I joined SR in December
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: St. Louis MO
Posts: 396
Thanks so much everyone. During the week I always feel so good. I'm going to get that computer and buy me one. So when its 7:00 at night I can post a thread that has you all tell me to go to a meeting and email back.
Peaceout, please stick around.
Peaceout, please stick around.
Michael
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: London England
Posts: 291
Oncenice,
I got up today feeling under the weather with a head cold. I am the first to tell you that when I have something wrong with my my self-pity knows no limits and I was feeling properly pitiful. That is until I read your post and my self-pity evaporated in an instant. You are struggling with the many facets of alcoholic addiction and right now it must seem as though there is no light at the end of the tunnel. There is always hope, it springs eternal and is part of being human. There is a solution to your problem and you know deep in your heart what it is. Sobriety may seem a hopeless quest but I am sober against all my hopes and expectations of a few years ago. I reached that position where all avenues to progress had been closed off except for the one marked sobriety. Give that path a go and see how your life will change. You owe it to yourself.
Michael
I got up today feeling under the weather with a head cold. I am the first to tell you that when I have something wrong with my my self-pity knows no limits and I was feeling properly pitiful. That is until I read your post and my self-pity evaporated in an instant. You are struggling with the many facets of alcoholic addiction and right now it must seem as though there is no light at the end of the tunnel. There is always hope, it springs eternal and is part of being human. There is a solution to your problem and you know deep in your heart what it is. Sobriety may seem a hopeless quest but I am sober against all my hopes and expectations of a few years ago. I reached that position where all avenues to progress had been closed off except for the one marked sobriety. Give that path a go and see how your life will change. You owe it to yourself.
Michael
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
Sooo ((((OnceNice))) you are now a healer of other people self pity doesn't that feel good? (((Michealj's))) post seems to be a good example of how others may respond or think of you...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: St. Louis MO
Posts: 396
My biggest problem with all of this is how I think when I'm not drinking. I know drinking is a problem for me. I know I am an alcholic. What I don't know, is when you are alone and by yourself, which I am, how to shake the anxiety. As you all know I self medicate with my drinking. That is why I want a computer so badly. So that when I'm home alone and my mind starts to freak out. I can talk to you all who do not judge me. Since having a few icky AA experience, I feel stupid going there. I want to shake that too. I also want to know if you have life outside of AA. Do you socialize with others. When I'm at work I don't want or even desire a drink. Its as soon as I get in the car to go home. I get that feeling of time to forget. I drink for a reason, which makes me a big alchy. I know.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: Good Ole' Rocky Top!
Posts: 3,540
(((Rose)))
I have no idea what I am about to say. So, forgive me in advance if I ramble. I too am an alcholic. Have been for many years. I am quite new to sobriety AGAIN. I have many stints of sobriety here and there along the years. I know how you feel about AA. I used to go. Never felt a part. Never felt accepted. Until this time around. When I first started going to the meetings I go to now, I still did not feel accepted. But, I kept going back and now I do not feel that way. It's not like I am big buddies with all of the people there yet, but some know me by name and I know their names. But, I had to keep going back to achive even this. Same with SR. When I first joined (originally in 2003), I did not feel accepted. I felt like everyone had their own friends and I was an outsider. But I just kept posting and eventually I did make friends. And you have too and you will continue to do so.
I hope that you do get that computer. I would like to get to know you better. You seem like a very kind sweet gal. You are just hurting and trying to figure this crazy "disease" out like the rest of us. That's why we are all here sweetie.
KEEP POSTING!!!!!!!!!!!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
ANg
I have no idea what I am about to say. So, forgive me in advance if I ramble. I too am an alcholic. Have been for many years. I am quite new to sobriety AGAIN. I have many stints of sobriety here and there along the years. I know how you feel about AA. I used to go. Never felt a part. Never felt accepted. Until this time around. When I first started going to the meetings I go to now, I still did not feel accepted. But, I kept going back and now I do not feel that way. It's not like I am big buddies with all of the people there yet, but some know me by name and I know their names. But, I had to keep going back to achive even this. Same with SR. When I first joined (originally in 2003), I did not feel accepted. I felt like everyone had their own friends and I was an outsider. But I just kept posting and eventually I did make friends. And you have too and you will continue to do so.
I hope that you do get that computer. I would like to get to know you better. You seem like a very kind sweet gal. You are just hurting and trying to figure this crazy "disease" out like the rest of us. That's why we are all here sweetie.
KEEP POSTING!!!!!!!!!!!
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
ANg
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: London
Posts: 1,229
I have OCD. Its a nightmare. I have been depressed, so depressed I honestly contemplated doing a crap in my pants because I couldn’t be bothered going to the toilet.
