Sobriety1st

Accept the things you cannot change and change the things you can.
This could be a blessing in disquise..Let us know how it goes, and best wishes to you, hang in there..you are certainly an inspiration to me..

brigid

I have felt all these things during my changing habits. Of all the things that I have found best to help me, these are the major ones:

When my mind just keeps going around and around - do something physical.
When I am feeling sorry for myself - find a less fortunate person and help them.
When I am being negative - try very hard to find the positive.
When I am angry - scream loudly and let it out - this has really helped me.
Always talking about this stuff with people who I know will not just accept what I am saying but will challenge me if my thinking is screwed up.
Remembering the good things about myself and trying to improve on those rather than concentrating on the negatives about myself.

I have felt depressed at points in time, I have felt that these times were necessary in some way to get to the next level. I stuffed my emotions down a lot and behaved in inappropriate ways before, it has taken me some time to work out how to change these things. For me, I let these things get worked through as I could cope, change doesn't happen over night and I really wanted the changes to stick for the long term.

Writing all these things down in your journal sounds like a fantastic way to get feelings and thoughts out and sort through them. It will also give you a record of how you felt in the past and how you develop over time.

I also keep in mind that there were certain ways that I stopped maturing in when I started drinking and that it would take me some time to "catch up" to the maturity that I think I should have. One of these major areas has been socially. When I was uncomfortable I firmly thought about how I would wake up the next morning and it would all be a memory and I would still be alive and that made it ok for me. Now I feel really comfortable socially and in various people's company, much more confident and relaxed than I ever did when I was drinking.

Stay well c'est,
lots of love,
Brigid

2dayzmuse

Once you start working the steps, you will begin to find resolve.

c'est la vie

I was wondering if working through the AA steps would replace the need for a therapist. I guess it depends on how good the sponsor is at making you look within. It's my nature to avoid looking so I certainly wouldn't see on my own.

2dayzmuse

I don't think anyone can answer that but you. Working the steps is certainly a beginning to getting to the root of your problems and finding resolve. I can see things so clearly now. Before the steps, I was in so much denial and couldn't see what was so clear to others. My sponsor helped me to see this. I fought it and argued, but finally went yeah...I see it now, I guess you are right. One thing about me was, I was never wrong. Silly, I know. I understand it now. It really is a great relief to reach that point of acceptance.

c'est la vie

very crappy day. i didn't drink. thought i would make it through without crying but no such luck. well, it's after midnight so i can officially say i didn't cry yesterday

doorknob

Big hugs, C'est.

Arura

((((c'est))))) im so sorry sweetie that its rough for you at the moment.
Were all pulling for.You can do it.The crying stops eventually too.

thinking of ya honi

Big ((((HUGS))))) .................((((c'est))))

c'est la vie

There's been a lot of "discussion" up in my head lately. I think I'm trying to reason how I'm going to be able to drink in the future, but I'm not sure. I could also be trying to reason why I shouldn't keep going to AA or that I need to stop talking about recovery, sobriety, alcoholism etc.

I can't really identify exactly what's going on up there, but it hasn't been feeling good for several days. I think my addict voice is feeling confused and can't put together a concise logical argument.

I'm feeling more envy towards people who drink and I'm trying to go back and remember why I even decided to quit and how I felt in the process of "moderation" earlier this year.

NYCGirl

You know what I told mine, and It seems to be keeping him at bay. Yeah I'll probably will drink in the future. Here's the deal, I drank for thirty years, I am going to not drink for 30 years after all fair is fair. And then we'll talk. So see ya in 2036. Hasta luega!

I'll PM ya later gotta go pick up my 11 year old.

2dayzmuse

Have faith...it will work. Don't give up before it happens.

paulmh

2dayzmuse said

That is very, very beautiful and genuinely inspiring. Thanks.

C'est, keep it simple. Like this ^

lol!

c'est la vie

SR is truly amazing. I feel like I can type out my thoughts as they occur (skipping a few, lol), get feedback to head me in the right direction, sit with those thoughts and come out OK.

I'm not giving up. I'm going to keep it as simple as possible. I'm going to accept the fact that I cry sometimes but the sadness passes much quicker. I have so many positive and uplifting thoughts and "catch phrases" that keep me bouyed when things get crazy at home and it really is making a difference.

I feel like with a clearer head I can start to look at my past, present, and visualize the outline of a future. I feel like I can make decisions affecting my life with more confidence. It's comforting and I needed to write that so I wouldn't forget.

brigid

I accept sadness now too c'est, it really helps to know that it is a normal part of life and I need to fully experience it all.

Keep all the catch phrases, I found heaps and heaps of them early in sobriety and have held onto a few favourites the whole time ... like ... "Change your thoughts and you change your world". Heaps of others too.

I did the whole, "I might drink when my kids don't need me any more" thing early on, now I just think "I can't tell the future but I don't think I will ever drink again" and I also think "I don't want to gamble with how I feel now, it is just not worth it for alcohol".

love and peace,
Brigid