c'est la vie

I was standing here cursing myself for eating too many chips and drinking too much Diet Coke and saying "Why do I keep doing that to myself when it makes me feel so bad about myself."

HELLO!! I think I'm suffering from chipism and cokism - I just can't get enough. So what am I supposed to do with myself when I'm trying to not drink alcohol and I just substitute some other thing that I eat or drink until I hate myself. I NEEDED something today and I didn't give in to drinking which is what I REALLY wanted to do.

I apparently suck at moderation or I'd be able to moderate the bleepin' chips too and I can't. It's full out war here.

leviathon

Wine lover, you were likely craving sugar (diet coke) as a result of not drinking... quite common for alcoholics after they stop drinking. Chips tend to be a "comfort" food, although quite bad for you.

What to do, try drinking lots of water instead and going for a walk. I know these two always help me.

Levi

doorknob

I can't get off the computer.

c'est la vie

Me neither. See, I just have too many obsessions/compulsions. I'm outa here now. I'll keep hoping for sanity.

NoMoBeer

Eating too many chips and Diet Coke won't get you a DUI, land you in jail, or (hopefully not) break up a marriage. There's a good chance you won't pee your pants in public, barf or make a fool out of yourself.

Ken
(former obsessive triathlete, now just a triathlete -- I had to learn how to moderate -- for me, the principles in AA help me in every area of life)...

chip

Hi Winelover-
I'm like you, I think. I've never done anything in moderation, and I am completly driven by obssessions and compulsions. I'm lucky I'm treating my AA like a bit of a compulsion because that is what is keeping me clean and sober. I'm not preaching AA or anything, it just seems to be what is working for me.

Sometimes I find myself standing around 'pounding back' tonic water.... I get obsessed with posting on internet sites. I eat a bunch of things which are bad for me. I can relate to what you wrote...totally.

Lately, when I get in a funk, I think about how I feel and why I feel that way. I try and focus on changing anything I have control over to make me feel better, and give the rest to my HP. I'm prone to worry. I try and keep that out of my life because it isn't helpful to my recovery.

Thanks for posting, see you around..
chip

Hope

I can relate to that. I drink way to many sodas but right now as long as I'm drinking the sodas not not alcohol then I am much better off. When I get good solid ground on my recovery from alcohol then I can work on the other stuff like moderating sodas. That is how I see it right now. I don't know if it makes much sense but I keep my major focus on being free of booze. Moderation just never was my thing either, LOL!

brigid

That is the way I got off alcohol. Go for it with whatever else is around that helps me, my major poison was (still is but I haven't had it for a long time) alcohol. I did exactly what is said above ... after recovering from alcohol I worked on the other stuff. I did find that going hell for leather on a healthy pursuit was a good option ... did jogging, gym, good food, study. Also did pot, caffeine, cigs. Now I just get into the good stuff and I have ditched the other, took me time, it was a process but the most important thing for me was to not drink. The rest took care of itself.

earlybird

Well,.....I joined a gym. Ive been going 5 times a week for two years. I thought, at first, I'd go for a week and then lose interest. What I was delighted to find out, was that once I got that feeling of euphoria after a good workout, I felt mentally great about myself. So I stuck to it. Then,....after about three weeks, I started to see a difference in my body. I started to get stronger. The first day at the gym was a nervous one for me. I could only lift 70 lbs on the bench press. I was a little embarrassed. But I noticed nobody cared how much I could lift. Now I am lifting 220 lbs. and I feel great. I decided in the beginning, that I wasnt going to turn to food to fill my void. I took the total opposite route and made my new addiction getting healthy and fit. I dont want to sound like a bragging idiot, but, I love the way I look now. Im 34 years old, and in the best shape of my life. Im in better shape than when I was a junior in high school and I was an athlete then. So,....I guess,...."toot, toot" <---(my own horn).

Sorry about that. I just thought sharing my little story would help you.

c'est la vie

Thanks for the little story. We all need to feel good about ourselves, right. Isn't that the root of our problem in the first place. I wish I could get addicted to excercise. I remember a few years ago I started going to a gym. I felt great after a workout and felt that I had "earned" my margarita and nachos. duh Now I just sit around and look at the computer and eat and drink.

