Braveheart

You are going great Sweet Thursday,
Work through each moment and treat them individually. When I get stressed I'm sure there is a little button in my brain that says "oh, have a wine, that'll fix it". Not true, the wine will do nothing. Remove that stupid little button. I think we should have a remote for that damn button.
Don't give into it cause its just bad for you.
Braveheart

Sweet Thursday

Oh I agree! It's strange how you think no one knows. And it's ridiculous how you'll go out of your way to hide the fact that you're doing it (rotating where you buy it...hiding it in drawers, etc.) But people know. That's part of the lie about alcohol. You're really not getting away with anything. The only person you're fooling is yourself.

Thank you Braveheart for your input. Yeah, stress or even strong emotions of any kind (good or bad) are big big triggers. I'm keeping an eye out for my stress button.

HAPPY FRIDAY!!!



Sober today!!!

Thursday

Sweet Thursday

If I'm not mistaken, today makes one week of sobriety.

What I've noticed since last weekend...

I've had a wicked craving for sweets and fattening foods...which I was allowing myself to indulge in. However, I realize it's not terribly wise to let that go on for too long...'cause obviously I'll gain weight. So, yesterday, I made the decision to eat healthy...really pay attention to what I'm consuming. Whole foods are prefered. Today I went out and bought some fresh vegetables, apples, Tilapia filets, and a couple of different Kashi cereals (they're high in fiber and taste good).

I think that by continuing to put the sugars and junk into my body, I'm prolonging feeling better...not that I feel particularly bad, but I don't feel so hot a few hours after I eat anything high in sugar, fat or that's highly processed. I once read something about sugars and how they factor in with recovery (like as in hindering it). Can't remember what exactly off the top of my head. It was in a book called Seven Weeks to Sobriety. Don't know how accurate that is, but regardless, it just makes sense to eat what's good for you anyway.

I really ought to do some kind of exercise as well. That part is probably still to come though. lol

Today I will work on one of the projects I have been putting off. This is about getting my life straightened as much as it is about "quitting."

Still sober and looking forward to more sober days ahead. I'm doing well.

Thursday

Sweet Thursday

Still sober.

Today was a busy and productive day. If I was drinking I wouldn't have gotten much, if anything, done. No craves. That's good.

I cheated and ate some cake though. :scratchch

Thursday

Sweet Thursday

Today is a really good day. I feel great, have lots of energy, feel positive and I'm sober. Pretty good considering how much I hate Mondays.

I think the Wellbutrin is helping.

Sweet Thursday

Two weeks as of today! I'm still dry. I'm glad I started this check-in thread for myself. In the beginning I did NOT trust myself...and having to be accountable in front of others really did the trick to get me back on track. It's working for me.

I haven't been thinking about drinking very often at all. It's interesting because even though I slipped so easily back into drinking for several months, I have found it also easy to slip back into my old mentality of the quit. Thankfully I didn't get too far from that.

Well, alrighty then!

Have a great weekend everyone!!

fighter4life

It's so wonderful to see your progression. It's very inspirational for me. I will be sober 2 weeks tomorrow. I had a very difficult Thursday and Friday. Feeling very depressed on Thursday and yesterday the urge to drink was almost unbearable. I didn't and I'm so glad. I am hoping as time progresses that my fiancee will see the changes and come home to me. He left me and took our 3 yr old son with him.. That's my accountablility. Thank you for your sharing and strength. I am right there with you. We can do this. Just feeling clear and energetic gives me continued stregth. Keep it up!!!

Sweet Thursday

Terrific! You stick with me now! I'm going to hold you to that! You're one day behind me and we're doing this together.

I PROMISE you, that it won't always be this way. I have been down this road before and it eases up with time. Hang on to your quit with a death grip. When you feel bad, get up and do something else to get distracted...however you choose to do that. If you go to AA, then go...if not, look for something to do, even if that means jog around the block. The addictive part of your brain just loves playing nasty little tricks along the way to get you to feed that beast...but don't do it! Eventually that's going to change. You have to get through this part first. This icky stuff is simply the preliminary of your quit. You're drying out... that's what you're dealing with right now. The secret is pressing forward even when you think you'll lose it. The good stuff is still to come. You'll see.

