Summer

Just wondering what does it take for an alcoholic to finally commit and want to get help? My partner who is 36 years old, has been drinking heavy for a long time and says that he is an alcoholic but still does not commit to getting any help. He once went to see an addictions counselor and we have been to a few open AA meetings but he has not been to any closed meetings. I know he has alot of anxiety and its hard for him to go to an open AA meeting but once he is there the anxiety subsides and after the meeting is done I know he feels good about it and he has said so. He has 2 books on his night stand, one has been sitting there for 2 years and the AA Big Book has been there for about 1 year. I asked him why he just doesn't put those away and he says he still plans on reading them some day. Anyway, he's still drinking. He stays sober from about one week to a month. The longest has been sober is four months. I know he cannot stay sober without help and I know he would get so much out of AA as I have from Alanon. Someone in Alanon who is a double winner said he could call him sometime if he wanted too, I told my partner about it but I doubt that he would ever call. It's too bad, I think just reaching out to another alcoholic would help him so much as well. I can't understand why he is so scared to do this?
Summer

Peter

Hi Summer,I am glad to hear you are still going to Anon meetings.

It sounds to me like your partner is aware of how and where to get help but until he is good and ready to accept and commit himself to recovery there is very little anyone can do.

The decision can only be made by him alone.We can encourage him as best as we can but that's about it.

Only when the pain of my drinking became unbearable was I willing to surrender to the AA programme.

Let the books on his nightstand stay right where they are.Mine collected dust for months on my table before I started reading them.

Peter.

The Jay Walker

Summer

Peter is absolutely right, your partner knows were to go for help when he wants it,
unfortunately some of us have to be in great pain before we are willing to do what it takes to get and stay sober,
the program is there for any alcoholic that wants it, but they really do have to want it.

best wishes

Ninerfan

Summer...Peter and Jay are right. Just stay out of his way. The next time he gets good and drunk don't catch him when he starts to fall. He must feel the consequences of his actions. He may be almost done, on the other hand you could be in for a long wait. Take care of yourself

N