garsh

I've been sober now for 35 days (yay for me) and I've told most of the people in my life that I've quit drinking. I'm amazed that most of my friends and family had no idea I had a problem with drinking. I mentioned it in an email to one of my sisters who didn't even comment on it in her response. A few other friends said they were surprised- they had no idea. The only people who knew how bad it was were my husband and my best friend- who also has a drinking problem. A couple of my friends even gave me quizzical looks when I told them I quit and asked "Why?"

I can hardly believe that something that had such a hold on my daily life was such a secret. Like I was living in my own private hell. I guess deep down I thought people must know what a lush I was- I even worried about it. I guess not.

ASH

Hi Garsh,
Congrats on the 35 days, that is super! Also great that you have told your family and friends so they can be supportive.
Keep going,
Take care

CarolD

I think others have 2 attitudes...

Some wonder why we are making a big deal over quitting.
just as tho you said you were going to stop eating oatmeal.

Some deny your problem so they can conntinue to drink
and not see it as a problem.

Good to see you are still sober!

KelKel

Congratulations on 35 days!


Welcome back from your own private hell, boy could i relate to that.

trytrytry

I've told some friends as well. Some of them seem to suggest it's a phase I'm going through and look forward to me coming around. I think it's a sign of just how completely acceptable drinking is. It's such a part of our culture that not drinking is considered not normal. Congrats on your sober days and here's to many more...

Hope

(((Garsh)))
Congratulations on 35 days!! It is great that you now have the added support from friends and family. I know it must feel very freeing for you in many ways.

You are doing great!!

Justme57

HUGE congrats on 35 days garsh !

Great effort

HUGX
Lee

c'est la vie

This is how I feel about me. Alcohol and I have gone round and round and now I feel like I'm beaten to a pulp. It will be funny to see how my friends and family react. I'm sure they don't have a clue. I was a closet drunk. Being drunk at parties was perfectly "normal" so those times don't count and they never saw the daily drunks.

It's really courageous of you to share with everyone. I'll probably be a chicken and make up some excuse.
Thanks for sharing your ES&H.

Etimee

Sober Recovery is such a personal thing. What matters most is how We feel about ourselves all around.

Congratulations on 35 days!!!!! That's terrific. Hugs.

Etimee

michaelj

Garsh,
Your experiences may be a useful lesson to others who agonise over whether to tell family friends and colleagues about their addiction. I may be being paranoid here but when I heard people say similar things to me when I quit I began to imagine that I ddin't have the problem I thought I did. People said things like "you didn't drink that much" and so on. The truth is that I was the only one who really knew the extent of my problem, the closet drinking, the sneaking of extra refills by leaving the bottle outside the sitting room etc etc.
Well done on you five weeks, you deserve your success. Always keep in mind the true extent of your addiction.
Best wishes
Michael

miss communicat

Dear Garsh

Congrats on your sober time! That is beautiful. When my grown daughter came to visit at the holidays, i had just quit drinking (Dec1), and told her i was going to AA meetings. At first, she said, "Why? You don't drink".

After the meetings i would tell her how positive it is to have a support group, and she even acknowledged the changes in me within 2 weeks. She said, "I don't know if its AA, or just not drinking, but you really glow. You seem so serene".

Well, this admission on my part has opened channels of dialogue between us that were never open. Now, when I go visit her in her city, she looks forward to joining me at open AA meetings. There is no power greater than honesty & humility to set up conditions for growth between people, whether its a whole family, business relationship or other.

PaperDolls

Congrats garsh!

I haven't told anyone that I've quit yet. I'm sure I'd get a similar response. No one really knew the extent of it, just myself and my GF. I'll eventually tell them.....I'm working on what I'll say when they ask "why".

I'm proud of you!!

~doll

Chy

Congratulations to you, that's a huge milestone.
Yeah, people usually will go "huh?" or " yeah, sure!" ..goes to show ya how much we let it abosorb us and take over our own mental well being. Personally I thought I was going to have a huge parade with Bullwinkle balloons but it never happened.... *LOL*.. people have their own life and really unless immediate family find our "habits" insignificant.

stringer belle

i can relate totally. the only person who knew how much i drank was my fiance. when i told my parents and friends i was going into treatment their responses varied from shock to a dumbfounded "why?.." it's crazy how much of our time and energy we can invest in keeping our sickness hidden from other people. if we spend half as much time working a recovery program, we're good to go! it's a beautiful thing.

congrats on a month sober.

garsh

Well it happened again! I just got an email from a friend I get together with every once in a while for drinks. She asked me if I wanted to meet for a drink sometime, along with some other updates on her life. I emailed back updates on me and mentioned that I quit drinking, but would love to meet for a frosty soda! She emailed back "Great! Let's meet at Kinkaid's for lemon drops!" I just sat here and laughed. My comment didn't even register.

Etimee

OMG - Am I getting old...I take it lemon drops are a drink/shot/something alcoholic?

Garsh, if so, can't you recommend somewhere else?

Isn't it ironic that all over the United States there are diners owned by Greeks and there aren't any diners in Greece! I do miss a good diner.

Etimee

garsh

Yes lemon drops are definitely alcoholic. I don't think my comment that I quit drinking even registered in her brain- that's what's so amazing.

Etimee

Can you just respond recommending somewhere else?

garsh

Well, there aren't many restaurants in the area that don't have alcohol. Except maybe McDonalds. :-) I've decided I don't want to make my friends uncomfortable, and since alcohol is everywhere it's something I'll need to deal with. I've already met other friends for "drinks" and just had a plain tonic water or cranberry juice.

I also work in the hospitality industry, so am going to receptions, dinners, galas on a weekly basis, so need to deal with the reality that I can't escape being around alcohol.

Pick-a-name

Garsh..........wonderful!

I'm one of those wives that is the only one (except our older children at home) who know the true extent of AH's problem with alcohol and the effect on our family. He has now chosen to "listen" to the others...........I guess he is not ready to stop, so he is leaving us instead and we are the "bad guys" for admitting the truthat least to those who do not know any better. Of course, many if not most of them have their own issues with alcohol.

I am so happy for you to be able to get out of this hell-on-earth. I wish you much success and happiness. You do know the truth, I am glad you are able to believe it enough to act on it!