I am so sorry to hear you're going through this. Hang in there! But to answer your question...YES...when sobriety starts becoming a part of your daily life (and you won't even think about it at some point because it will just feel natural) it makes ALL the difference in the world. With the exception to some people, alcohol changes so many things about you...mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. It's a guarantee you'll see a huge difference in how you think and behave...and others around you will notice it too. You'll find yourself less anxious and depressed. You'll also deal with things that would normally upset you differently because you'll be doing it without that edge that alcohol gives you.

You can post here anytime and let me know how you're doing. That helps I think.

Keep in mind...this is a journey.

fighter4life

Thank you so much for your support and information. I am going to beat this!!!!! I want to be the self-sustaining, independent, strong woman I once was before my addiction. Hopefully as I rebuild myself, my fiancee will see the woman re-emerge that he once fell in love with. In the meantime... it's time for me to get better. How does your husband handle it? I brought it up to my fiancee so many times, that I knew it was a problem, but he said he thinks he was in denial too. I guess he just felt that he couldn't live in the chaos of it anymore. It's just hard for me to understand why he wouldn't want to be here to support me if he loves me. Maybe its because he loves me that he needs to be away so I can have the time to face it on my own and he can face what he's dealing with. Not knowing whether or not he wants to come back before he sees the "changes". He grew up in a family filled with A's & addicts... he just doesn't want it in his life anymore. One day at a time right??? It's confusing but I guess that's part of the recovery????

Justme57

Just wanted to Congratulate both of you on your sober time !

Well done

HUGX
Lee

Sweet Thursday

My husband is also a recovering alcoholic (birds of a feather huh). He had been going to AA ever since we quit together about 18 months ago. I screwed up several recent months out of that time. He, however, remained sober. The bad news is, he recently decided to stop going to AA. He is winging it. I see danger in that because he has absolutely NO support system. And that's part of the success of recovery. You need others, whether it's through AA or a group online (I strayed from my own group and got lost). I'm kind of wondering if the other shoe is going to drop soon. He's had a drinking problem for far longer than I have. So, I'm pretty concerned.

Definitely take it one day at a time. If you start projecting yourself in the future and think in terms of where you'll be down the road you'll freak yourself out. It's a daily renewal process, not to be done in chunks of time. It's too overwhelming that way. Live in the moment and deal with what's going on here, now, today.

Sweet Thursday

Thanks Lee.

convergence

Getting into a predictable routine like that is a good idea. You can track your progress that here too.

inlandza

Welldone and keep going you should be about 21 now and that means you have the key to the tea cupboard lets have cake and now is the time to start service at a F2F and we will take the keys away at your 21months.

fighter4life

Well, it's now been 17 days sober and going strong. I've recently found out that my "drinking issue" had nothing to do with my fiancee leaving with my son. He told his mother that it really wasn't bad at all and he doesn't even think I'm an alcoholic, I had some wine at night but that was it. Regardless, I'm still continuing on my sobriety. I feel better than I ever have and I like the new confidence I have. Apparently, this is more about him. He became overwhelmed with the whole family life, kids, work, spouse. He is seeing someone else and he just doesn't have the guts to admit it to me so he's trying to turn it all into his leaving as my fault. Whatever. It hurts like hell when you put your heart and soul into someone and they just suddenly leave one day with no real explanation. The hardest part is he has our son, but not for long. I spoke with a lawyer and the lawyer said the way he's gone about this is considered abandonment and kidnapping. So, his turn is coming. It'll take time but it'll happen. My bf's mother feels horrible. She's disgusted with him and how he's handled this and told me she's there for me and my daughters should we need anything at all. She told my bf that he needs to get his own place and stop acting like a child.

What a weak man!!! Can't even end this responsibly. He's a boy. Thank you all for your support. I'm staying plugged into my program. I have a whole life ahead of me. It's time to move on. I'm almost looking forward to telling my bf that I've decided I'm not going to take him back even if he decides he wants to come back. That ship has sailed. I'll never be able to trust again if there is ever a problem, he's going to run. Forget it... I deserve much better than that.

God Bless all of you!! And thank you so much. Your support has been monumental!

Sweet Thursday

Thank goodness you want to remain sober. When I read the first part I was concerned that you might think that there was no reason for you to be sober...but then I read the next part and couldn't agree with you more. This is about you and how you feel. It's your life and you can make it whatever you want it to be. I'm glad you're not willing to settle for less. Kudos.

Yep. Sobriety has a way of putting things into an entirely different light.

I've been there myself...about, oh, almost 3 years ago. It sucks, I know. I feel for you. This is something that will also pass. One thing is for sure...drinking would only compound the hurt, so you're taking this to task the right way.

