My Addiction... exploring the good and the bad... thanks to Don S.
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3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction?
Today is my actual birthday, not an stop drinking date, and I am sober, no hangover, and I think I will like being sober without hangovers for the rest of my birthdays in my lifetime!
Levi
Oh, and actually being able to remember what I do will be a big thing too!!!
Today is my actual birthday, not an stop drinking date, and I am sober, no hangover, and I think I will like being sober without hangovers for the rest of my birthdays in my lifetime!
Levi
Oh, and actually being able to remember what I do will be a big thing too!!!
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3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction?
I have always wanted to have a solid relationship and to have children. I think I will like the fact that once I get clean and sober and my thinking is normal, I will be able to have that life!
Peace, Levi
I have always wanted to have a solid relationship and to have children. I think I will like the fact that once I get clean and sober and my thinking is normal, I will be able to have that life!
Peace, Levi
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Happy Birthday, Levi!
What a fabulous list of gifts you're giving yourself. If you go through that list, you'll get presents daily. Hmm...some presence, too.
nice thread and you're already giving of yourself...groovy...Ki
What a fabulous list of gifts you're giving yourself. If you go through that list, you'll get presents daily. Hmm...some presence, too.
nice thread and you're already giving of yourself...groovy...Ki
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Thank you for that insight Kierra6, I hadn't seen it as a gift, but this thread has been incredibly enlightening for me.
I hope my thought process would help others too...any feedback on these issues from others is welcome.
I hope my thought process would help others too...any feedback on these issues from others is welcome.
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3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction?
As a professional who works with people routinely that have addiction issues, I think I will like being able to share my ES&H with them in the hopes that they can see that there is a different way.
Levi
As a professional who works with people routinely that have addiction issues, I think I will like being able to share my ES&H with them in the hopes that they can see that there is a different way.
Levi
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1.What do I enjoy about my addiction, what does it do for me (be specific)?
Takes me out of myself... I am very introverted and it can be hard coming out from my thoughts into the real world at times. Booze, initially gave me that, in the end it gave me more isolation.
2. What do I hate about my addiction, what does it do to me (give specific examples)?
I hate the URGES to drink and having to say NO all the time... just wish that part of my mind would quiet down... this too shall pass!
Peace, Levi
Takes me out of myself... I am very introverted and it can be hard coming out from my thoughts into the real world at times. Booze, initially gave me that, in the end it gave me more isolation.
2. What do I hate about my addiction, what does it do to me (give specific examples)?
I hate the URGES to drink and having to say NO all the time... just wish that part of my mind would quiet down... this too shall pass!
Peace, Levi
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Levi, I'd just like to say how wonderful it is to see your recovery in action. To me, that's what SR is all about, whichever side of the addiction equation we come from. I hope your posts inspire others to also keep putting the focus where it belongs - on recovery and growth.
You are a credit to yourself and I am honoured to bear witness to this part of your journey.
You are a credit to yourself and I am honoured to bear witness to this part of your journey.
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Thanks for the support guys and gals... it has been a real learning experience for me too... I think it really does help to work at this daily / semi daily.
1.What do I enjoy about my addiction, what does it do for me (be specific)?
I like the fact that my addiction causes me to be hyper attentive to detail... One of the things that I used to find myself doing was being super organized so I could blast through a day and then hurry home to drink.
After stopping drinking, I now am able to take that "hypervigilance" and turn it positively to other things... like work... I can prepare for the next day quickly and in a very focussed manner. Not totally sure if this is my nature or the booze, but it is effective.
I also appreciate that my addiction, once I recognized it, causes me to be humble and to treat life from a humbled perspective. After all, if one ounze of liquid can take me to my knees, what power or control do I really have in life!
Levi
Levi
1.What do I enjoy about my addiction, what does it do for me (be specific)?
I like the fact that my addiction causes me to be hyper attentive to detail... One of the things that I used to find myself doing was being super organized so I could blast through a day and then hurry home to drink.
