Drinking at Work
I'm a goofy dork most times =)
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 40
Well I want to thank everyone for their honesty and humility in telling me their stories. I never knew it could be like that. I came on today because I did not bring anything to work (YAY!) but to see if anyone knew about the sober recovery retreat (I never got a response to the email I sent to the coordinator.
Back to the issue at hand. I threw up in the shower today brushing my tongue. I threw up in my little toilet room over the weekend (it was horrid, it went everywhere). I haven't gotten any shakes or things like I've read on these posts, but at one point, I could drink a 24 oz. Coors Light in a minute and 45 seconds. Now it takes me 10 minutes, because the smell and taste, and MOST OF ALL, the thought that I might get sick, makes me sick. I guess that's a good thing, because this morning I had time to stop at the store, but I drove right by it because I had thrown up bile in the shower this morning and was still sick. And it wasn't just dry heaving, I threw up for 10 minutes, enough for my husband to come in after he heard it and ask if I was okay and hand me a tissue to blow my nose.
I have been approached by coworkers on two separate occasions (two separate coworkers) about my drinking. Each time it scared the crap out of me enough to not drink at work for over a month. I don't carry a purse, and am too scared to put anything in a drawer, so I would keep it in my car or go to the bar with a friend once a week (with a bartender who knew us and didn't charge us and made it his mission to keep the glass full) But because my husband and I fight in the mornings or at night, I would go to work early and stop at the store and buy 2 or 4 24 oz beers and drink 2 before work and 2 during work or at lunch. When I think of the calories in that, it abhors me, but they fill me up so I usually don't eat. If I do eat, I gorge myself, which I am sure is also a telltale sign.
My biggest downfall overall? I have gained between 35-40 pounds because of my drinking in the past 5-6 years. I eat to hide the smell and adding an additionall 800 calories in beer doesn't help. My husband isn't attracted to me, doesn't want to touch me, be with me, nothing. He works at Bellagio, so he eats lunch with the perfect cocktail waitresses and the perfect everyone else's. He told me when we got married if I got fat he wouldn't want to be with me. He was right. I went from a size 3 to a size 14 and I am just so disgusted with myself, I hide myself from him anyway. :-(
Someone mentioned he should go to Al-Anon, he told me before that his parents were alcoholics when he was a kid and he went to Al-Ateen. So he thinks he knows how to deal with me. His last girlfriend 10 years ago was a blackjack dealer and would stay out till 4 am partying with her friends and couldn't have fun without drinking, kind of like me. He's frustrated that he keeps getting these women who like to drink, and (maybe because he's italian, haha) he lets his temper get ahead of his analytical side and blows up if he even thinks something is amiss.
Anyway. So far so good on the workday. I noticed people are talking to me today (I get paranoid when I drink and notice when people don't talk) so I think that's a good sign too...?
Back to the issue at hand. I threw up in the shower today brushing my tongue. I threw up in my little toilet room over the weekend (it was horrid, it went everywhere). I haven't gotten any shakes or things like I've read on these posts, but at one point, I could drink a 24 oz. Coors Light in a minute and 45 seconds. Now it takes me 10 minutes, because the smell and taste, and MOST OF ALL, the thought that I might get sick, makes me sick. I guess that's a good thing, because this morning I had time to stop at the store, but I drove right by it because I had thrown up bile in the shower this morning and was still sick. And it wasn't just dry heaving, I threw up for 10 minutes, enough for my husband to come in after he heard it and ask if I was okay and hand me a tissue to blow my nose.
I have been approached by coworkers on two separate occasions (two separate coworkers) about my drinking. Each time it scared the crap out of me enough to not drink at work for over a month. I don't carry a purse, and am too scared to put anything in a drawer, so I would keep it in my car or go to the bar with a friend once a week (with a bartender who knew us and didn't charge us and made it his mission to keep the glass full) But because my husband and I fight in the mornings or at night, I would go to work early and stop at the store and buy 2 or 4 24 oz beers and drink 2 before work and 2 during work or at lunch. When I think of the calories in that, it abhors me, but they fill me up so I usually don't eat. If I do eat, I gorge myself, which I am sure is also a telltale sign.
