The Treasure of the Past
Paused
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
The Treasure of the Past
In posting today's Daily Reflection, I got to thinking about what a good messaged it conveyed. I've been posting the Daily Reflection for sometime now and this is the first time this thought clicked with me. You can check it out in the Alcoholic Anonymous forum if you are interested. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...&postcount=417
I decided to post my views here because you don't have to be a member of AA to benefit from the insightful message given by the writer. I have expanded my thoughts with the writers.
In glancing back to my past, I can't help but refer to the many wasted years I accumulated choosing to soak my existence with alcohol. The outcome was dark, painful and often times humiliating. In search of enhancing my lifestyle, the results were quiet the opposite resulting in a haze of uselessness and despair. Many times I have regretted the lost and spoiled years I frittered away. What a shame, a shame in feeling and in actuality.
Most of us can relate to the desperate demoralization that is experienced in an alcoholic lifestyle. I can see clearly now, but was blind to the reality back then. Drinking is an illusion of hope. Whatever it was I was searching for was never found at the bottom of a bottle. What I was left with was an empty bottle or two and false hope. We all have our individual moments of horror, different, but yet so similar. The false hope is always the same.
What a gift it is indeed to recognize that the memories of our darkest hour is our most powerful tool in helping others. Reaching out with a hand of compassion is an honorable and rewarding experience, helping you, helping myself in my own recovery. It takes one to know one and understanding another's pain is a comfort to those who are still suffering and to those who are no longer suffering, but their memories remain clear and defined.
I realize my years aren't wasted years, but misguided attempts at happiness. Although lost and unbeknownst to me at the time, in actuality, I was building a valuable foundation for recovery. A foundation of Experience, Strength and Hope that I can draw from in helping myself and those in search of hope. Lord knows I don't want to go back to those hazy, lazy daze of Summer, Fall, Winter...etc. The fear of falling back into that lifestyle leaves me aware of the eminent yets to become. With that said, I'd like to emphasize that there is always hope. Even though it may not always seem so, there is a way out of the viciousness.
In summary, the treasure of the past holds many valuable items, many of beauty, some not, but still valuable in their own right. There are many treasures of hope and promise established through painful mistakes and thoughtlessness blind to the consequences of our actions. Ouch! Through the pain and despair of the past I can grow and thrive tomorrow. That is only if I am willing to live with and from my mistakes. I am getting to old and weary to not learn. I guess it is safe to say that age has its certain advantages. Wouldn't you say?
I have heard of an ancient tale of wisdom. Hmmmm... I wonder...truth or fiction? Anyone...?
I decided to post my views here because you don't have to be a member of AA to benefit from the insightful message given by the writer. I have expanded my thoughts with the writers.
In glancing back to my past, I can't help but refer to the many wasted years I accumulated choosing to soak my existence with alcohol. The outcome was dark, painful and often times humiliating. In search of enhancing my lifestyle, the results were quiet the opposite resulting in a haze of uselessness and despair. Many times I have regretted the lost and spoiled years I frittered away. What a shame, a shame in feeling and in actuality.
Most of us can relate to the desperate demoralization that is experienced in an alcoholic lifestyle. I can see clearly now, but was blind to the reality back then. Drinking is an illusion of hope. Whatever it was I was searching for was never found at the bottom of a bottle. What I was left with was an empty bottle or two and false hope. We all have our individual moments of horror, different, but yet so similar. The false hope is always the same.
What a gift it is indeed to recognize that the memories of our darkest hour is our most powerful tool in helping others. Reaching out with a hand of compassion is an honorable and rewarding experience, helping you, helping myself in my own recovery. It takes one to know one and understanding another's pain is a comfort to those who are still suffering and to those who are no longer suffering, but their memories remain clear and defined.