After stopping drinking, I now am able to take that "hypervigilance" and turn it positively to other things... like work... I can prepare for the next day quickly and in a very focussed manner. Not totally sure if this is my nature or the booze, but it is effective.
I also appreciate that my addiction, once I recognized it, causes me to be humble and to treat life from a humbled perspective. After all, if one ounze of liquid can take me to my knees, what power or control do I really have in life!
Levi
Levi
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Originally Posted by leviathon
I also appreciate that my addiction, once I recognized it, causes me to be humble and to treat life from a humbled perspective. After all, if one ounze of liquid can take me to my knees, what power or control do I really have in life!
i
i
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3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction?
I will be calm and rational ...well at least most of the time!
I will find the bright spots in cloudy days, rather than the gloom in sunny days.
Levi
I will be calm and rational ...well at least most of the time!
I will find the bright spots in cloudy days, rather than the gloom in sunny days.
Levi
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3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction?
I hope and believe that my insatiable curiousity will return. Before drinking I thrived on learning and growing as a person. While drinking I regressed in my personal growth and didn't learn anything new if I didn't have to. I WANT my CURIOUSITY back.
Levi
I hope and believe that my insatiable curiousity will return. Before drinking I thrived on learning and growing as a person. While drinking I regressed in my personal growth and didn't learn anything new if I didn't have to. I WANT my CURIOUSITY back.
Levi
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I take it Equus' thread on self-actualization prompted this realization. I just finished reading it. Whew! I feel like I haven't thought deeply (or actually at all) lately so I'm looking forward to thinking also.
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Winelover, Equus' posting was the inspiration for this thread, but the realization of the loss of my curiousity as a result of drinking has been an ongoing source of frustration for about six months.
I have begun checking out on line universities and am planning to start taking a course a term towards a masters degree. Not because I need it for anything (already have two degrees and work in the field I want to), but because I love to learn. There is actually one course that is a writing course and focusses on writing skill development and self exploration/actualization! That'll be my first course.
Levi
I have begun checking out on line universities and am planning to start taking a course a term towards a masters degree. Not because I need it for anything (already have two degrees and work in the field I want to), but because I love to learn. There is actually one course that is a writing course and focusses on writing skill development and self exploration/actualization! That'll be my first course.
Levi
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Originally Posted by leviathon
3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction?
I hope and believe that my insatiable curiousity will return. Before drinking I thrived on learning and growing as a person. While drinking I regressed in my personal growth and didn't learn anything new if I didn't have to. I WANT my CURIOUSITY back.
Levi
I hope and believe that my insatiable curiousity will return. Before drinking I thrived on learning and growing as a person. While drinking I regressed in my personal growth and didn't learn anything new if I didn't have to. I WANT my CURIOUSITY back.
Levi
I have just loved learning since stopping alcohol, it is a real high, makes my life so much more interesting and fun. Have learnt so much about good food and health, addictions, psychology (in a very informal way), children, nature, religion, god, alternative therapies, emotions ... there just is no end to all the stuff we can learn ... I will NEVER be bored ... again, how fun!!!!!!!!!
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4. What do I think I won't like about giving up my addiction?
Today is a day like many others, although a lot more stressful and it has managed to now spill over into the rest of the week... work thing. At times like this in the past, I may have decided to drink... I will not deal with the stress that way now, but it would be nice to just let it go... instead I have to be prepared for tomorrow.
In short, I guess don't like having giving up the irresponsibility that goes along with my addiction.
Levi
Today is a day like many others, although a lot more stressful and it has managed to now spill over into the rest of the week... work thing. At times like this in the past, I may have decided to drink... I will not deal with the stress that way now, but it would be nice to just let it go... instead I have to be prepared for tomorrow.
In short, I guess don't like having giving up the irresponsibility that goes along with my addiction.
Levi
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3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction?
Choice. I like having the choice of what I do and what I put into my body. I like not feeling like I have to put alcohol into my body.
Levi
Choice. I like having the choice of what I do and what I put into my body. I like not feeling like I have to put alcohol into my body.