My biggest downfall overall? I have gained between 35-40 pounds because of my drinking in the past 5-6 years. I eat to hide the smell and adding an additionall 800 calories in beer doesn't help. My husband isn't attracted to me, doesn't want to touch me, be with me, nothing. He works at Bellagio, so he eats lunch with the perfect cocktail waitresses and the perfect everyone else's. He told me when we got married if I got fat he wouldn't want to be with me. He was right. I went from a size 3 to a size 14 and I am just so disgusted with myself, I hide myself from him anyway. :-(
Someone mentioned he should go to Al-Anon, he told me before that his parents were alcoholics when he was a kid and he went to Al-Ateen. So he thinks he knows how to deal with me. His last girlfriend 10 years ago was a blackjack dealer and would stay out till 4 am partying with her friends and couldn't have fun without drinking, kind of like me. He's frustrated that he keeps getting these women who like to drink, and (maybe because he's italian, haha) he lets his temper get ahead of his analytical side and blows up if he even thinks something is amiss.
Anyway. So far so good on the workday. I noticed people are talking to me today (I get paranoid when I drink and notice when people don't talk) so I think that's a good sign too...?
Coming out of my shell
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: State of Denial
Posts: 100
Jenni,
Glad to hear you're not drinking at work anymore.
Your story is very familiar to me. Although I never drank during work hours, I would grab 2 then 3 then 4 24oz cans of beer (Coors Light also) and bring them back to my office to drink before I went home. I would drink a couple then take 2 more home to finish off while I was in the bath tub. I also ate a lot after I was done drinking and have gained 40 pounds recently... wonder why...:andy:. Hubby can't smell though, so I never had to hide that part from him.
Hang in there, it will get better.
Kathy
Glad to hear you're not drinking at work anymore.
Your story is very familiar to me. Although I never drank during work hours, I would grab 2 then 3 then 4 24oz cans of beer (Coors Light also) and bring them back to my office to drink before I went home. I would drink a couple then take 2 more home to finish off while I was in the bath tub. I also ate a lot after I was done drinking and have gained 40 pounds recently... wonder why...:andy:. Hubby can't smell though, so I never had to hide that part from him. Hang in there, it will get better.
Kathy
I'm a goofy dork most times =)
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Las Vegas, NV
Posts: 40
I had a DUI in October and that scared me more than anything. I have to take three classes and pay more than $1000 for them not to mention the $1500 I paid for the lawyer and all that. When I would drink at work, I would buy 2 or 4 24 oz beers, and stop at the Home Depot parking lot (two blocks from my work) and drink two or put then in a cup to bring into work. We usually go to lunch together, so the other two, if I had them, would wait until after work--I don't mind drinking warm beer, though that might have something to do with the vomitting problem I've been having. Anyway, in a sense, I guess, yes I was drinking and driving.
alcohol-kicked-my butt
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: oregon
Posts: 191
hey earlybird
dont tell me you never drove drunk--lol--i mean when your in the depths of alcoholism you dont care--you need that drink--i know in sobriety she wont be driving drunk and she is fully aware she shouldnt be now--you know i understand we all handle these things differently--i guess one of the things that gets my goat the most is when people forget what it was like and start judging---arrrggghhh--i totally understand we have 2 different popints of view--i think your great--we all are--im just fairly sure she knows wrong from right, most alkies do--
laura
dont tell me you never drove drunk--lol--i mean when your in the depths of alcoholism you dont care--you need that drink--i know in sobriety she wont be driving drunk and she is fully aware she shouldnt be now--you know i understand we all handle these things differently--i guess one of the things that gets my goat the most is when people forget what it was like and start judging---arrrggghhh--i totally understand we have 2 different popints of view--i think your great--we all are--im just fairly sure she knows wrong from right, most alkies do--
laura
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