I realize my years aren't wasted years, but misguided attempts at happiness. Although lost and unbeknownst to me at the time, in actuality, I was building a valuable foundation for recovery. A foundation of Experience, Strength and Hope that I can draw from in helping myself and those in search of hope. Lord knows I don't want to go back to those hazy, lazy daze of Summer, Fall, Winter...etc. The fear of falling back into that lifestyle leaves me aware of the eminent yets to become. With that said, I'd like to emphasize that there is always hope. Even though it may not always seem so, there is a way out of the viciousness.
In summary, the treasure of the past holds many valuable items, many of beauty, some not, but still valuable in their own right. There are many treasures of hope and promise established through painful mistakes and thoughtlessness blind to the consequences of our actions. Ouch! Through the pain and despair of the past I can grow and thrive tomorrow. That is only if I am willing to live with and from my mistakes. I am getting to old and weary to not learn. I guess it is safe to say that age has its certain advantages. Wouldn't you say?
I have heard of an ancient tale of wisdom. Hmmmm... I wonder...truth or fiction? Anyone...?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Morning Dayz 
thank you for the post , was just what I needed!
I picked up my first drink at 21 and put it down at 57 and I often, if I am not careful, indulge in the " wasted years" syndrome!
I truly believe that my HP had to put me right where I was, at the time it was, to get me to take notice ! LOL Thats on a good day !
Other times I tend to linger in the "wasted days" mode
have a great 24
HUGX
Lee
I
thank you for the post , was just what I needed!I picked up my first drink at 21 and put it down at 57 and I often, if I am not careful, indulge in the " wasted years" syndrome!
I truly believe that my HP had to put me right where I was, at the time it was, to get me to take notice ! LOL Thats on a good day !
Other times I tend to linger in the "wasted days" mode
have a great 24
HUGX
Lee
I
Paused
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
LeeThis is something I needed to ponder today myself. I can't help but be reminded of the quote We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. Which also reminds me of those who forget the past are likely to repeat it.. Lest we forget, the results could be tragic.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Yes dayz , those are passages which linger for me too! Unfortunately my Alcoholism has caused me to lose contact with my son and my grandies, whom I love dearly, he knows I am sober , but chooses at this time to not be in contact, so the "regret " part rears it's ugly head from time to time, but as I grow in my Program, I am able to "let it go" and leave it to my HP , I am sure His timing is much better than mine.
There was a post from BMUS the other day, which nailed it for me, " do not force our own conclusions" and I need to remember that
HUGX
Lee
There was a post from BMUS the other day, which nailed it for me, " do not force our own conclusions" and I need to remember that
HUGX
Lee
body ~ mind ~ spirit
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Geelong, Australia
Posts: 582
Originally Posted by 2dayzmuse
the treasure of the past holds many valuable items, many of beauty, some not, but still valuable in their own right. There are many treasures of hope and promise established through painful mistakes and thoughtlessness blind to the consequences of our actions.
At the end of the day, it really isn't worth me pondering that question (even though I do), I can't change the past. All I can do is look for the good things, for instance I had 3 beautiful children, I learnt a few things to help my family, I did manage to get a degree in education, I learnt about pain and drama, I learnt that your health is your wealth and now I am hoping to learn more about how to help others with this challenge. So there were lessons I learned and things I accomplished.
I have to look at the bad things and regret them so I don't do them again and I can change those things in myself that need to be changed. Mainly my thinking and health habits.
Yeh, the past hey ... when I have dwelt on it I have missed out on the here and now. Thanks for the post Muse! I like that quote too "We will not regret the past nor shut the door on it".
(((Lee))), I will say lots of prayers for you and your family!! I guess you can't force it, but can you give it a gentle nudge? I know that the one sister who I had very much alienated and who I really love and appreciate was the most difficult to reconcile with. It took quite some time, but it did take communication as well. She had to hear me say nice things about her because she had a mindset about me that I found her all too boring and serious. So whenever the opportunity arose I let her know that I missed her and that I thought she was a lovely, caring, responsible person. We are close again now.
I am sure that you have tried. Time ... remember birthdays, send lovely little letters, ask for pictures of them ... Time heals all wounds, sometimes persistence pays off too.
love brigid
Member
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
Yep Brigid , I have done that, also an "ammends " letter, no response as yet , but most of the time , I am fine, just every now and again .................
