OnceNice

I failed. I didn't go I had two drinks and ran to the libray this is the first time I have done this.
Help me someone How did you do this.
How did you swallow your pride.
I came to the library. They only give me 30 minutes.
Anyone Anyone.

Peter

You can still go to a meeting even if you drank.

Done_With_It

Peter is right, get to a meeting. Go now before you fall any worse.

Pick yourself up and get back on track. You can do it.

OnceNice

I'm sorry everyone. I'm going to get booted off. now.
I'm so sorry. I just made a complet A#S out of myself.
I'm so stupid.
I need to stay home and away from the humane race, but I think I need you all I deep down think I need you all.
Please please don't hate me, please. I have t get off now. that's the fastest 30 minutes I ever had.

Please people did you go through this crap I'm pulling or not. Am I a lost cause. did you all do this.

Have to turn my card in now.

Thanks for listening I'M SO SO SORRY. I NEED TO JUST BE ALONE FOREVER. IM' SO SCARED.

Done_With_It

No you don't need to be alone, you need to be around people. Please go to that meeting. They can help you. Don't do this to yourself. Please just go to a meeting.

BLackshirt

You don't need alone, you need people! Real live people or people on this site, isolation is not the answer. You can do this!!!

I will add you to my prayers,
Scott

Peter

Don't despair. Get some sleep and start again tomorrow.

jlo34

AA is usually the last house on the block...meaning we've tried everything else and failed. AA is the only place that has helped me. We aren't angry or upset with you...you posting what you have reminds us of what alcoholism does. I need that reminder, else I'd go back to the insanity. When you decide that you want sobriety more than anything, nothing will stop you...no amount of fear...nothing. It takes a lot of courage to get through those doors. Keep trying...

Jen

c'est la vie

Rose,
I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you last night. You're post is stamped 2:40am (in France) and I was tossing and turning in bed about then.

I hope you took Peter's advice and went to the meeting drunk and late. Just being there will start to change your life. They won't be mad and neither will we. Like you said to me, "We need each other", so being alone isn't the best plan.

Maybe I should follow that advice and set my pride aside and go to meeting today. I haven't gone back in several weeks and I'm afraid to hear "told ya so" if I tell them I still have an alcoholic mind.

jlo34

Winelover,
No one at a meeting will tell you "I told you so". They'll be happy that you are alive and ABLE to come back to a meeting.

Jen

Little Missy

Honey, you are not a lone. I've been there. It was the people here at SR that gave me the strength and courage to make it to my first AA meeting. The people at AA will understand you, like nothing you have ever experienced before. You will find that you really are not alone when you see them with your eyes and hear their words.

OnceNice

Thanks everyone.
Please was this just as hard for you. Did you pull this kind of stuff in the beginning. I can I logically know this is wrong, but continue to do it anyway.
I was watching Oprah and they had these Teenages addicted to meth. God, I can't imagine being a child going through this.

Is it true that only 10 percent get it?
I fear I'm in the 90%.

Justme57

Hi there Rose , I am also sorry I wasnt there for you last nite, I was sleeping.

PLEASE get yourself to a meeting! We have all been where you are, the hardest thing is getting in the door. You will be fine !

Keep posting

LOVE and HUGX
Lee

Anna

Hi Rose,

Please be kind to yourself. I had a really hard time stopping because I was so afraid of what life would be like. I couldn't imagine ever being happy again. But, I did it and you can too. And, it's hard, it's really hard, but I know you can do it.

Keep posting here and let us know how you're doing.

OnceNice

I have too many threads going at once. I'm sorry. I was at the library last night and was desparate to talk and just kept starting a thread. I hope I"m not in trouble.

They only give you 30 minutes at thel library
Thank you all so much for listening.
I wish I had a computer at home so bad.
I wastes so much money on drinks and cigs. If I quit for one month I know I could afford a computer.
Its the alone part that is so hard. I'm diagnozed with depression, OCD, and the thinking is eased when I drink.
Thanks again all. I really really need to bite the damn bullet and do freaken something.
How is it that you can know something is so bad for you, but do it anyway, even if it makes you miserable. Just doesn't make sense.

CarolD

You are in no trouble with SR for starting new threads.
However...it certainly is confusing.

I was at an aA meeting when you were reaching out.

I don't concern myself with the percentages...
God and AA have made me a winner over my addiction.

Have you considered going back into rehab?

Take care...

OnceNice

Id love to go back. Its that thing called work that gets in the way. They let me keep my job the first time. I'm afraid what they would do knowing I'm going on my second time.

Justme57

Hi again Rose

I have just been reading some of your caring responses to others posts, you have been so kind to others on SR, how about being a bit kind to you now?

We are here for you , and you certainly are not in any trouble.

Please try to get to a meeting, the first one is the hardest. You mentioned being lonely, well, AA can cure that , you will have friends who understand you , and whom you can ring at any time, I found it was a huge help with my lonliness, I had NO friends at all, and drank alone after work too.

HUGX
Lee

Cap3

Alcoholism makes no sence.Has no logic.Its the insanity of doing the same things over and over again,expecting at times different results.The results remain the same.,or worse,never better.Its a progressive disease,that tells ya that your ok,next time drinking will be different,and its not.My,Feelings of remorse,bittereness,and all that stuff only changes, when the drinking stops and steps are taken for recovery.Take,Action,for recovery,and depression.!!!Many have been where your at today and have found a solution to the drinking delmia.Im one of them.My recovery is with both AA and Al-anon.My depression left when i started to live in recovery.Others have found solutions with their Doctors....There is help and hope out there.grap onto it.
Thanks for letting me share,
God Bless,and take care,
my prayers are with you.

MNGirlyGirl

Oncenice -- start over. It's okay -- no one is perfect. Hang tough!