My Addiction... exploring the good and the bad... thanks to Don S.
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4. What do I think I won't like about giving up my addiction?
Not having the old fall back of alcohol to immerse my feelings in if I don't want to deal with them. For that matter... always having to deal with things and not being able to opt out by getting drunk.
Having to deal with being in a social setting without the old "equalizer" to make me feel "comfortable" or at least not to care if I don't feel comfortable.
Not having the old fall back of alcohol to immerse my feelings in if I don't want to deal with them. For that matter... always having to deal with things and not being able to opt out by getting drunk.
Having to deal with being in a social setting without the old "equalizer" to make me feel "comfortable" or at least not to care if I don't feel comfortable.
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having just fallen off the wagon and rebounded back this weekend... here goes round two... 2. what I hate about my addiction...
Admitting I fell off the wagon
Wondering if I phoned anyone while drunk and said something stupid ... fortunately I didn't but that initial nagging question when I awoke...
Ohhh, my poor liver, brain, kidneys, heart, back, etc., etc.
1. What do I like about my addiciton...
I slept for like 10 hours non stop... didn't feel all that rested mind u, but I actually slept more than five hours in one go...
Admitting I fell off the wagon
Wondering if I phoned anyone while drunk and said something stupid ... fortunately I didn't but that initial nagging question when I awoke...
Ohhh, my poor liver, brain, kidneys, heart, back, etc., etc.
1. What do I like about my addiciton...
I slept for like 10 hours non stop... didn't feel all that rested mind u, but I actually slept more than five hours in one go...
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sorry Carol, but that link isn't working... you mean dead I assume? I agree, if I were to continue, that is the ultimate outcome... not where I am going to end up thankfully.
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2. what I hate about my addiction... cont'd
I hate the chills that I get after having drank... my hands and feet are soooo cold, I am not normally cold ever...
I hate that I can't just decide that's it, I am done, no more problem... it is really a lifetime of accepting that I am an alcoholic and that I cannot drink... EVER.
I hate that I am not in control of this thing... how can an inanimate substance have so much control over my mind and system??? Geees, I hate that...
I hate the feeling of emptiness that follows having drank ... regardless of how much... I still feel empty... likely because I felt empty and was trying to fill that emptiness... at least in part... when I drank.
Peace, Levi.
Man that phrase "peace" is so profound... I wish all of us peace... just for today... because that is the only place we can live.
I hate the chills that I get after having drank... my hands and feet are soooo cold, I am not normally cold ever...
I hate that I can't just decide that's it, I am done, no more problem... it is really a lifetime of accepting that I am an alcoholic and that I cannot drink... EVER.
I hate that I am not in control of this thing... how can an inanimate substance have so much control over my mind and system??? Geees, I hate that...
I hate the feeling of emptiness that follows having drank ... regardless of how much... I still feel empty... likely because I felt empty and was trying to fill that emptiness... at least in part... when I drank.
Peace, Levi.
Man that phrase "peace" is so profound... I wish all of us peace... just for today... because that is the only place we can live.
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One of the exercises we did in rehab was to also look at what I like about my addiction...that was an interesting starting point...and once I unpacked that, it allowed for focus on *other* areas....
Another interesting exercise which I think Don would approve of and what might elp you Levi, is to write down your values ... and then look at how alcohol compromises those values...it's hugely insightful!!!
Cathy31
x
Another interesting exercise which I think Don would approve of and what might elp you Levi, is to write down your values ... and then look at how alcohol compromises those values...it's hugely insightful!!!
Cathy31
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Originally Posted by Cathy31
One of the exercises we did in rehab was to also look at what I like about my addiction...that was an interesting starting point...and once I unpacked that, it allowed for focus on *other* areas....
Another interesting exercise which I think Don would approve of and what might elp you Levi, is to write down your values ... and then look at how alcohol compromises those values...it's hugely insightful!!!
Cathy31
x
Another interesting exercise which I think Don would approve of and what might elp you Levi, is to write down your values ... and then look at how alcohol compromises those values...it's hugely insightful!!!
Cathy31
x
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that's a great point Cathy and Five, I'll make a point of adding that to my to do list. I realize that I have a lot of work to do if I am to beat this thing and I will do what ever it takes to do that.
Levi
Levi
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1. What do I like about my addiction...
The only time I like anything about my addiction is when I am drinking... well and right up to that last thought b/f I gave in... "I'm gonna drink"
When I am not drinking, there is nothing that I like about it. I have come to that conclusion after a lot of introspective searching. There simply is not now, nor has there ever been anything healthy that has ever come from it. NOTHING.
The only time I like anything about my addiction is when I am drinking... well and right up to that last thought b/f I gave in... "I'm gonna drink"
When I am not drinking, there is nothing that I like about it. I have come to that conclusion after a lot of introspective searching. There simply is not now, nor has there ever been anything healthy that has ever come from it. NOTHING.
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3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction?
A life of moderation where I am spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically fulfilled.