I want to not drink anything until after I get to a point of feeling good about myself mentally and physically. Then I'll reexamine alcohol's place in my life (if there's a place left). OK guys. If I try to do this I'm probably going to be here crying and whining more than ever. Usually I just get past those points without coming here and then tell you I feel bad that I drank. I'm getting nervous already because it's so hard when my hub leaves on business trips (and that's every week!!).

brigid

Doing something different is a good approach WL. I have also heard that making a date as THE date is a good idea. I have just done that with quitting cigs and pot and it is a good thing. The day I made the appointment with the hypnotherapist was my quit day. I also made some pretty full on changes, like separating from my pot dependent and cig smoking husband. Lovely as he can be .... I just couldn't do it anymore.

Go the different route, make the date ... or have you already started?

Sugasnaps

**{hugs winelover}}

Chips and Diet Coke doesn't sound so bad to me.

Suga

doorknob

If you can surpass my crying and whining, I'll gladly send you my crown! I'm still wondering when I'm gonna get my friggin' pink cloud.

fritolay

Why do you feel guilty drinking diet coke? It has absolutely no nutrional value whatsoever, no sugar, and no calories.

c'est la vie

It's not so much having one and accepting the aspartame, caffeine, and other chemicals to color and preserve it. It the need to drink to saturation and to scarf down anything crunchy until I can't eat any more. It doesn't happen all the time, but it does happen, and I don't like the feeling.

Right now I'm feeling so overwhelmed with all the things in life that I haven't done right or that are falling apart around me currently and I want to crawl in a hole and escape. I guess the good thing is that I know if I get drunk and sleep away the day (it's 8am here) then I won't be making much progress towards correcting some of the problems. I really want a quick fix to take away my feelings.

fritolay

Have you tried exercising? The chemicals in diet coke are negligable, and you'd have to consume thousands of gallons of it per day before they'd have any ill ellects. I wouldn't worry about that too much, unless your consumption is greater than I imagined.

But you'll be adding to the problems, and failing yourself.

Etimee

Don't be afraid to just vent them, sometimes we build them up and then when we start writing to vent them, we can figure it out for ourselves and/or get great support from the people around us that care! Like me! Just a small sweet suggestion. :-)

Your friend,
Etimee

c'est la vie

I've been crying on and off all morning, wavering between wanting to push forward and change who I am and wishing I could just throw in the towel. It's been the story of my life. I even said I wish I wasn't married with kids because they don't deserve this crappy wife/mom. They have no good idea what's really going on inside my head. I keep trying to tell my husband little bits so he has a clue, but I'm not sure he gets it. I don't think he can imagine why in the world I'm not more appreciative of the blessing of staying at home to clean toilets, wash dishes, do laundry, sort through stacks of paperwork and making sure there is food for every meal. I know this isn't the whole problem because I remember having these "I'm a loser and I wish I didn't live" moments when I was a kid. My mom had me making lists of all the "good things about myself" and cutting out self esteem boosting articles from magazines. blah. blah. yuck

equus

Please don't hate yourself for eating too many chips! It's not an action done to harm others, it's not callous and unfeeling, it's not cruel or spiteful - it isn't something that would cause you to hate someone else.

Is it possible that you focus only on what you're failing at? I know D does that when he's depressed, he forgets anything he's done really well and stares at whatever flaws he can find. I know I do it too when I'm depressed but I also know it isn't logical or reasonable and that helps me.

If I find myself hating myself for any reason I try to ask whether it's reason enough for hatred - mostly it isn't 'cos I don't stamp on ducklings and kick old ladies in the shins!

I've seen you post so honestly and give yourself openly to hearing what's said. I think you rock!

c'est la vie

I almost smiled there. Thank you Equus. I washed the dishes, got 3 loads of laundry done, and took my dog for a walk so I suppose I must feel better. I'm glad I can say I accomplished something today other than staring at the computer, but I'm not jumping for joy in life yet. I tried to buy chips at the minimart and they were out. I guess someone was looking out for me. I don't feel like drinking so I have to accept that as forward progression. I just wish I felt better about myself. It only makes it more clear why I drank and it sucks. I'm happy I can mark off one more alcohol free day.