Back again
Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Rainsville, Alabama
Posts: 189
Hay Karen yea this is Debbie the energizer bunny, anyway if you have a Big Book and a little spare time read "The Doctors Opinion" and "Bills Story" and "More About Alcoholism" when you read these take a yellow highlighter and everytime you read something that you can relate to your own life highlight it. After you have gone through these three chapters highlighting, get a notebook and write down how the things you have highlighted relate to your life. What "The Doctors Opinion" is trying to tell us is that alcoholism is a disease and it is not our fault that we have it. Not everyone that drinks alcohol will be an alcoholic, only people whose bodies metabolize alcohol like mine does will be an alcoholic. You cannot make yourself an alcoholic. You cannot make yourself not be an alcoholic. Alcoholics drink b/c of the effects produced by alcohol in their brains that causes an obcession stronger than the human will. What "Bills Story" is telling us is that there is a set of symptoms for alcoholics that were the same in 1935 when the book was written, as they are today. It dosn't matter if I hide my alcohol under the seat of my model T ford or my Xterra, Im still doing the same behavior. Bill W. had the same behaviors as an alcoholic as I did when I was drinking. See if any of them fit you. "More About Alcoholism" tells us of the many ways alcoholics try to stop on their own, usually before they are willing to admit they are true alcoholics. It tells us how we are powerless over the disease of alcoholism. If any of this fits you and you Identify with it then maybe AA is for you. If it dosn't then may you do need to find a different program for recovery. The one thing that I do know is that if you want to find a way to stay sober then reading 3 chapters and asking yourself these questions is not too much to ask for sobriety for the rest of your life. This is the first step work in AA that my sponsor had me do and after 5 years of relapses I finally got sober and stayed sober 10 years. Love to you Debs
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Georgia
Posts: 471
Hi Debs,
That is excellent advice. I do have my big book and I have been reading it, but the highlighting thing sounds good, I can see how I'd get a lot more out of it if I read it that way. There's no question for me whether or not I'm an alcoholic, I know that I am. From what I've been reading recently, the thing that stands out for me is that I need to have a complete psychic change. That's what did it for the old guys and that's what will do it for me, too, according to the big book. See I start out great, really. I've been enjoying not drinking and feeling good. One would think I would never put myself through the hell of drinking again. But the thing is, I've done this before, many times! There has always come a time when I just drank without thinking, even though hours or even minutes before I did I would have thought I was dedicated to my sobriety. The big book talks about that, too, and I think they call it alcoholic insanity. Being a member of AA when that insanity hit me has not always made a difference in the past. Sometimes it has, I can think of lots of times when I wanted to drink but didn't with the help of AA friends and sponsors. What I'm wanting now is some way to make sure I don't ever drink again and that I don't have to live with cravings for the rest of my life. I want to be happily and permanently sober! It has to be different this time, something more has to happen. I have worked the steps up to step 6 before, but maybe I was lacking something there, or maybe I should have put my nose to the grindstone and finished them up faster, before I had the chance for that insanity to hit me hard. I also have a hard time with faith in God. I have a very realistic viewpoint of God, and maybe I could set my brain aside and try to experiece Him with my spirit instead. I've been working on praying, and asking for faith. My gut feeling is that if I can really turn my will and my life over to God, the other things will fall into place. But that's very hard for me to do, I just have so little faith. I want to believe and I know that in the past when I've been spiritually close to God, those have been the happiest times of my life. I don't know the answer there, because you can only believe what you believe. If God is going to help me, I have to have faith in Him. I'm thinking of going to church as well as AA, and I still haven't given up the idea of a good counselor, either.
Thanks for your thoughtful post!
That is excellent advice. I do have my big book and I have been reading it, but the highlighting thing sounds good, I can see how I'd get a lot more out of it if I read it that way. There's no question for me whether or not I'm an alcoholic, I know that I am. From what I've been reading recently, the thing that stands out for me is that I need to have a complete psychic change. That's what did it for the old guys and that's what will do it for me, too, according to the big book. See I start out great, really. I've been enjoying not drinking and feeling good. One would think I would never put myself through the hell of drinking again. But the thing is, I've done this before, many times! There has always come a time when I just drank without thinking, even though hours or even minutes before I did I would have thought I was dedicated to my sobriety. The big book talks about that, too, and I think they call it alcoholic insanity. Being a member of AA when that insanity hit me has not always made a difference in the past. Sometimes it has, I can think of lots of times when I wanted to drink but didn't with the help of AA friends and sponsors. What I'm wanting now is some way to make sure I don't ever drink again and that I don't have to live with cravings for the rest of my life. I want to be happily and permanently sober! It has to be different this time, something more has to happen. I have worked the steps up to step 6 before, but maybe I was lacking something there, or maybe I should have put my nose to the grindstone and finished them up faster, before I had the chance for that insanity to hit me hard. I also have a hard time with faith in God. I have a very realistic viewpoint of God, and maybe I could set my brain aside and try to experiece Him with my spirit instead. I've been working on praying, and asking for faith. My gut feeling is that if I can really turn my will and my life over to God, the other things will fall into place. But that's very hard for me to do, I just have so little faith. I want to believe and I know that in the past when I've been spiritually close to God, those have been the happiest times of my life. I don't know the answer there, because you can only believe what you believe. If God is going to help me, I have to have faith in Him. I'm thinking of going to church as well as AA, and I still haven't given up the idea of a good counselor, either.
Thanks for your thoughtful post!
Member
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Rainsville, Alabama
Posts: 189
Not all sponsors work the steps the same way , the suggestions I gave you above was my 1st step work plus reading the 1st step in the 12&12, Then I met with my sponsor and we went over what I had written. Then I recieved my 2nd step work which was structured the same but different chapters. I only had a week to complete the work. However, if I didn't understand something I read I called my sponsor and discussed it. My sponsor required me to call EVERY day and we talked for about an hour. It wasn't about the weather. I was required to go to at least 5 meetings a week. (My life was at stake here) I was also having an issue with the God thing. She kept telling me thats ok you are not there yet don't worry about it. For right now just keep praying anyway and talk to God just like you talk to me. General conversation, no fancy speak. Don't have to begg or graval. Say what ever is on your mind it is ok. God knows anyway, you can't hide anything or lie to God. So just say what you feel. Keep it simple. STAY IN TODAY. DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO TO STAY SOBER TODAY. My suggestion would be to find a sponsor who will give you "real work" to do. It will help you "learn" and answer some of the questions you have above. Also you need someone who has "time" to spend with you. I felt like I needed a babysitter when I got to AA. A good counselor is a good Idea.Hard to find. I work in that field. The best one I know works for a nonprofit state funded outpatient facility in my area. ( no its not me) It is free to go there, you don't pay them for any service they provide. You have to be careful when looking into these though. Not all of them are quality. I wish you Gods blessings in your struggles, Debs
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