Being able to say no, despite the overwhelming compulsion to say yes to new clients, issues, etc. Inability to say no to booze isn't my only problem. Gotta learn to say no in general where appropriate. Never realized that before.
4. What do I think I won't like about giving up my addiction?
No more excuses. Gotta play the tune and face the piper for all that I do. Can't opt out on my feelings and I must actively engage life. ... is that really so bad... well some days...
A life of moderation where I am spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically fulfilled.
Being able to say no, despite the overwhelming compulsion to say yes to new clients, issues, etc. Inability to say no to booze isn't my only problem. Gotta learn to say no in general where appropriate. Never realized that before.
4. What do I think I won't like about giving up my addiction?
No more excuses. Gotta play the tune and face the piper for all that I do. Can't opt out on my feelings and I must actively engage life. ... is that really so bad... well some days...
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3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction?
Travel, actually found myself staring off into space at a commercial last night about a vacation on a cruise ship and realized by stopping drinking and putting those funds aside each month I could do that three or four times per year, easily.
Travel, actually found myself staring off into space at a commercial last night about a vacation on a cruise ship and realized by stopping drinking and putting those funds aside each month I could do that three or four times per year, easily.
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3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction?
Travel, actually found myself staring off into space at a commercial last night about a vacation on a cruise ship and realized by stopping drinking and putting those funds aside each month I could do that three or four times per year, easily.
So that is what I am going to do, start a travel fund! Deposit those funds once a month into a separate account.
Travel, actually found myself staring off into space at a commercial last night about a vacation on a cruise ship and realized by stopping drinking and putting those funds aside each month I could do that three or four times per year, easily.
So that is what I am going to do, start a travel fund! Deposit those funds once a month into a separate account.
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leviathon... I have a question for you. Your avatar... Is that a hamster with a semi-automatic weapon???
A vacation fund seems like a great idea! What a way to reward yourself for not drinking! (Having the drink pay your way for some R&R!!)
Good Luck!
A vacation fund seems like a great idea! What a way to reward yourself for not drinking! (Having the drink pay your way for some R&R!!)
Good Luck!
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ya the avitar cracked me up... hamster with an uzi... now I can take on all of my problems...
As for the vacation... at 13.00 a day, I realistically could take three to four vacations a year... that is 4750 per year roughly... not including cigars... so call it 7,000 that's alot of wasted cash.
As for the vacation... at 13.00 a day, I realistically could take three to four vacations a year... that is 4750 per year roughly... not including cigars... so call it 7,000 that's alot of wasted cash.
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3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction?
While I have recently screwed up and drank as a result of poor management of myself, one of the things that has happened as a result of my terminating drinking last fall is that my career and my instincts ARE back on track. As evidence of that is the results I obtained in my profession today.
In short, what I will like is that my career will be back on track and I can aspire to be the best professional I can be. ... man that sounded like a "marines" advertisement...
Levi
While I have recently screwed up and drank as a result of poor management of myself, one of the things that has happened as a result of my terminating drinking last fall is that my career and my instincts ARE back on track. As evidence of that is the results I obtained in my profession today.
In short, what I will like is that my career will be back on track and I can aspire to be the best professional I can be. ... man that sounded like a "marines" advertisement...
Levi
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3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction?
Having friends, real friends, not just booze buddies or messed up co dependent friends
Developing a real relationship based on love, commitment, understanding, nurturing, caring, etc.
Having friends, real friends, not just booze buddies or messed up co dependent friends
Developing a real relationship based on love, commitment, understanding, nurturing, caring, etc.
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4. What do I think I won't like about giving up my addiction?
Today what I don't like is that I really feel like getting DRUNK... I WON'T but I feel like it... bad day.
3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction?
That I won't have a hangover tomorrow as a result of getting drunk tomorrow. Tomorrow, after all is my actual birthday... and I'd prefer to feel good tomorrow!
Levi
Today what I don't like is that I really feel like getting DRUNK... I WON'T but I feel like it... bad day.
3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction?
That I won't have a hangover tomorrow as a result of getting drunk tomorrow. Tomorrow, after all is my actual birthday... and I'd prefer to feel good tomorrow!
Levi
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Originally Posted by leviathon
3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction?
Having friends, real friends, not just booze buddies or messed up co dependent friends
Developing a real relationship based on love, commitment, understanding, nurturing, caring, etc.
Having friends, real friends, not just booze buddies or messed up co dependent friends
Developing a real relationship based on love, commitment, understanding, nurturing, caring, etc.
I tried reading most of this thread but the "black space" got to me lol. I need to go back and try to read it again because it's a really useful and thought provoking thread. thanks for starting it.
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Thanks for the input Wine Lover. I did not intend to start it, but I have learned a lot by starting it and hope that I am helping others too.
You will note in the later posts, the "black spaces" have gotten smaller.
Levi.
You will note in the later posts, the "black spaces" have gotten smaller.
Levi.
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