My Addiction... exploring the good and the bad... thanks to Don S.
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3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction?
You know, it was real nice to walk into the vendor's yesterday to buy a case a beer for someone as a thank you (he doesn't have a drinking problem and requested beer for work on my jeep) and to hear the clerk say "Wow, I haven't seen you in like forever!" I really like the fact that she was able to say that.
Before when I drank all the time, I had to choose which liquor store to go into so as to not be seen as an 'alcoholic'... lol
You know, it was real nice to walk into the vendor's yesterday to buy a case a beer for someone as a thank you (he doesn't have a drinking problem and requested beer for work on my jeep) and to hear the clerk say "Wow, I haven't seen you in like forever!" I really like the fact that she was able to say that.
Before when I drank all the time, I had to choose which liquor store to go into so as to not be seen as an 'alcoholic'... lol
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I am not sure what to do with this one... boredom... I used to drink to avoid boredom... can't be bored if your brain is pickled and you can't think about how bored you really are at times.
What don't I think I will like about giving up my addiction?
The fact that the "addict voice" continues to live within me and just rants and rants and rants at me at times. Be nice to just say shhhhhh, go to sleep.
Levi.
What don't I think I will like about giving up my addiction?
The fact that the "addict voice" continues to live within me and just rants and rants and rants at me at times. Be nice to just say shhhhhh, go to sleep.
Levi.
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4. What do I think I won't like about giving up my addiction?
a. This list tells you what kinds of new coping skills, behaviors and lifestyle changes you need to develop in order to stay addiction free.
Having to learn to cope without a crutch.
Having to come to terms with the fact that I am alone, my family is messed up beyond repair and I have few friends.
Having to face the world as I always have, alone. Having left home at 14 I guess I got tired of facing the world alone and drank to shut it out.
It is tuff when I am caught in a catch 22: the world taught me that I can't trust others, so I operate alone; but, at the same time life all alone is really not all that fulfilling and I desire a relationship; which takes me back to the catch 22, I don't trust well enough to really let someone in.
Levi
a. This list tells you what kinds of new coping skills, behaviors and lifestyle changes you need to develop in order to stay addiction free.
Having to learn to cope without a crutch.
Having to come to terms with the fact that I am alone, my family is messed up beyond repair and I have few friends.
Having to face the world as I always have, alone. Having left home at 14 I guess I got tired of facing the world alone and drank to shut it out.
It is tuff when I am caught in a catch 22: the world taught me that I can't trust others, so I operate alone; but, at the same time life all alone is really not all that fulfilling and I desire a relationship; which takes me back to the catch 22, I don't trust well enough to really let someone in.
Levi
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I had a realization this weekend, while I have said I wanted to quit drinking and while I have quit drinking, I have also relapsed from time to time.
Anyway, the realization was this, I don't think I ever thought it was possible to quit drinking forever. Somehow it was always in my head that I was just "quiting" rather than "I Quit!"
I wish to be clear, I Quit. My intention is to be a non-drinker and my actions today, as today's actions are the only actions that I can deal with, are not to drink.
Levi
Anyway, the realization was this, I don't think I ever thought it was possible to quit drinking forever. Somehow it was always in my head that I was just "quiting" rather than "I Quit!"
I wish to be clear, I Quit. My intention is to be a non-drinker and my actions today, as today's actions are the only actions that I can deal with, are not to drink.
Levi
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4. What do I think I won't like about giving up my addiction?
Having to learn to meet and socialize with members of the opposite sex without having a "crutch" to lean on. While I am not interested in any relationship at present as I simply do not think I am ready for one, I usually dated as a result of meeting someone while drinking... helped with the anxiety about asking someone out... that will be an experience I will now have to work through on my own... no crutches, no outs.
Levi
Having to learn to meet and socialize with members of the opposite sex without having a "crutch" to lean on. While I am not interested in any relationship at present as I simply do not think I am ready for one, I usually dated as a result of meeting someone while drinking... helped with the anxiety about asking someone out... that will be an experience I will now have to work through on my own... no crutches, no outs.
Levi
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3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction?
a. This provides you with a list of goals to achieve and things to look forward to as a result of your new addiction free lifestyle.
b. This list also helps you to reality test your expectations. If they are unrealistic, they can lead to a disappointment based relapse.
I just learned last Friday that I have really high cholesterol (bad kind) and was really down about it. How is this relevant to this post you ask... well, unlike in the past where I would get down about it and get drunk and try to ignore it I was able to take action oriented steps.
I began the process of assessing what I have been eating, how to change that (already know this b/c of weight training competitively for years) and took immediate steps. I then looked at other factors... the odd cigar... that has to go and laid out the steps for that to occur... more cardio exercise... planned it into my day.
