KarenOskie

Hello everyone. I'm back yet again. I can't give up trying, even though it has seemed so far that I may never get sobriety permanently. But the alternative is to just give up and die drunk, so I'm back again. This is my fifth day without a drink. I've been so tired. I need to do something to keep from drinking again, but I don't know what yet. I've tried AA, and started on some other program, I think it was called Rational Recovery, but right now I'm just praying as best I can and thinking about what hell alcohol brings me. I'm thinking I need an addiction counselor. I need some guidance, and I need someone to help me stay on track. I have a pattern of making a good start, then getting distracted and stopping the things I was doing to help me stay sober, then relapsing.
I've been reading here all along, and it's so good to see you all here and be able to read how you're staying sober. I have hope.

doorknob

Keep tryin' Karen. Lot's of us are in the same boat. Glad you're back!

Doorknob

FriendofBill

what happened in AA that it didnt work for you?

here somewhere

Nice to meet you Karen. I'm in the same boat you are. Same starts and stops. Good luck, and I hope you do really well.

ASH

Hi Karen, welcome back and congrats on your 5 days the first week is a killer,
I know, over, and over, and over, I know
There is always hope! Call an addiction counsoler or anyone else
you think will help you achieve your goal of sobriety.
Look them up today and call first thing tomorrow.
Sooner is better than later.
Hope you keep reading and posting!

Justme57

Hi there Karen, welcome back, and congrats on your 5 days !

Hope is very important...while you have hope, you are ahead.

I dont know whether you are still considering AA, butmaybe you could combime 2 things ? Whatever works, I reckon. You could get yourself a Sponsor in AA, and use the fellowship part, ie get phone numbers and ring peole, that way you would have people who know what you are going thru, to talk too. You could still do your other stuff, but would have AA people, and meetings to fill in the rest of the time .

Making an appointment with a Counsellor sounds like a good option too.

Whatever you decide, I wish you well in your recovery journey Keep posting

HUGX
Lee

CarolD

I have so often wondered how you were doing Karen!

Well done on your new resolve!

tantricblaze

Hello Karen,

You can quit!

You got yourself into this mess, you can get out.

You mentioned that you may have started the Rational Recovery program, but it is not a program, it's just a book.

That's how I quit, by reading it and learning Addictive Voice Recognition Technique. It immediately ended my years of struggling with the problem of addiction.

There is hope for you.

--Scott

2dayzmuse

Welcome back Karen. I'm glad you came back. Keep fighting and good luck.

KarenOskie

Thank you all so much for the posts, they really made me smile. It's nice to have someone to talk to about this and nice to know there are others who care and want to see me make it. I feel the same reading all of your posts, too.
I'll either contact a counselor or an AA member tomorrow. 'Friend of Bill' asked what happened in AA that didn't work for me, and I can't really say. I'm not sure why, or even whether it had anything to do with AA, but I just haven't stuck with it so far. I'm not against going back to AA, but I do think I need to look further, maybe as 'Just Me' mentioned I could combine AA with something else.
The times I've relapsed I've given so little thought to my decision to stay sober. I'll just think one afternoon, 'hey, this is a good day for a drink' and maybe have some guilt and think about what a big mistake it is, but I just go right on and do it, senselessly and insanely. Everything I've done up to that point to insure my sobriety just melts away in a surge of compulsion. Then I feel guilty toward those in AA who have tried to help me, and just don't go back. Then it gets to the point I'm going to die and I do go back. The longest I've had sober was around 2 years I think. And I've had a couple of other longish periods. Now, I have to find out quick how not to let it get me again, because once it does I have no idea how long it will be until I'm free of it again, if even temporarily. And I don't think it will be long before it does kill me one way or the other.
Thanks SO much for being here, everyone.

2dayzmuse

Don't let the ism win. Gain back control and overcome the disease for good. The key is, you can't let your guard down. It will sneak in and blind side you when you least expect it. Ouch!!! Stay in the program and on top of recovery.

leviathon

Hi Karen, much to my chagrin, I find myself in exactly the same boat... here's what I discovered... hope this helps... http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-new-post.html

Levi.

ASH

Hi Karen,
Good for you, I hope it goes well, its tought to make the calls but worth it.
For me getting sober is like most things in life, I get back what I put in.
The more effort, thought and dedication behind it the better off I am.
Keep posting and reading here at SR no matter what,
knowing others are fighting with you helps

Michael22

Hi Karen

Just 14 days for me and I feel great. Alcohol is not an option for me anymore. I need to keep telling myself that ! I love the freedom from alcohol. I feel like a whole new person with a purpose. I did hit 3 AA meetings with a friend. The meetings were ok - but it was just fun to go out with a friend for once - instead of running home to my bottle. Like a baby - home with his bottle - LOL!

Hang in there - and I will too! We can help each other!
peace and love
michael

Don S

Hi, Karen! Glad you're posting again. Here is a link to
various recovery alternatives, some other approaches to 12 step, and lots and lots and lots of other links.
Just reading through some of them should keep you busy for a few evenings! Let us know if you have any questions...
Take care,
Don S

daddysgirl29

Hi and welcome back!! Good to see you still trying - that's the most important part in the beginning!! Admitting/thinking about getting help (addiction counselor) is a very good thought. Most people can't do it alone - I know I couldn't! Stopping and getting help was the best decision I ever made - you can do it, too! Where there's hope there's power!

Good luck and keep posting!!
Hugs,
DG

KarenOskie

Hi everyone! Gosh it's nice to see all this hope and support here. My son is home for a week, and he's been keeping me pretty busy! He's 24 and just got out of the Army last summer. He doesn't drink, which is nice and very helpful. Him coming home isn't the reason I quit, but I'm so glad it happened right before he got home. It has kept me from going to a meeting so far, I hate to go out when he's only here for a few more days. I did call a counselor though, and I have an appt. Thursday morning. He's part of a facility that has inpatient, outpatient and just plain counseling sessions. I took Thursday and Friday off, and after my appt Thursday Robert and I will go up to the college he's enrolling in and try to get that all set up for him and his new wife to move in July. I've even gotten so that I'm not so tired. I'm really enjoying not being sick! But I do know I have to do something serious to keep it this way. Hugs to all of you and thanks for your warmth and caring. I'm reading here and finding so much experience, strength and hope.

Justme57

So glad you are feeling good karen

My son was in the Army, so i know how important it is to spend time with them when they are home ! LOL

i am so glad you have made your counselling appointment, and that you are so positive, keep it up

HUGX
Lee

KarenOskie

Ten days today. It's helped that my son has been home and we've been doing family stuff. I also saw a counselor but he was very focused on me actually going into treatment, at least outpatient, which I can't do and don't feel I need to do right now, and was otherwise pretty unhelpful. I'll look for another one, I think that one was mostly a salesman for the facility. I'm trying to decide if I have to go back to AA or not. I'm going to start by calling an old AA friend and talking to her about it. I want to do whatever I have to do to stay sober, but is doing the same thing I've tried a zillion times going to work this time? Somehow it has to be different this time, and I suspect from what I learned before that the thing that will have to be different is me. But how do I make me different?

doorknob

Hi Karen,

Have you checked out LifeRing at all?

http://unhooked.com/index.htm

Paul