The beauty of not drinking is that I can deal with these issues with a clear head. I can actually find out what makes me feel so weird, so isolated, and so different from everyone else. And here is the pay off by stopping drinking: those feelings are often caused by the drinking. Not all of them, for sure. But getting rid of the brain soaking cra p is one huge step away from mental anguish, terror, and social isolation. Logically, by stopping drinking, you are changing the way you interact with the world. Healing, as some call it. it pays off – not drinking pays off. I took hundreds of EXTC tablets. I don’t anymore – and the pay off is incredible. I can talk to people now without thinking:
They think I am a nutter
They think I am weird
They think I am cold and unstable
They think etc…
I got to this stage by not drinking. I didn’t get to this stage by drinking more. I am not a fortune teller, and I am not saying you are making your life worse by drinking – I have no idea. All I am saying is that for me, I had to heal myself from years of heartache, hurt, and bewilderment. I had to stop drinking. The negative side of drinking took over from the positives, and I stopped. I went to AA, it didtn work, I use a little bit of SMART here and there, but most of all I am just trying to live a full and happy life without drink.
Contemplating is better than rationalisations, so stick around and think about what people have said to you. Some around here say we can understand like other cant – when it comes to the horror of drinking, I buy that claim.
The beauty of not drinking is that I can deal with these issues with a clear head. I can actually find out what makes me feel so weird, so isolated, and so different from everyone else. And here is the pay off by stopping drinking: those feelings are often caused by the drinking. Not all of them, for sure. But getting rid of the brain soaking cra p is one huge step away from mental anguish, terror, and social isolation. Logically, by stopping drinking, you are changing the way you interact with the world. Healing, as some call it. it pays off – not drinking pays off. I took hundreds of EXTC tablets. I don’t anymore – and the pay off is incredible. I can talk to people now without thinking:
They think I am a nutter
They think I am weird
They think I am cold and unstable
They think etc…
I got to this stage by not drinking. I didn’t get to this stage by drinking more. I am not a fortune teller, and I am not saying you are making your life worse by drinking – I have no idea. All I am saying is that for me, I had to heal myself from years of heartache, hurt, and bewilderment. I had to stop drinking. The negative side of drinking took over from the positives, and I stopped. I went to AA, it didtn work, I use a little bit of SMART here and there, but most of all I am just trying to live a full and happy life without drink.
Contemplating is better than rationalisations, so stick around and think about what people have said to you. Some around here say we can understand like other cant – when it comes to the horror of drinking, I buy that claim.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: St. Louis MO
Posts: 396
Five, thank you. You are the first who talked about OCD and drinking.
I'm going to buy my computer for sure. I have to. That way if I don't have a drink and start to think. I'll have SR.
I'm going to buy my computer for sure. I have to. That way if I don't have a drink and start to think. I'll have SR.
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,525
Rose, I saw you were on SR, and here you are! I was looking for you.
It will be so good for you to get a computer so you can stay in touch with the folks here when you're at home. I don't know diddly-squat about buying the things, but I think there must be some out there that aren't outrageously priced.
Have a good day today!
Jane
It will be so good for you to get a computer so you can stay in touch with the folks here when you're at home. I don't know diddly-squat about buying the things, but I think there must be some out there that aren't outrageously priced.
Have a good day today!
Jane
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
Originally Posted by OnceNice
My biggest problem with all of this is how I think when I'm not drinking. I know drinking is a problem for me. I know I am an alcholic. What I don't know, is when you are alone and by yourself, which I am, how to shake the anxiety. As you all know I self medicate with my drinking. That is why I want a computer so badly. So that when I'm home alone and my mind starts to freak out. I can talk to you all who do not judge me. Since having a few icky AA experience, I feel stupid going there. I want to shake that too. I also want to know if you have life outside of AA. Do you socialize with others. When I'm at work I don't want or even desire a drink. Its as soon as I get in the car to go home. I get that feeling of time to forget. I drink for a reason, which makes me a big alchy. I know.
-- so I cannot give a ton of time to AA. That being said, when I first got sober, I went to a lot more meetings than I do now. AA is not my life, but it is my life STYLE. I live life sober, I practice the principles to the best of my ability in all my affairs, and I do stay in contact with other alcoholics, that's usually a daily thing. I talk to my sponsor, or my brother, or another alkie almost every day. Oh yeah, I talk to God every day too!Buying a computer won't keep you sober, going to AA by itself won't keep you sober. Your first step is to make a decision that you will be sober no matter what, and you will GO TO ANY LENGTHS to stay sober today. Get to AA, get a sponsor, get to work on the steps. Not perfect, but to the best of your ability.
Ken
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