New to Acceptance and need Advice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Central NY
Posts: 3
New to Acceptance and need Advice
Hello everyone, I'm very new here. In the past couple weeks I have truly became aware that I have a problem. For the past few years I have put away, on average 1/2 a bottle of vodka (all brands, cheap to top shelf) a night. In the past 5 months or so I have been experiencing heightened anxiety, some depression and daily palpitations (the cause could be anything as I drink a ton of coffee, and am a smoker). Stress at work cannot help this either.
From what I have read so far, I suppose I am a "high functioning alcoholic". I have no need or desire to drink during the day having done so rarely, I do not become confrontational, emotional or exceptionally moody and have never blacked-out. No one has surmised that I've been drunk unless I got a little heavy-handed on the bottle that particular evening or they have actually witnessed me drink. But I have NEEDED to do it once the clock hits 6 or 7PM. On the weekends it usually starts a bit earlier.
I want to stop but going CT and counseling/rehab w/meds is really not an option right now. I'm determined at this point to begin cutting down the amount I consume day-by-day or week-by-week, I have not decided yet. What I need to know is if this approach has proven successful for anyone. Any other help is appreciated as well.
The amount of information and suppport in this community is positively overwhelming.
From what I have read so far, I suppose I am a "high functioning alcoholic". I have no need or desire to drink during the day having done so rarely, I do not become confrontational, emotional or exceptionally moody and have never blacked-out. No one has surmised that I've been drunk unless I got a little heavy-handed on the bottle that particular evening or they have actually witnessed me drink. But I have NEEDED to do it once the clock hits 6 or 7PM. On the weekends it usually starts a bit earlier.
I want to stop but going CT and counseling/rehab w/meds is really not an option right now. I'm determined at this point to begin cutting down the amount I consume day-by-day or week-by-week, I have not decided yet. What I need to know is if this approach has proven successful for anyone. Any other help is appreciated as well.
The amount of information and suppport in this community is positively overwhelming.
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,912
Welcome blackdog.
If you are talking about "tapering off" I can only give you my expeience with this approach.
Because of the intense cravings that even a small amount of alcohol can induce, "tapering off" was never a viable option for me. However that is not to say that some people cannot ultimately stop by using this method. I only know a complete cessation was the best way for me.
Only you can decide if this appoach will work for you.
If you are concerned about the health risk factors of quitting cold turkey I suggest you seek out the advice of a doctor with some experience with working with alcoholics.
Best of luck to you.
If you are talking about "tapering off" I can only give you my expeience with this approach.
Because of the intense cravings that even a small amount of alcohol can induce, "tapering off" was never a viable option for me. However that is not to say that some people cannot ultimately stop by using this method. I only know a complete cessation was the best way for me.
Only you can decide if this appoach will work for you.
If you are concerned about the health risk factors of quitting cold turkey I suggest you seek out the advice of a doctor with some experience with working with alcoholics.
Best of luck to you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Central NY
Posts: 3
Thanks for the advice Peter, i think i'm willing to give the tapering a go. If I set my mind to something, especially cutting down and quitting vices that I know will permanently damage me or kill me...i think i can succeed. The hardest battles come from within, not wanting to give your body what it believes it needs to function and hopefully by 'weening' myself off, I can psych myself to give it up entirely.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Salisbury Wiltshire
Posts: 60
Hi I'm Steve,an alkie from England..............
MOST OF US have been unwilling to admit we were real alcoholics. No person likes to think he is bodily and mentally different from his fellows. Therefore, it is not surprising that our drinking careers have been characterized by countless vain attempts to prove we could drink like other people. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.
We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals—usually brief—were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.
We are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones. Neither does there appear to be any kind of treatment which will make alcoholics of our kind like other men. We have tried every imaginable remedy. In some instances there has been brief recovery, followed always by a still worse relapse. Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing a making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic. Science may one day accomplish this, but it hasn’t done so yet.
Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic. If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right-about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!
Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums —we could increase the list ad infinitum.
We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself, Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition.