In short, by giving up my addicition, I like the fact that I am action oriented and problem solving, rather than my former couch potato and problem hiding addictive self.
Peace and good thoughts,
Levi
a. This provides you with a list of goals to achieve and things to look forward to as a result of your new addiction free lifestyle.
b. This list also helps you to reality test your expectations. If they are unrealistic, they can lead to a disappointment based relapse.
I just learned last Friday that I have really high cholesterol (bad kind) and was really down about it. How is this relevant to this post you ask... well, unlike in the past where I would get down about it and get drunk and try to ignore it I was able to take action oriented steps.
I began the process of assessing what I have been eating, how to change that (already know this b/c of weight training competitively for years) and took immediate steps. I then looked at other factors... the odd cigar... that has to go and laid out the steps for that to occur... more cardio exercise... planned it into my day.
In short, by giving up my addicition, I like the fact that I am action oriented and problem solving, rather than my former couch potato and problem hiding addictive self.
Peace and good thoughts,
Levi
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1.b. Recognize positive thinking about the addiction as a potential relapse warning sign.
I've been getting these "flashes" of unwanted thoughts periodically lately. I know I relapsed a couple weeks back and that this is likely part of the "detox" and I also know now that this is the "positive thinking about the addiction" that I have to respond to with the "negative realities" of the addiction so as to stay sober forever.
Levi
I've been getting these "flashes" of unwanted thoughts periodically lately. I know I relapsed a couple weeks back and that this is likely part of the "detox" and I also know now that this is the "positive thinking about the addiction" that I have to respond to with the "negative realities" of the addiction so as to stay sober forever.
Levi
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Levi - have you any idea how much it means to me to know somewhere I could mean something and help towards something as priceless as this thread?
It's an all good thing. It's prompting me too - I did a CBA on smiking a long time ago and still smoke. No matter how personal all the things I wrote were I missed the most vital which (I think) made it seem distant.
That one thing is that I can put quitting off. I'm not getting into shoulds and shouldn'ts because they'd be all to obvious. My decision to stop based on the CBA was about the decision - what 'stopping' would mean. I can stop tomorrow and have those things, and then there's another tomorrow. I need to do the CBA with regards to stopping NOW, rather than 'stopping'. That changes MANY parts of my first thoughts - I'm scared of stopping NOW, that is a different decision.
It's an all good thing. It's prompting me too - I did a CBA on smiking a long time ago and still smoke. No matter how personal all the things I wrote were I missed the most vital which (I think) made it seem distant.
That one thing is that I can put quitting off. I'm not getting into shoulds and shouldn'ts because they'd be all to obvious. My decision to stop based on the CBA was about the decision - what 'stopping' would mean. I can stop tomorrow and have those things, and then there's another tomorrow. I need to do the CBA with regards to stopping NOW, rather than 'stopping'. That changes MANY parts of my first thoughts - I'm scared of stopping NOW, that is a different decision.
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1.b. Recognize positive thinking about the addiction as a potential relapse warning sign.
I have been having a lot of "urges" of late as I previously suggested, however, something is very different about it this time around. I am able to immediately identify that "urge" / "monster" voice and I am able to immediately shut it off. So while I cannot stop the first thought, I am for the first time being able to deal with it effectively.
What works for me? Challenging it immediately after I identify it... even if that means getting into an outloud argument with it... generally best done in my car with the tunes up high so people think I am just singing along and NOT CRAZY! LOL
Peace, Levi
I have been having a lot of "urges" of late as I previously suggested, however, something is very different about it this time around. I am able to immediately identify that "urge" / "monster" voice and I am able to immediately shut it off. So while I cannot stop the first thought, I am for the first time being able to deal with it effectively.
What works for me? Challenging it immediately after I identify it... even if that means getting into an outloud argument with it... generally best done in my car with the tunes up high so people think I am just singing along and NOT CRAZY! LOL
Peace, Levi
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Thanks Carol for the support.
What I like about giving up my addiction today is that after working out and then playing softball tonight, I am tuckered out and feel wonderful all without one iota of booze in me... not even a desire for it...
Peace Levi
What I like about giving up my addiction today is that after working out and then playing softball tonight, I am tuckered out and feel wonderful all without one iota of booze in me... not even a desire for it...
Peace Levi
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2. What do I hate about my addiction, what does it do to me (give specific examples)?
My addiction takes my otherwise low level mild depression to clinical depression.
My addiction takes my otherwise manageable life and makes it truly unmanageable because I am not able to function effectively, I become overly sensitive (more so than I normally am, after all I am an ACOA... working on it)
My addiction takes away all of the things that I find truly enjoyable and rewarding in my life. For example: working out, socializing, work, sleep, eating
My addiction makes me ashamed and embarrassed. Worst, it makes me detach from those that care about me because of my shame and embarrassment.
