A bad weekend
 

Lets just begin this story on Thursday, is it is now (for me, at least) Saturday night. Bare with me if you want to:

Thursday afternoon: Doctors appointment. Am prescribed Ambien (for sleep), Lexapro (for anxiety and depression), and Campral (for alcohol withdrawls). Ok, I don't much like pills, but I'll give it a shot.

Friday: New meds are reeking havoc on me. I catch the flu that has been going around work. Call in - take the day off. Get a haircut, have breakfast at Denny's (hadn't eaten in days). Go to Home Depot for packing materials - more on this in a moment. Go home and pack the ex-girlfriends things for moving out. I'm running a fever, but I spend all day going around the house, cars, safes, etc. packing her stuff. She goes out of town for the weekend.

Saturday: Wake up at 7:00am to finish packing her things. Finish at 9:00am (narrow window to deliver her things to her parents house), Dad shows up, and with an unfaltering heart-of-gold, help me load her things and deliver to her parent's house. Deal with her not-biological-father's BS while there. Quick and almost painless. Go home. Meet with my ex-mother in law for lunch. We haven't spoken in almost a year - all in all a wonderful woman. She informs me that my recovered-from-meth-a-year-ago ex-wife had recently gotten pregnant (and subsequent abortion) in the last few months and wanted to know how I was doing. Wow - I was looking forward to that. Still sick. Big fever, big headache. Want a drink more than anything in the world, but won't. Thats not me anymore - I can't do it, I don't need it. But so help me God if there was something I could do to fix all of this, I would in a heartbeat.

Thank you for listening,

Josh

Wow! Be kind to yourself...drink a lot of water and rest

Hugs...

Josh,
You have been through the wringer and you didn't drink. That says it all for me. You are a star
Michael

you're my hero!!!!

Gianna

Lol! I don't know about that!

My life is still in shambels, and its difficult and painful to see it getting any better. But I have to try. SOMETHING has got to give!

My body and mind are screaming for mercy - I know I'm malnurished and probably dehydrated no matter how much water I down. Throwing up, massive diarehha.

Tomorrow I (probably) go back to work and then have an appointment with a counseler at University of Pheonix. My dream has always been law enforcement, and I pretty much need a degree to get in. So hopefully in a couple of years I've have one in criminal justice. The program is intense, but at least it will give me something to fill my time.

Thanks for listening.

*hands you some sugar water* That's good for nausea. :)

Try and get some rest and stop starving yourself. All this activity and poor eating practises isnt going to do you much good.Ask some more of your friends to help you.

The best of luck to you. I admire your drive and motivation towards getting into law enforcement. I hope you feel better soon. And...don't drink. You can get through this sober. It gets better. Do you have a recovery program?

Eating is kind of hard. But I ordered a piza and before I knew it, it was half gone. That was 2 hours ago, and I am feeling MUCH better.

The recovery support system isn't much, but its working for me. More or less, I am going it alone, but with support from my parents and doctor. I went to a couple of meetings, but did not like them too much. Everything was so negative! I'm trying to pull away from negative thoughts, and the meetings were dragging me down. Nothing at all against meetings, but I didn't do so well. Very uncomfortable.

I'm on day 7, and some of the withdrawl symptoms that I thought I avoided are setting in. How much can a human sweat?! :a102:

If at some point in the near futue, I don't blow my own brains out - it will be a miracle.

Nothing more to say tonight - other than I have placed my fate in God's hands, and have accepted my pain.
Good luck to you all - and I hope to see you all again someday soon.

Josh

Josh...
Check this out...

http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm

It will help you understand.

Stay sober..Hugs :approve:

Josh:
You've been through an amazing amount of stuff this weekend, and got through it sober... awesome!

For your body -- pick up something to get your electrolytes replaced. Maybe Gatorade, or if you have a bike shop or the like which carries Hammer Nutrition products, pick up some HEED -- or if they carry Cytomax products, pick up Cytomax -- similar to Gatorade, but they use different sugars, and have a better absorption rate than Gatorade -- but Gatorade will do....

For you mind -- find an AA meeting and go. YOu can share with other alcoholics, many who have been through similar situations as you, and you can begin to learn to live sober. You don't want to have to go through sobering up again, do you? Once is plenty for us....

Best of luck, hang in there and take it one day at a time...

Ken