Though there is no way of proving it, we believe that early in our drinking careers most of us could have stopped drinking. But the difficulty is that few alcoholics have enough desire to stop while there is yet time. We have heard of a few instances where people, who showed definite signs of alcoholism, were able to stop for a long period because of an overpowering desire to do so
We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed.
We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals—usually brief—were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better.
We are like men who have lost their legs; they never grow new ones. Neither does there appear to be any kind of treatment which will make alcoholics of our kind like other men. We have tried every imaginable remedy. In some instances there has been brief recovery, followed always by a still worse relapse. Physicians who are familiar with alcoholism agree there is no such thing a making a normal drinker out of an alcoholic. Science may one day accomplish this, but it hasn’t done so yet.
Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to believe they are in that class. By every form of self-deception and experimentation, they will try to prove themselves exceptions to the rule, therefore nonalcoholic. If anyone who is showing inability to control his drinking can do the right-about-face and drink like a gentleman, our hats are off to him. Heaven knows, we have tried hard enough and long enough to drink like other people!
Here are some of the methods we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums —we could increase the list ad infinitum.
We do not like to pronounce any individual as alcoholic, but you can quickly diagnose yourself, Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it. It may be worth a bad case of jitters if you get a full knowledge of your condition.
Though there is no way of proving it, we believe that early in our drinking careers most of us could have stopped drinking. But the difficulty is that few alcoholics have enough desire to stop while there is yet time. We have heard of a few instances where people, who showed definite signs of alcoholism, were able to stop for a long period because of an overpowering desire to do so
doing the inside job
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: planet happy
Posts: 542
There's different levels of acceptence and it has a paridox
value.
Acceptence...at a certain level= putting on the breaks.
It allows a moment of reflection or evaluation of a current
situation or circumstance. Unfourtunately when a person
pumps pioson into one's sytem that's design for a person
not to be aware ,numb or wacked out of ones mind. A person of course
is not able to reflect or make a good judgement. Not in a healthy
state of mind. It takes something in the nature of ,Sheit hitting
the fan or a great amount of unpleasureable feelings from being numb
for a person to recognize or become aware or awaken.
However...a person can accept a situation or circumstance.
It's just a matter of CHIOCE. How much a person is willing to
give up / risk for persureable BUZZ. And of course none of us
likes to pay a traffic tickets and trys to get out of it.
Alcohol is a depressent...It's insane to make one self depress.
Unless of course...One LIkes It.
Depression or a hangover is a simple example. It's a trade off.
And of course we all cry when we loose stuff we like or worked
hard for. And we try devert attention by pionting flaws of stand
by, When we do a Doo..Doo.
It's also compounded with a pychsical, mental craving.
Plus being NUMB a person dosen't have to deal with unpleasure
feelings. Such as fear. Getting into a bar fight when you're
numb dosn't = brave nor courage . It's just being numb and making
unwise decisions. But how can you accept that when your buddies
are watching.
value.
Acceptence...at a certain level= putting on the breaks.
It allows a moment of reflection or evaluation of a current
situation or circumstance. Unfourtunately when a person
pumps pioson into one's sytem that's design for a person
not to be aware ,numb or wacked out of ones mind. A person of course
is not able to reflect or make a good judgement. Not in a healthy
state of mind. It takes something in the nature of ,Sheit hitting
the fan or a great amount of unpleasureable feelings from being numb
for a person to recognize or become aware or awaken.
However...a person can accept a situation or circumstance.
It's just a matter of CHIOCE. How much a person is willing to
give up / risk for persureable BUZZ. And of course none of us
likes to pay a traffic tickets and trys to get out of it.
Alcohol is a depressent...It's insane to make one self depress.
Unless of course...One LIkes It.
Depression or a hangover is a simple example. It's a trade off.
And of course we all cry when we loose stuff we like or worked
hard for. And we try devert attention by pionting flaws of stand
by, When we do a Doo..Doo.
It's also compounded with a pychsical, mental craving.
