2muchpain

After 17 days with not drinking, I am drinking again. But this time is different. Before, I would feel great drinking again, as if it was a vacation. Now it is just now a three day boring binge. I guess this is just getting old, sitting on my couch and drinking the day away, when I could be doing something worthwhile. Don't get me wrong, the high is great, but by the end of the day, I realize I got nothing done, and probably won't do much tomorrow due to withdrawals.

Sudz No More

It's just a crutch, we've all been there. Tomorrow starts another day and it can be your last day one if you really want it to be. You just need to string together about 10 of those 17 day stretches and you should be far removed from the mental impulses that brought you back to the drink this time.

Give another go, don't give up.

Dee74

so whats the plan 2much?

D

Hevyn

2much - There's nothing in it for us anymore. It is so over. Hope you'll get back on track and not return to that miserable place.

tomsteve

its getting old, but do ya want to stop?

Raider

Ouch! You are my inspiration!!!!

jdooner

The sad truth when you realize your own mind is playing tricks on you. I liken it to being in a desert and so dehydrated that you see a stream and go take a big sip but its sand and a mirage. That is all going back to the drink is, a mirage. Try to come back before you get sucked into that spell again - make a plan.

Kris47

Start over while you still can.

least

I would work hard to develop a plan for staying sober. Whether it's meetings, therapy, or whatever. You can do this. Drinking will only make things worse, never better.

fini

sure does get real old...what's left there for you?

1newcreation

If stay in solution, won't have to pick up a drink

Sanantoniosober

If it helps, this may be a good thing that you feel this way. A turning point for me was the last time I drank I didn't enjoy it.

Like you say, it's getting boring. The thrill is gone. And you are thinking about what the consequences are going to be. That's a big step towards realizing your brain/body doesn't want to keep drinking.

SillyString

I think this might be a good thing, if you take this experience and turn it into a way to stop and stay stopped. I think many of us chased that feeling we got from alcohol during the first few years of use - that pleasant, silly feeling. Trouble is, as our bodies and brains changed and adapted to alcohol, we kind of "directly pass go" - and move right on to being plastered/blackout/not pleasantly in control of ourselves. That particular feeling doesn't exist for us anymore - though we keep chasing it.

I think examining the reality of how this latest episode has made you feel, physically and mentally, might be a deterrent to continuing.

I know this probably sounds stupid by comparison - but I was a huge soda addict. 10+ regular cans a DAY. So - I finally quit cold turkey. Continued for a time to fantasize about how GREAT one would taste. So - had a lemonade one day at a restaurant. Figured, I'd cheat just a 'little'. Nearly spit it out because my taste buds had changed. It was so ungodly sweet that tasted AWFUL to me. And I was able to use that experience to re-train my brain, and tell myself - you only THINK you want it - but it tastes gross to you now, so don't even go there.

2muchpain

My plan is too stay very busy. Go to AA meetings, individual and group therapy, go to the gym and work at least three days a week. I usually do well if I have a schedule to keep. I started drinking on a Friday, and made no plans for the weekend which lead to drinking on Monday and Tuesday. Downtime leads to boredom, and boredom leads me back to the liquor store. I'm happy to say I did not drink today, and I have all of you to thank for sticking with me.

Dee74

glad to see you back and doing ok 2much

D