tyler

Dude, that was just your HP telling you that it wasn't the right place for your to work!!! You hated that job anyway, time to move on and maybe even work on finding something you might consider rewarding instead of just a paycheck. Of course you sometimes gotta take what you can get to pay the bills, but try thinking about what you really want to do and see if you can maybe take some small steps towards getting there. It can make those ****** jobs a little more bearable when they are a means to the end instead of just a paycheck. I dont' particullarly love my job, but I reconized an opportunity in the company to move up quickly (because they can't keep anyone for more than about 2 months!!!). I got promoted to store manager within 8 months and even thought it's not the job I want now, it's a step toward what I want to do, whateve that is!! Keep your chin up!! Take care.

doorknob

Honestly, I don't know what I am capable of. I'm in a constant state of anxiety, and it doesn't take much to overwhelm me. The one part time job I have requires my car, which is currently blowing oil all over the place, thanks to my absent minded mechanic deciding that my car needed an extra quart of oil last oil change. Replacing those seals will be around $500, and I still owe him $550 for the extra parts he replaced before he found the real problem with my fuel injection. Needless to say, I'm not going back to him. And I have a court date on the 26th over the remainder of my last treatment bill. With the one job, I only make about $500 a month. I really don't know what to do.

brigid

Well I thought about it and wanted my subconscious to be able to help me. I realised that anytime I was stressed about something it was a dangerous time for me. Anyway, I picked up the phone book, phoned a bloke, he quoted me AU$150 for one session, said that I would not need to come back.

I was thinking that I would be really hypnotised, like the people on TV, but it was nothing like that. He just combined a therapy session and a stress relief session in one. Made me talk about my life and why I smoked pot and cigs. Then I put my head back on the comfy chair, he played soothing music and talked to me, firstly like another person trying to take me down to my inner self, then as myself. I knew exactly what was happening and it was just calming and peaceful.

He said it was often about stress and how we handle it. The whole thing was to give me a visualisation of the nastiness of my habits and then give me a quiet place to go to, to calm myself. It was great. It also gave me a date, a new way to try quitting, someone who said I wasn't the worst person in the world and it put a small hole in my pocket to motivate me.

I recommend it!

You are doing great BTW. More strength to you DK!

love Brigid

doorknob

Thanks Brigid. Tomorrow will be day 21.

c'est la vie

That's great Paul. Keep it up and I'm sure you'll feel better. I know it's hard to give in when you feel like you're not making progress (that's me) but everyone that's made it further says it just takes time.

doorknob

Yeah, I'm gonna be the soberest, cleanest, homeless mo fo out there. I feel like a . We went out to karaoke last night, and I was so depressed I couldn't even do it. I sang "That's why I'm here", went back to my seat, and broke down. Then I had to call of the night and go home, cuz all I could see was drinks being served and people tipping bottles. It really wasn't fair to my gf, and I feel bad. I guess we should start taking two cars. Wait, mine car is ******, and I can't afford the gas. I know..... I'm feeling sorry for myself and things could certainly be much worse.

Cathy31

Thinking of you Paul.

Remember, God's on it...don't worry!

21 days is SOOOO awesome!

Well done.

Cathy31
x

Cathy31

I don't see that as loser behaviour!!!! Quite to the contrary! More like a WINNER, Paul!!!!!

doorknob

Hey! You can't edit someones quote!!

doorknob

Thank you Cathy.

Tell that slacker to hurry up! How dare She put me behind world hunger!!

I still have to make it through today ya know!

Autumn

*LOL*

Good job not drinking at karaoke! And so what if you called it an early night. Your sobriety has to come before anything. Maybe you might need to skip karaoke for awhile.

So if you made it through last night, you can make it through today, right?



P.S. Sorry to read about the job thing. For some reason I just got the thought in my head that I'd like to work at a bowling alley. Now that's ambition.

Oh wait, they won't hire me. I might whack someone upside the head with a bowling pin, after all.

What a friggin' loser, lol.

Five

Welcome to Recovery Knob.

Its one hell of a journey.

doorknob

I didn't drink, but I gave in.

Paul

c'est la vie

It's a freakin' tough fight. Now get back in the ring.

c'est la vie

So how's it going today?

brigid

Doorknob, Day 21, able to say when enough is enough and letting a few (or a lot) emotions out. That is bloody good going! NOTHING can take this sober time away from you!

I used to find myself crying often, and lots of times for absolutely no reason that I could think of. I used to feel really depressed, like there was not a lot of point to it all ... but it passed and life keeps on getting better.

I so recommend getting into lots of water, lots of fresh food and the odd bit of exercise, none of that costs too much money, AND it made a huge difference to how I was feeling about myself as well as how my body actually felt.

I love that saying that you can act your way into right thinking. I have tried it, I have just said to myself to do the thing that I know is right to do even if I really, really don't want to do it. Stuff like getting off my arse and cleaning the bathroom, taking the dog for a walk, having a jog, eating an apple.

I think that work will happen in its own good time, there are other things to get right in life first and you are doing that.

WELL DONE!!

love Brigid

PS What does "I gave in" mean? Did you have a smoke? Or did you go back to Karaoke ... no big deal ... you didn't drink did you? Yay!!

doorknob

Brigid, WL, and Everyone,

I gave in the evening of day 21. I smoked pot. Yesterday, went right back to the old routine. I also had a few beers, and ate way too much deep fried food and ice cream. I'm gonna try again, and I'm gonna see a doctor about my anxiety and OCD. I'm also posting down in anxiety disorders. I'm sorry to disappoint, but I havent' entirely given up. I'll be back (like Arnold)!

Paul

c'est la vie

GOOD!!

Better to get started again right away.

CarolD

Use those sober days as a base for your new recovery..
you know you can quit because you did it before!!..

Hugs

brigid

Not disappointed Paul! You just did a stint of 3 weeks and learnt a heap, you will do this! Good luck with the doctor, great ideas there, learning how to deal with that stress and OCD is got to be a good thing.

Good luck, don't get down on yourself, you really have done an excellent thing and can keep doing it this time!

love Brigid