Plus being NUMB a person dosen't have to deal with unpleasure
feelings. Such as fear. Getting into a bar fight when you're
numb dosn't = brave nor courage . It's just being numb and making
unwise decisions. But how can you accept that when your buddies
are watching.
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Montana
Posts: 50
HI and welcome.. We were all hi functioning alcoholics at one time during the downward spirial of this disease.. Then we were all medium functioning alcoholics, then just functioning alcoholics.. Then NON functioning alcoholics. Then we just didn't gave a S*** anymore cause drinking was our #1. priority. Everything and everyone goes right out the window as we progress on..
What we drink, when we drink, where we drink, how much we drink all have nothing to do with anything.. If drinking causes us problems we have a problem.
Your wrote:I want to stop but going CT and counseling/rehab w/meds is really not an option right now. I'm determined at this point to begin cutting down the amount I consume day-by-day or week-by-week, I have not decided yet. What I need to know is if this approach has proven successful for anyone.
We hear that a lot -- getting help is not an option.. If you had cancer and needed to go to treatments or die --- would you go?? Or would that just not be an option? This disease kills thousands regularly.. There are only 3 ways out of this thing --- get locked up, get covered up or get sobered up..
As for the cutting down.. I have been sober (with AA) 25 years. I can only share my experience and observations on this matter. A non alcoholic can cut down, quit, take it or leave it --- no problems. A real alcoholic -- another story there. IF we could simply cut down or quit why would we need this forum? Or anything else out there helpful to us.. We wouldn't.. We would just all simply cut down and/or quit.. But now we are back to the non-alcoholic..
Lastly: For you and anyone else looking for an alternative way out of this deal I finally learned of one.. I watched that documentary of the GRIZZLY MAN the other night... He, himself stated he was a hopeless alcoholic and drug addict. He had tried programs and they didn't work he said. But he moved to the Alaskan wilderness with the bears and that worked - he said... So there ya go... A solution other than a program. A note here.. The guy did seem a little crazed and he did get eaten alive by a bear in the end.. But - heck - he was sober, clean and did not have to work a program.. ( smile )
Linda C. ( visit my profile and you can go to my sobriety blog )
What we drink, when we drink, where we drink, how much we drink all have nothing to do with anything.. If drinking causes us problems we have a problem.
Your wrote:I want to stop but going CT and counseling/rehab w/meds is really not an option right now. I'm determined at this point to begin cutting down the amount I consume day-by-day or week-by-week, I have not decided yet. What I need to know is if this approach has proven successful for anyone.
We hear that a lot -- getting help is not an option.. If you had cancer and needed to go to treatments or die --- would you go?? Or would that just not be an option? This disease kills thousands regularly.. There are only 3 ways out of this thing --- get locked up, get covered up or get sobered up..
As for the cutting down.. I have been sober (with AA) 25 years. I can only share my experience and observations on this matter. A non alcoholic can cut down, quit, take it or leave it --- no problems. A real alcoholic -- another story there. IF we could simply cut down or quit why would we need this forum? Or anything else out there helpful to us.. We wouldn't.. We would just all simply cut down and/or quit.. But now we are back to the non-alcoholic..
Lastly: For you and anyone else looking for an alternative way out of this deal I finally learned of one.. I watched that documentary of the GRIZZLY MAN the other night... He, himself stated he was a hopeless alcoholic and drug addict. He had tried programs and they didn't work he said. But he moved to the Alaskan wilderness with the bears and that worked - he said... So there ya go... A solution other than a program. A note here.. The guy did seem a little crazed and he did get eaten alive by a bear in the end.. But - heck - he was sober, clean and did not have to work a program.. ( smile )
Linda C. ( visit my profile and you can go to my sobriety blog )
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Central NY
Posts: 3
Thanks to everyone that has posted. The honest advice is really what I need to hear.
Linda, it's funny you mention the Grizzly Man, because there was a time when I was thinking the only thing I could do at this point was to force someone to lock me in my cellar for 28 days so I could cleanse my body of alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, etc. Either that or hike up into the mountains and not come back for a month or two...Who knows, I could have set up a camera and produced an indy psycho drama out of the footage.