I am very good at "handing stuff over", BUT I like to grab it back and give it a tweak every now and then LOL
HUGX
Lee
I am very good at "handing stuff over", BUT I like to grab it back and give it a tweak every now and then LOL
HUGX
Lee
body ~ mind ~ spirit
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Geelong, Australia
Posts: 582
(((Lee))) Really good to hear that you have done that! I have often read that you are estranged from your son and my heart goes out to you. Only thing is that we have to give these people that we have hurt and let down time, we have to give ourselves a bit of it too. Change takes time and they won't want to be hurt again.
I am sure if you just send lovely letters now, without worrying him about your struggles so much, he will be able to open up again.
I don't think my HP works all on its own. I leave it up to the HP when I can't see my way, but when I get an idea that seems reasonable, I act. Too, if I get it wrong it doesn't matter so much because it is a different wrong to my drinking, I was making an effort.
lots of love,
brigid
I am sure if you just send lovely letters now, without worrying him about your struggles so much, he will be able to open up again.
I don't think my HP works all on its own. I leave it up to the HP when I can't see my way, but when I get an idea that seems reasonable, I act. Too, if I get it wrong it doesn't matter so much because it is a different wrong to my drinking, I was making an effort.
lots of love,
brigid
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Highlands, TX
Posts: 1,192
"I can't help but be reminded of the quote We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it."
This is not just a quote, but one of the 12 PROMISES of AA. I have found it to be true. Had I not gone through the things I did I would not be able to reach out to others in the same boat. I spent a lot of my very early sobriety in regret of the past. After a thorough 4th and 5th step with my sponsor is when I began to see where my past experiences, good and bad, could help others. Gone was the shame of these events as I was able to look at them, discuss them thoroughly with someone who knew, understood and had been where I was. What happened happened. Period. I cannot change it but I CAN learn from it! And I can share my experience with others to let them know that they too can survive.
For those with strained relationships, keep doing what your doing. Reach out, make amends where you can, make living amends by not repeating past mistakes (most times this is more powerful than amends for past misdeeds) and most importantly, give it time! It may take a lot of time but I know many people who have overcome estranged relationships and regained love and trust but it didn't happen overnight. You are doing what you can and that is all you can do. You are cleaning your side of the street. Leave the rest to your Higher Power.
Great, awesome reflection! Thank you so much for sharing this!
Hugs,
Kellye
This is not just a quote, but one of the 12 PROMISES of AA. I have found it to be true. Had I not gone through the things I did I would not be able to reach out to others in the same boat. I spent a lot of my very early sobriety in regret of the past. After a thorough 4th and 5th step with my sponsor is when I began to see where my past experiences, good and bad, could help others. Gone was the shame of these events as I was able to look at them, discuss them thoroughly with someone who knew, understood and had been where I was. What happened happened. Period. I cannot change it but I CAN learn from it! And I can share my experience with others to let them know that they too can survive.
For those with strained relationships, keep doing what your doing. Reach out, make amends where you can, make living amends by not repeating past mistakes (most times this is more powerful than amends for past misdeeds) and most importantly, give it time! It may take a lot of time but I know many people who have overcome estranged relationships and regained love and trust but it didn't happen overnight. You are doing what you can and that is all you can do. You are cleaning your side of the street. Leave the rest to your Higher Power.
Great, awesome reflection! Thank you so much for sharing this!
Hugs,
Kellye
Paused
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
This is not just a quote, but one of the 12 PROMISES of AA.
The promises are a wonderful thing. (((Lee))) I'm sorry that you are estranged from your son. I know how painful that must be for you. Do not force our own conclusions. You have done your part in making ammends. It appears to me that the outcome is still up in the air. I have to believe that your son will come around to realizing how hard you have worked towards your sobriety and how wonderful a person you really are. Prayers going out to bringing families together again...
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
