and the computer are the only means of communication I have with others over the age of 11. Ethan (my son) and I watch a movie together every morning. Thats about all of me he can stand, lol, then he goes out to the pool to swim. I cant swim either, Don't feel like it anyway, I do sit on the porch sometimes and watch him. My sponsor calls sometimes and I listen while he talks, not having a voice is harder than I realized... I am feeling better, still can't eat very well. and the symptoms are all still there. ( I wont gross you out with all the details) I still look for gratitude every day and it is still very easy to find things that I am grateful for all around me.. Hope that never changes... Sobriety is still very strong Thank my God and AA for that.. The program has tools that I can use even when I am stuck at home that help me stay sober and keep my spirituality strong. However I do long for human contact.. I miss my AA meetings and my friends. I do have to remember that I have to keep them safe and tell them when they call that they can not come over b/c I can not be around others right now. I could be contageous. However some of my friends didn't listen and they came anyway. They stayed in the back yard and I stayed on the porch. They couldn't hear me whispering to them but I could see them and they talked to me from the back yard. It was kinda funny. A little frustrating though b/c I really wanted to talk to them and couldn't. Anyway I am trudging through one day at a time. It helps to have post to read. It keeps my spirits up. I guess I don't need to write a book here so I will end this for now. I will let you guys know what I find out, if I find out anything. Thanks for all your post, they keep me going.. Love to all Debs

here somewhere

Debs,
I don't post nearly as often as I read here on this forum (sorry, it's just that I type painfully slow!), but I just want you to know that I read your story and feel terrible for you. That's why I'm posting now, just to let you know that there are people that you don't even know, who care. I hope you get well soon.
S

debsjsu

Thanks here somewhere, please don't feel terrible, Just wish me well. There is one thing that I know. Everything that I experience in life has a lesson in it for me. There is something for me to learn from this to help me be a better person, to have better understanding, empathy etc you get my drift. any way I appreciate your concern. I will post more later my hubby has just come in and needs the computer so I gotta go. Love to all Debs

CarolD

Prayers zinging to you for healing.

2dayzmuse

(((Debs))

debsjsu

Hey Guys, I still don't know anything but I am getting better, symptoms are improving, my voice is slowly comming back, however I can't use it yet per Dr.'s orders. I do have more voice than I had last week. I now sound like some kind of demon out of a scary movie when I speak. lol probably better that I don't use it. lol I would just scare people!!! The other symptoms are getting better also. I am able to eat some finally without immediately getting sick. That is a blessing. I have lost some weight, every girl I know wants to loose weight. I wouldnt reccomend this as a diet plan, but I am trying positives right! lol. Anyway I think I am on the mend. Thanks so much for all the prayers and well wishes. I still can't leave the house until the Dr. tells me that I am not contageous and a danger to others. So for now I am trying to just do what I am told ( I have never really been good at that) I am kind of a rebellious spirit. Maybe that is my lesson here who knows? I am truly blessed I do know that, even through all this I have still been able to see all the things in my life that are blessings, gifts to be grateful for. I am sober today and that is the most wonderful gift of all. Now I may go stir crazy before they let me out of this house, but I will be sober!! lol. I would have a much harder time making it through if this board wasnt here for me to have contact with other recovering alcoholics for me to whine to. Thanks to all who have taken the time to listen to me whine. I have really needed you, you have helped me keep my sanity. Thanks to all. Love to all Debs

Kellye C

Deb, I'm glad to hear that you are on the mend. I've been reading this thread and was really worried about you! SR is a godsend in so many ways isn't it?

You take care of yourself, follow doctor's orders and focus on getting stronger!

Hugs,
Kellye

debsjsu

Thanks Kellye, I really am trying to see what I can learn from all this. I go back and read all the post, kinda like a diary ive been writing. Ive noticed that I do not want to be like that Dr. who treated me with so much disrespect. I want to be aware of how I treat others. I mentioned in my post that I want to miss my day to have the "God Syndrome". I will pray for that Dr. b/c I truly believe that we don't treat others badly when we are at peace within ourselves. One of the other things that I realized is that faith is a very important part of my recovery life. I truly believe that all things that happen in my life have meaning for me. I do have faith, but my humaness is still weak at times and it is very necessary for me to be willing to reach out for help from others. I do not like to be dependant on others. I want to be in control. There are times that I have to let go of that control and have faith that I will be taken care of. I do not have to be in control. That is a hard one for me, boy is it a hard one for me. I like to take care of everyone else, I do not like to allow anyone to take care of me. I want to do it myself. This illness has forced me to let go and allow others to take care of me and to have the faith that they will. Maybe they didn't do it quite like I would have but they did it. There are many other lessons for me here, I wont write a book, but I just needed to share how my adversities can and do make me stronger if I allow them to. I believe I will come out of this a better person if I am willing to be teachable.... Love to all Debbie.. Make no mistake I am not trying to say that this has been fun, b/c it has not..... I learn through pain.. I grow through pain.... I didn't get sober without pain either....

CarolD

Your recovery ligjt is glowing Debs!

debsjsu

I am still feeling better ... Thats a good sign... Im getting stronger, I can feel it... I think if I wasn't so very stubborn and as my granny use to say "bull headed" It might not take so much for me to learn such simple life lessons.. Some of us can listen to others tell us not to touch that stove becouse it will burn us. Not me, I was always the one who waited till you wernt looking and touched it just to see if you were right! Once I do learn something Ive got it for life though.. My Dad always told me I learned everything the hard way. I never knew what he was talking about until I got into recovery, now I understand.. It dosn't have to be thay way, but it usually is... Im working on changing this, there is always hope my sponsor says with a laugh... I am grateful for my life lessons, they have made me the person I am today and thats a good thing today. I love all of you and I hope that maybe you have learned something through my delima as well. If you havent thats ok, I have and I thank you for helping me to learn to become a better me. Love to all Debs

brigid

So lovely to read that you are feeling better Debs, that is great stuff!!

Prayers continuing for your recovery,

lots of love,
Brigid

debsjsu

HAPPY FATHERS DAY to all you wonderful Dads out there.... Hope you have a GREAT day... Love to all Debs

BSPGirl

Good to hear ya feel a bit better, did the dr's ever find out what it was you were suffering from?

debsjsu

I was suspose to get my results today, It has been 5 days since they took the last specimens for cultures. Usually only takes 3 days to get results. The Dr.'s office said the lab said they were growing something that couldn't be identified yet so it was going to be a while, they couldn't tell me how long... I fell much better.. I am eating without any problem now. I just still can't talk. It has been so very strange not being able to talk for so very long. I am almost getting use to it.. I am suspose to teach Bible School at my church in 2 weeks and if I don't get my voice back I am not going to be able to do that..I have had several friends offer to help with that. Im not worried about that just dissapointed that I might not be able to do it. I really enjoy working with the teenagers. They are so much fun, they keep my laughing all day... Most of the people at my church are also in recovery so I have had a lot of support from both sides.. Im just wishing I could get out of the house and go somewhere..... Anyway I'll let you guys know what I find out, when I find out... Thanks for asking..... Love to all Debs

CarolD

Glad to see you are eating...
You are moving forward...