I'll admit that I am sick, confused, scared, and ignorant of this disease and how hard it is to overcome because i have never tried to quit yet. I'm afraid 'tapering' it off is only going to delay an inevitable return to my regular habits once the reduced alcohol amounts become not enough and then **BAM** I'm back into the bottle.
Thanks for the welcome and again for the advice.
Linda, it's funny you mention the Grizzly Man, because there was a time when I was thinking the only thing I could do at this point was to force someone to lock me in my cellar for 28 days so I could cleanse my body of alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, etc. Either that or hike up into the mountains and not come back for a month or two...Who knows, I could have set up a camera and produced an indy psycho drama out of the footage.
I'll admit that I am sick, confused, scared, and ignorant of this disease and how hard it is to overcome because i have never tried to quit yet. I'm afraid 'tapering' it off is only going to delay an inevitable return to my regular habits once the reduced alcohol amounts become not enough and then **BAM** I'm back into the bottle.
Thanks for the welcome and again for the advice.
doing the inside job
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: planet happy
Posts: 542
You don't have to go thur it alone.
It's progressive.
Kinda like...you can't trun a pickle back into a cucumber.
I've stopped drinking for months, but everytime I started
drinking again, it got worst and worst. And my life got worst
and worst. Ever so slightly but unmanagablity started creeping in.
I thought I could drink like a gentalman again.
It just stopped working for me.
It was hard to accept, becuase of my life style and mentalilty.
The social acceptability/pressure and the stigma of being an alki is sometype
of freak.
It's just an allergy.
But if you think about it for a sec.
There's a billions things you can do without get drunk or high.
It's not even a part of my mentality, I don't think about or miss it.
Kind of like a toy that I out grew.
Millions and millions have found a way to live without alcohol.
The trick is not to stop..It's to stay stopped.
It's progressive.
Kinda like...you can't trun a pickle back into a cucumber.
I've stopped drinking for months, but everytime I started
drinking again, it got worst and worst. And my life got worst
and worst. Ever so slightly but unmanagablity started creeping in.
I thought I could drink like a gentalman again.
It just stopped working for me.
It was hard to accept, becuase of my life style and mentalilty.
The social acceptability/pressure and the stigma of being an alki is sometype
of freak.
It's just an allergy.
But if you think about it for a sec.
There's a billions things you can do without get drunk or high.
It's not even a part of my mentality, I don't think about or miss it.
Kind of like a toy that I out grew.
Millions and millions have found a way to live without alcohol.
The trick is not to stop..It's to stay stopped.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Hi there Blackdog and welcome to SR 
I too, can only speak from AA experience, as I have been sober 2 1/2 years with the help of AA.
I tried for 37 years to "taper off" numerous times , but now I know , that for me, it could never work, because i AM an alcoholic. Just one drink sets off a reaction that led to me eventually ingreasing myy intake to exactly where it was , or more. it never worked for me .
Finally, I was just so sick of the self loathing , and disgust with myself, that i sought help, and learned to just accept the fact that I Am an alcoholic, and I cant drink like other people, once i accepted that, and got on with learning to live a sober life, I felt a great relief.
I cannot drink alcohol, BUT I can do ANYTHING else in this life, and , for me, that freedom is a wonderful gift
Keep posting
HUGX
Lee
I too, can only speak from AA experience, as I have been sober 2 1/2 years with the help of AA.
I tried for 37 years to "taper off" numerous times , but now I know , that for me, it could never work, because i AM an alcoholic. Just one drink sets off a reaction that led to me eventually ingreasing myy intake to exactly where it was , or more. it never worked for me .
Finally, I was just so sick of the self loathing , and disgust with myself, that i sought help, and learned to just accept the fact that I Am an alcoholic, and I cant drink like other people, once i accepted that, and got on with learning to live a sober life, I felt a great relief.
I cannot drink alcohol, BUT I can do ANYTHING else in this life, and , for me, that freedom is a wonderful gift
Keep posting
HUGX
Lee
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