daisy_j

I have to admit that it is frusterating that going one week without alcohol would be such a big accomplishment for me. Lots and lots of people can go weeks, months and years without drinking. Even people on this board, who are alcoholics, can probably go weeks or months between binges. So why should this be such a big deal? Sorry I guess I just feel like whining because I am SO TIRED of carrying this sickness around with me.

GJ

Phinneas

Daisy - a week is an awesome accomplishment. ANY day not drinking, is a major accomplishment for an alcoholic.

Wanna hear a secret? When I was (finally) able to get into the SOLUTION instead of being stuck in the PROBLEM, things did get easier. I learned slowly over time to focus on what I could do NOW to be and stay sober and those days started to really add up. I personally work a 12 step recovery program, so staying in the solution meant reading literature, going to meetings, doing step work, meeting with my sponsor, reaching out to others in recovery and spending time in prayer and meditation. It was a big adjustment at first, but it got easier the longer I did it.

Congrats on your sober time!

daisy_j

Thank you Phinny. I guess we just have to take it one day at a time. Prayer and meditation is a good idea too.

GJ

daddysgirl29

Keep going, Daisy!! The hard part (physically) is over. Try and focus on the positive - not the negative. How nice is it to wake up now w/o a hangover, no guilt, no sick feeling, nothing to explain away or apologize for. It's all beats the way it was, doesn't it?

Do you have people around you that you can talk to and use as a support system? Just keep busy, but do things that make you happy!! (Meaning, not just work!) But also make sure to include things that help you work on you. You'll be amazed what you find out!

Keep going, girl!!
-DG

CarolD

I know I need the structure of my recovery program
to stay in emotional balance and serenity.

Don't short change yourself...

daisy_j

Thank you Carol, Daddysgirl, I take your words to heart. It's hard to undo years of wilfull self destruction but I know that the end result will be well worth it!!

Music

Yeah, I know what you mean. I heard once though that bitching about not having a new pair of shoes is nothing until I see someone with no feet. There are a lot worse things to befall me than having alcoholism. All I have to do is get out of myself long enough to look around for someone who's worse off than I am. I've gone to AA meetings and had a wet drunk show up. I saw myself sitting there wabbly, slurring my speach, and stinking of booze. I got grateful real fast.

michaelj

Daisy,
First of all well done on your week's sobriety. That is a fantastic achievment and you should be proud of yourself. When I first stopped drinking it seemed that the amount of time between me and my last drink was all that mattered. I couldn't get myself away from thinking about how many days, weeks and months I had gone without a drink. I realise now that that approach is unhelpful. I now concentrate on living a life to the full in which there simply is no place for alcohol. I have to sit down and think about how long since I drank because that time based thinking no longer drives me.
I am not saying that you should or could follow my approach, the closeness of your sobriety day would almost guarantree that it would be impossible. What I am saying though is that within a few weeks or months you will be able to move away from the calender and concentrate on your new life.
Just as an example, in my first few months I kind of longed for a year of sobriety. I thought that would be a seminal moment, there would be fireworks and fanfares and hulabaloo. When I got there I felt not much at all. This was because I had been able to move on and focus on the more important lasting recovery that we all need.
I wish you every success in defeating booze and eventually outgrowing the calender.
Michael

daisy_j

Music-Very true. I need to remember to be greatful because there are a lot of people who are worse off than I am. I had a guy in my AA group who was in a wheelchair, looked like he weighed about 90 pounds and he shook horribly. And still had a smile on his face. Is a wet drunk someone who is always "drunk" whether they drink or not? I'm not sure what that means.

GJ

daisy_j

Michaelj, I will take any advice/guidance I can get at this point. Hope to get to a point where I can stop counting the days. I start school back up in a week so hopefully that will help the nights go by a little more easily...

thank you!

Music

Hi Daisy,
In this case, it was a guy who showed up drunk. I went over and shook his hand, sat down and talked to him for a while. This happened before the meeting started, so it didn't matter to me what the meeting was about. I already received my gift for that day. I know it's hard at first to find anything to be grateful for. I know I had a hard time, but that's where my sponsor came in handy. He reminded me that I was sober today.

BSPGirl

Well done on the week sober!