I hope this gets resolved without too much difficulty. If for some reason he is only doing it to "punish" you, then he won't be interested in being a parent for long anyway...because his heart isn't in it and he's not doing it for the right reason. As you said, he's tired of the responsibility. What the heck does he think parenthood is all about? *Sheesh* (I've got 3 kids, btw....all boys lol)

Yes you do deserve better than that.

I'm glad you're still sober. You're doing the right thing. Keep at it!

fighter4life

I have to tell you, Sweet Thursday, I adore you!!! I feel, even though its only been online. I connect to you so well. I am so glad and very appreciateve of your friendship, support, and advice. I am so proud of you as well and wish nothing but the best for you. I look forward to our future sober days and the amazing lives it will bring us both. God Bless to you and your life, whatever it brings. You are a true treasure. Send me a PM if you'd like... maybe we can talk further. It sounds as though we can give each other a lot of support. ...Up to you!!

Thank you,
-C

Sweet Thursday

Fighter, thank you for your kind words. I hope you're out there doing well. I haven't been here in awhile.

I realized I need to check in though. Today makes 3 weeks sober. Not one drop. No major alcohol craves....but I sure am hungry all the time (I really hope that passes soon).

It's that sugar crave from hell you've heard tell about. I ate a package of gummi worms today....among a few other things....

Well, give me a call if you need your fridge cleaned out. haha

Stay strong and keep fighting the good fight!

CarolD

Awesome ST....

fighter4life

St... glad to hear you're doing well. It's been 22 days today. However, I am hanging on for dear life. I haven't had a real urge but from last Thursday to today has been so rough. My b/f is gone for good... it's really over. I haven't seen our son in over a week. b/f came Saturday and moved all his stuff out. He started talking about bills and putting things in my name and all that junk. He's living at his mothers for now but plans on getting his own place soon close to me so I can be closer to our son and we can still raise him together. He just said that he feels we both have so much to work on for ourselves that he feels this is the right thing to do right now.

He did say that we can't predict the future and maybe if we contiue to work on ourselves and do the best thing for the kids (our son, and my 2 daughters) that, who knows, maybe 6 months/ a year from now we'll be getting back together. Maybe not. Just not now. He said its hurting him too but the good thing is, he finally admitted that he has an addiction to weed and butts and he's quit. He said its really stressing him out but he realized through my addiction that he needs to do the same for himself and our son.

So, I have to figuere out how to get an income real quick since I left my job back in August to be home with the kids and was studying a course to work from home. I don't know if I should just focus on finishing that or get a part time job and finish it. I can only work part time because I have to be here to pick my kids up from school and be home with them. I don't know.

The other part is, my neighbors downstairs from me now know what's going on since they say b/f moving his stuff out... nosey neighbors. b/f ended up telling him why it was over... geeezzzz.. thanks a lot. So now I get the cold shoulder and judgemental looks. So humiliating. Also, my ex-husband, father of my girls knows now since b/f left... he wanted the explanation. My daughters insisted I tell him and now he's thinking about taking them away from me too...

I feel like the whole world just blew up in my face. I realized the problem when b/f left.. actually before that. I even told him how I brought it up to him so many times. He said he knows I brought it up and he thought I was going to start going to meetings but I didn't. I guess I just was looking for support from him and he never really insisted on anything. He said when he would ever try to take a drink from me or tell me to stop.. I would just yell at him and throw things or push him away so he just stopped trying. I don't even remember doing that. I never realized just how bad it was... how much I nagged and yelled at everyone. I wish I had realized what I realize now so much sooner.

In some ways I guess its a good thing he left... or the pattern would probably continue and get even worse... Could it really be worse than this???

I feel sick inside all the time. I can't eat, sleep, think... I'm numb. But I have to keep going... I need this feeling to go away. I'm on the verge of tears all the time.

I start going to therapy tomorrow. Hopefully that helps. Even my daughters best friends mother isn't letting her come over anymore and basically hates me. So my daughter is mad and has no faith or trust in my anymore. My older daughter is fine... she said she knows I made a mistake, have a problem. She believes in me and is standing by me. She even told her father she doesn't want to live with him... she wants to stay with me.

I miss my son so much.. I miss my b/f.. I'm scared,sad, confused... all wrapped up.

Well, sorry to ramble.. thanks for listening. Hope things are still well for you.