Levi
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1.What do I enjoy about my addiction, what does it do for me (be specific)?
a. Where possible, find alternative ways of achieving the same goals.
The addiction let me blow off stress with little or no effort, but at great personal costs.
b. Recognize positive thinking about the addiction as a potential relapse warning sign.
Now I go to the gym, which takes effort, but it has little personal cost other than the monthly membership and it has significant personal benefits in terms of my:
Improved sleep; self esteem; appetite; self esteem; self respect; and, gets me out of the house and myself.
Levi
a. Where possible, find alternative ways of achieving the same goals.
The addiction let me blow off stress with little or no effort, but at great personal costs.
b. Recognize positive thinking about the addiction as a potential relapse warning sign.
Now I go to the gym, which takes effort, but it has little personal cost other than the monthly membership and it has significant personal benefits in terms of my:
Improved sleep; self esteem; appetite; self esteem; self respect; and, gets me out of the house and myself.
Levi
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1.What do I enjoy about my addiction, what does it do for me (be specific)?
(d) List what you enjoy about your addiction so you can ask yourself if it is really worth the price.
Escape from reality; shut down from the stress and pressures of the day; escape from my own feelings of loneliness and depression, and a false sense of "happiness" obtained from the buzz...however, fleeting it was.
Was it really worth it? Lets see, esape from stress and pressure, I think we all need that at time, but considering it meant living with a hangover daily, having blood pressure that was severely high, looking like crap, living in a mental fog, sweating, etc., all the time, stomach PAIN and discomfort, NO IT WASN'T. I get the same release from some loud tunes in my Ipod and an hour or two at the gym. The only consequence of that is some muscle soreness, fatigue and hunger.
e. Realize that you aren't stupid; you did get something from your addiction. It just may not be working on your behalf anymore.
First, I am highly intelligent with the exception of my drinking. For some reason with my drinking the connection between the minimal benefits I received and the many consequences did not seem to last from the morning when I felt the worst and the evening when I would start again.
This has confused me at times. For instance, animals if made sick by something they eat will avoid that substance in the future. At times my drinking made me violently ill. More often than not I was "sick", taking all the daily symptoms into consideration, but my brain could not/would not make the connection between the drinking and those negative consequences. It is an example of how powerful this "disease" is in that it twists your thinking to ensure continued use.
Levi.
(d) List what you enjoy about your addiction so you can ask yourself if it is really worth the price.
Escape from reality; shut down from the stress and pressures of the day; escape from my own feelings of loneliness and depression, and a false sense of "happiness" obtained from the buzz...however, fleeting it was.
Was it really worth it? Lets see, esape from stress and pressure, I think we all need that at time, but considering it meant living with a hangover daily, having blood pressure that was severely high, looking like crap, living in a mental fog, sweating, etc., all the time, stomach PAIN and discomfort, NO IT WASN'T. I get the same release from some loud tunes in my Ipod and an hour or two at the gym. The only consequence of that is some muscle soreness, fatigue and hunger.
e. Realize that you aren't stupid; you did get something from your addiction. It just may not be working on your behalf anymore.
First, I am highly intelligent with the exception of my drinking. For some reason with my drinking the connection between the minimal benefits I received and the many consequences did not seem to last from the morning when I felt the worst and the evening when I would start again.
This has confused me at times. For instance, animals if made sick by something they eat will avoid that substance in the future. At times my drinking made me violently ill. More often than not I was "sick", taking all the daily symptoms into consideration, but my brain could not/would not make the connection between the drinking and those negative consequences. It is an example of how powerful this "disease" is in that it twists your thinking to ensure continued use.
Levi.
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2. What do I hate about my addiction, what does it do to me (give specific examples)?
One thing that has always puzzled me about my addiction is the way I could "overlook" or fail to connect all the consequences of my drinking with my drinking.
The AA mantra about it being cunning and baffling is very true.
Levi
One thing that has always puzzled me about my addiction is the way I could "overlook" or fail to connect all the consequences of my drinking with my drinking.
The AA mantra about it being cunning and baffling is very true.
Levi
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