Peace Levi
My addiction takes my otherwise low level mild depression to clinical depression.
My addiction takes my otherwise manageable life and makes it truly unmanageable because I am not able to function effectively, I become overly sensitive (more so than I normally am, after all I am an ACOA... working on it)
My addiction takes away all of the things that I find truly enjoyable and rewarding in my life. For example: working out, socializing, work, sleep, eating
My addiction makes me ashamed and embarrassed. Worst, it makes me detach from those that care about me because of my shame and embarrassment.
Peace Levi
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3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction?
My spirituality, my connection to the universe and all that reside within it is being restored and I have a sense of overwhelming love and purpose once again.
2. What do I hate about my addiction, what does it do to me (give specific examples)?
The fact that my addiction took my spirituality from me and left me morally destitute and alone, suffering an unending daily death.
Levi
My spirituality, my connection to the universe and all that reside within it is being restored and I have a sense of overwhelming love and purpose once again.
2. What do I hate about my addiction, what does it do to me (give specific examples)?
The fact that my addiction took my spirituality from me and left me morally destitute and alone, suffering an unending daily death.
Levi
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3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction?
I like the fact that I am now more balanced and feel healthy and energetic each day.
I like the fact that I am doing new things and meeting new people.
I like the fact that I look forward to each day, not to work ending so I could have a drink.
2. What do I hate about my addiction, what does it do to me (give specific examples)?
I hate the fact that my addiction left me isolated, alone and without motivation. I am a caring, compassionate and loving person. My addiction robbed me of that.
Peace, Levi
I like the fact that I am now more balanced and feel healthy and energetic each day.
I like the fact that I am doing new things and meeting new people.
I like the fact that I look forward to each day, not to work ending so I could have a drink.
2. What do I hate about my addiction, what does it do to me (give specific examples)?
I hate the fact that my addiction left me isolated, alone and without motivation. I am a caring, compassionate and loving person. My addiction robbed me of that.
Peace, Levi
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3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction?
By giving up my addiction, I am finally open to my higher power and my spirituality is reawakened such that I am learning new truths everyday and I am growing as a person and I am becoming more connected to all that is around me.
I believe that my life will continue to improve and will continue to be filled with wonder with each passing day. My reprieve from my addiction is a daily one that requires me to work actively on myself and towards perpetual growth.
I look forward to the challenges and rewards that this brings. I wish the same for all of you.
Peace, Levi
By giving up my addiction, I am finally open to my higher power and my spirituality is reawakened such that I am learning new truths everyday and I am growing as a person and I am becoming more connected to all that is around me.
I believe that my life will continue to improve and will continue to be filled with wonder with each passing day. My reprieve from my addiction is a daily one that requires me to work actively on myself and towards perpetual growth.
I look forward to the challenges and rewards that this brings. I wish the same for all of you.
Peace, Levi
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3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction?
Freedom! Peace! And Sleep! I am free to live and grow as a person. I am free from the disasters that come from my drinking. I am free from physical, mental and emotional harm that comes with my drinking. Freedom and Peace! And Sleep!
Peace, Levi
Freedom! Peace! And Sleep! I am free to live and grow as a person. I am free from the disasters that come from my drinking. I am free from physical, mental and emotional harm that comes with my drinking. Freedom and Peace! And Sleep!
Peace, Levi
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3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction?
I love being free of guilt and self worry about things I either might have done or things I couldn't remember that other people told me I had done.
Levi
I love being free of guilt and self worry about things I either might have done or things I couldn't remember that other people told me I had done.
Levi
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1.b. Recognize positive thinking about the addiction as a potential relapse warning sign.
I know that rational recovery has its proponents and those that are seriously adverse to it, without offering any endorsemnts of that program, the one thing I did pick up from reading this guy's book is to identify the "positive thinking" about alcohol, which prior to reading it I was not very good at doing. Now I am able to identify the thoughts, isolate them and respond to them in a very confident and assertive fashion that leaves it very clear that I WILL NOT DRINK and I know this is my alcoholic side speaking.
Peace Levi
PS WAY TO GO DaddysGirl, congrats on 6 months!!! Hugs T
I know that rational recovery has its proponents and those that are seriously adverse to it, without offering any endorsemnts of that program, the one thing I did pick up from reading this guy's book is to identify the "positive thinking" about alcohol, which prior to reading it I was not very good at doing. Now I am able to identify the thoughts, isolate them and respond to them in a very confident and assertive fashion that leaves it very clear that I WILL NOT DRINK and I know this is my alcoholic side speaking.
Peace Levi
PS WAY TO GO DaddysGirl, congrats on 6 months!!! Hugs T
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