Mary'sgirl

OK, Didnt know exactly where to post this so thought I would try here. Mother is MAJOR alcoholic. I dont guess there are specific degrees, are there? Anyway, I had a problem in high school while trying to deal with the problems at home. Even went to school drunk a couple of times. Have drank socially and rarely since graduating. This past weekend, hubby and I had a couple drinks since the kiddies were gone and we were all alone. Ever since, I literally taste it when I'm no where near it. Right now, I'm at work and my mouth is watering thinking of the taste. I go home and stare at the bottle in the fridge. I know something is up because I dont want to open it because I dont want my husband to know I have been drinking. Not that it has been a problem the past 10 years but I dont want him to know I did it while I was alone. What if with all the stress lately of things that have been going on, Im relapsing or something? What if I'm just following in her footsteps and destined to be in denial my whole life? What if there is really nothing wrong?
I dont know what to think. All I know is I can taste the sweet coconut rum as I sit here and type.

CarolD

I am so glad you are here reaching out for help. Hugs

Please read our post and make yourself at home.


Here is my suggestion...find info on the disease of alcoholism.

My favorite resource on alcoholism is
"Under The Influence"
and it has a sequel..."Beyond The Influence"

Both can be ordered from Amazon.

AndrewBeen

Hey, glad you are here.

Sounds like you have some warning bells going off. Listen to them before the booze dulls your senses. Those bells will keep you from crashing on the rocks.

This disorder is strongly heriditary. You are at risk. Take it from me: I am both an alcoholic and an ACOA. Quit while you are ahead.

brigid

I followed in my mother's footsteps ... I thought often of her as I sat at night and got inebriated, just like she did, I excused it as the way that she copped with life and I had a huge amount of stuff to deal with, it was the way to do it.

I STOPPED following in my mother's footsteps when I admitted to being an alcoholic and then I continued to go MY way and not drink. I am forever grateful that I found the strength to do that, my life has continued to improve ever since and I am free of the worry of alcohol now.

Whatever your mother was, you have a choice to be who you want to be. There is lots of help if you find you need it, plenty of people who know what you are feeling and dealing with here.

love Brigid

dowe66

Hi Mary'sgirl. I hear you asking "Am I an alcoholic?" I think first you have to discover what an alcoholic is. It can take on many forms but you can surely find the answer to your question in the "Big Book" (Alcoholics Anonymous). I opened the book and didn't even make it to page one before I knew I was an alcoholic. That is because there is a section in there that is called the "doctors opinion". He discribes that an alcoholic has what we refer to as the "Phenomenon of Craving". When I read that I was shocked. That was the day I made a decision, that I was an alcoholic. Between what you wrote and a secondary question you may be asking (Do you think Im a alcoholic?) I would have to say you and I have something in common. The craving. Potential alcoholic? My opinion is yes, but the discision is yours I cant say whether you are or aren't. I can tell you get a big book you can find them everywhere, even borders. Read it and then read it again. Then decide. if you decide yes then you have to take action as described by the big book. Ok that is it for me but I want you to know that I will be praying for you that you may seek the answer to your question.

dowe66

I was looking for it and there are so many books with that title. Do you have more info? Thanks I dont think I would mind reading it too. I love to read about myself.

Little Missy

Under the Influence is by Dr. James R. Milam and Katherine Ketcham

Beyond the Influence is by Katherine Ketcham and William F. Asbury

earlybird

I would say,....given the turmoil alcohol has caused you indirectly though your mother, and the feelings, although slight right now,...that you are having towards alcohol, why not just 'not' drink? Make it NOT a problem by cutting it out of YOUR life completely. Cant harm you if you dont use it. Now,...by the same token, if you find that you CANT not drink,...then that should be your answer.

dowe66

Thanks for the reply