Cathy31

A week is great, it just gets better and better!

earlybird

Any true alcoholic that tells you that first week is easy is a bold faced liar. The ones on this board you speak of that can go a week without it being a problem are the ones that have been sober a long time. Any sober time in early recovery DOES deserve the praise and cheers. Dont worry so much on how OTHERS view your sobriety. What matters is how YOU view it.

leviathon

Daisy, you have to start with small steps. Everyone who has an addiction, alcohol or otherwise, recalls the struggle to the first week. Heck I was amazed at one day... two was outstanding, etc.

Be gentle on yourself, it took a long time for you to become a full blown addict, it will take time to undo what you learned along the way!
Levi

Anna

My gosh Daisy, there was a time when I couldn't even go for a day without alcohol and then going 3 days was an accomplishment. You are doing great!

And, you're not alone in feeling the burden of this disease. There have been times when I wished more than anything, to be able to take this off my shoulders and put it down. But, more often, there are times, when I am so thankful to be where I am today and to be the person I am.

Be patient with yourself.

Five

Why should it be such a big deal? Are you serious?

Giving up alcohol was the best decision of my life: even today, the benefits keep unfolding, the more I recover from living many years as a lunatic! I am, almost frightningly, at peace with myself.

Daisy - most of us here you use tools of some sort, they may well help you stick to your decision to keep off the booze, they may help any troubled feelings you may have, they help - basically.

What advice would I give you in your early days? Well:

Eat well with plenty of nutritious and non sugary foods
Sleep well.
Do some writing or practice some tools
Stick around other sober people
Attend an AA meeting, smart meeting, or an SoS meeting
Take some small exercise
Avoid coffee

Hey, thats just what I did and it helped a load

And just try and enjoy the ride!

It gets better. Life works if you work it!

daisy_j

51anna:

It's exhausting isn't it? I've been carrying this appendage around with me for about ten years now. Though I started much earlier than that, drinking didn't become a regular habit until my 20's. And let's see...when I got to the point where I stressed everyday whether or not I'd have enough booze to get through the night and a 12 pack suddenly doesn't seem like enough, and then I would wake up the next day and try to remember what happened the night before, and then I had to worry about what I might have said and what drunken confessions (true or false) may have escaped my lips..who I drunk dialed, who I actually got ahold of, or even worse when I would wake up in my own vomit or pee, embarrassing but true, and all of this before I would even get out the door to get to work which is really a joke because who can really work in that kind of condition? It's a wonder I have managed to stay employed. All of that doesn't even begin to address the massive hangovers and lingering health effects that come with an alcoholic lifestyle.

When I list it all out like that, I am again reminded as to why I am doing this.

So I will be patient. If that means I want to go home and get into bed with a book and block out the world, that's ok too isn't it? Just to get past the rough times. Without alcohol, normal situations make me feel a little overwhelmed. At least for right now.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts, take care!!
GJ

CarolD

A "wet drunk" is a still active drinker.

It is usually used in context of 12 Step service work.

It's more of a description than a put down.

I just thought of something...you may be confusing
"wet drunk" with "wet brain"

Here is info on "wet brain"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wernick...akoff_syndrome

It's great to not be either!!!

debsjsu

Daisy congrats on your sobriety. Take it easy on yourself and don't beat yourself up for feelings and emotions you may have b/c there will be many in early sobriety, expect them and don't be afraid, just allow yourself to feel and talk to another recovering alcoholic about what you are feeling chances are they have felt the same and will be able to help you through it. What you are going through is normal. For my first 5 years in attempting recovery I was rarely able to put together more than a few days at a time. Then other times I would make it 6 months without a relapse. Once I made it 11 months. Then I relapsed and couldnt go more than a day or two without a drink. So don't be so hard on yourself you are doing GREAT! I have 10 yrs now, but I don't see it as 10 yrs. I see it as one day. every day it is one day. I recently recieved a very good dose of gratitude and humility in Jamaica. Read my post about my trip. If you would like to hear more pm me and I will tell you the more graphic stories. They will shock you. I am so very proud of what you have accomplished so far. Don't give up, right now you are running from the drink. There will come a time you will no longer be running from the drink but you will be running toward peace and serenity b/c it feels so good if you continue to stay sober. I promise you this is true. Love to you Debs