chip

At my place of work, I found out an employee of mine was making jokes about my drinking problem. He was joking around about spiking my coffee. I called him up into my office, and told him I didn't think the joke was funny. It was difficult to keep my cool, because I was very angry at him.


I brought my face close to his, and softly told him to never do it again. He got the point (I hope). I told him I'm a very private person, and his jokes are crossing the line. Its not very nice to joke about other people's personal issues, and I told him my personal life isn't an appropriate conversation topic at the workplace.


I would have liked to take him out back and straighten him out the old fashioned way, but my HP granted me patience, tact and diplomacy this time. We shouldn't have to tolerate this sort of thing in the workplace.

Anyway, I think I handled the situation the right way (I hope).
chip

Phinneas

Yes, yes, yes and yes.

Good for you. Amazing how we can change from our old ways of doing things to doing the "next right thing." (Emphasis on right!)

Good for you.

CarolD

Chip! Hello!

I see your progressing quite well
he is a lucky guy!!!

TRISH1011

Chip....good on you.

It's hard for those to understand, who haven't been through it, that such jokes are hurtful and insulting.

Cap3

Ya done good,really great!!!!!!!!!

Sober_John

I’m glad it worked out for you Chip. And you let it be known that kind of talk is inappropriate. I am not sure what your place of work rules for handling problems with other employees. But it is a good idea for others to follow company policy.

Music

I think you handled it well. The point should be stressed though that drinking is not the issue here. People's personal lives are not the appropriate subject for the workplace.

fraankie

private, simple, tactful
well done
the only thing bugging me is
how did he find out you had a problem?


best
fraankie

chip

Fraankie-
He doesn't know I have a problem. I've never admitted I have a problem to anybody (at work). Some one else told him that I don't drink...anymore. This third party told him that I used to drink alot, then I suddenly quit. I don't think he would have made the jokes if he knew how serious this is for me.

I work in an industry where everyone drinks. People constantly think it's interesting that I choose to drink pop or juice when everyone else is drinking beer and martinis.
chip

requiredfield

Good job at handling your anger towards this person. I see growth!

To avoid resentment:

This was our course: We realized that the people who wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick. Though we did not like their symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too. We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance, pity, and patience that we would cheerfully grant a sick friend. When a person offended we said to ourselves, "This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done."

We avoid retaliation or argument. We wouldn't treat sick people that way. If we do, we destroy our chance of being helpful. We cannot be helpful to all people, but at least God will show us how to take a kindly and tolerant view of each and every one.

lulu70

Way to go, Chip!!!

Sugasnaps

I'm proud of you Chip. You handled it like a professional and a gentleman in my opinion. Good job! You showed yourself pure respect by not allowing it to go on and by the way you handled it without drama. BRAVO!

Suga

chip

Thanks for the words of encouagement.

Thanks for posting the big book reading, Requiredfeild. This same employee is a very good worker, and I do like the guy. A month ago, he confided in me that he wanted to quit drinking. I didn't talk about myself, but I offered him encouragement. His little joke might have come about because he feels awkward??? He wasn't able to go 3 days without drinking. I think the very fact that he is so interested in my personal choice shows that he is thinking alot about his own drinking.

I'm not going to get personaly involved, but I will show compassion to people who have drinking problems. If he wants to talk about himself with me, that's fine. I've drawn a line in the sand, however, which defines converation about ME as off-limits.

For now, I'm hoping this is a dead issue. Thanks again for the support!!
chip

Sheryl85

I just love watching folks grow.

You showed both maturity and wisdom in your handling of a very touchy situation. Perhaps if the man isn’t too embarrassed to approach you after his indiscretion, he might make the right decision and talk to you about his problem and ask what you did to overcome your drinking situation. Never the less, don’t be surprised if you run into him at a meeting someday. (I’ve had that happen to me…) You never know where 12-step work can show up…

Congratulations on a job well done.

Just Jake

Chip, this isn't something that should be handled alone. I've been through a harrassment trial at work 2 years ago. This one was sexual harrassment and someone lost thier job over it. Still, yours is a clear case of harrassment. The first thing you need to do is write everything down exactly as it happened including dates and times for your own personal records. You should make a copy of that and have a meeting with a supervisor and go over everything in detail explaining that it's a heads up that here was a problem but it is taken care of for now. Believe me. Document EVERTHING NOW for future reference in case you need it. You won't remember exact details a year from now when you need it he most. Been there. Not pretty. Protect yourself now.

My 2 cents,
Jake

seekingpeace

i can relate a little. the job i have now i work with the public. 2 peole that got kicked out of my outpaitent group have come in... seen me (i didn't even have a job when i was doing outpaitent) and proclaimed loudly something like "hey! it's you! are you still doing that 'thing'? wow that sucks!!! i got out out. still sober? that really sucks! i'm drinking again".....i am turnig bright red and looking for a place to hide. don't know how to deal with it. afraid if i say something like ' i'd rather not talk about it' it will get worse. luckly my co-workers pretend not to hear and haven't asked any questions as of yet. hang in there!

chip

I'm 2nd in the chain of command at my place of work, and #1 agrees that it's harassment. If it happens again, we'll fire him. He is a good worker, and he just had an indiscretion. I've been praying for him. I'm sure I scared him a bit when I called him up to the office. It can be difficult to fire somebody for personal reasons, but one can choose not to renew a contract for any reason at all. He's on contract.
chip

here somewhere

At my place of work, there are alot of drinkers too. A few times when I didn't feel like joining in all the great fun of getting drunk at work (all too common!) and someone pressures me or puts me on the spot, I try the ol' swictheroo. I've said to people: "what're you, a friggin alky or something!?" I know it's just a case of the pot calling the kettle black, but when you hold someone's feet to the fire like that, they clam up real fast. I hope this helps.