I've decided to stop
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Posts: 5
I've decided to stop
I drink about four nights a week. I usually have two, maybe three, glasses of wine. I'd probably drink more if I didn't have two small children. I just can't deal with massive hangovers when I have to get up early with my children, but even with just a couple of glasses of wine, I still feel pretty toxic in the mornings. All of my responsibilities help me keep my drinking in check, or so it would seem. While my drinking isn't totally out of control, my thoughts about it are. I think about drinking all the time. I don't always succumb to the temptation, just so I can prove to myself that I have it under control. Even on those nights I don't drink, I like to have a bottle around, just in case. It's comforting to know it's there. I admitted all of this to my husband, and he suggested I try not to drink for a month. I'm ashamed to say that the thought of not drinking for a month filled me with anxiety. I suppose that's my sign that I need to stop all together. I don't even know where to start. This is day three without a drink. I'm so unsure of what I'm doing. I know it's the right decision, but I feel like somebody died. I guess I need to find myself a therapist, since I already have issues with depression. I just hate this. I hate that I think about drinking all the time. I hate that I can't drink like a normal person. I feel so antsy, and my skin is itching like crazy. Is this psychosomatic? I really didn't think I drank enough that I'd be having physical withdrawals, but physically I'm feeling just awful, almost like I have a hangover--headache, nausea, a little shaky. I keep telling myself that if I can quit smoking (the hardest thing I've ever done), I can do this. I haven't even told my husband that I've decided to quit drinking. It scares me to say it out loud.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: El Paso, Tx
Posts: 5,862
Hi Oasis and welcome!
I know that feeling still all to well. As a high functioning I kept my secret pretty well hidden from everyone but the family. I didn't go out and socialize so it was easy. But it became exhausting to keep up that life. I was so tired of the hangovers to. I was so tired of being sick. Just know sobriety is a good thing, you will have a clearer sense of self, a greater satsifaction your setting a good example to your children.
Your probably experiancing mild withdrawals which is common and it just depends on each individual. Should subside in 3-5 days. Get busy find a means of support that works for you and know your doing a good thing. The freedom from obsessing to drink will eventually be lifted and it will no longer be the priority in your life.
Good luck!
I know that feeling still all to well. As a high functioning I kept my secret pretty well hidden from everyone but the family. I didn't go out and socialize so it was easy. But it became exhausting to keep up that life. I was so tired of the hangovers to. I was so tired of being sick. Just know sobriety is a good thing, you will have a clearer sense of self, a greater satsifaction your setting a good example to your children.
Your probably experiancing mild withdrawals which is common and it just depends on each individual. Should subside in 3-5 days. Get busy find a means of support that works for you and know your doing a good thing. The freedom from obsessing to drink will eventually be lifted and it will no longer be the priority in your life.
Good luck!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to SR! Way to go on your 3 days sober,,,
You will feel better physically in another day or so.
And yes.. sounds like withdrawal.
Depression is why I began AA.
At 2/3 months sober it fled...has not returned.
Hope this will be true for you too.
Hugs to you and your family...
You will feel better physically in another day or so.
And yes.. sounds like withdrawal.
Depression is why I began AA.
At 2/3 months sober it fled...has not returned.
Hope this will be true for you too.
Hugs to you and your family...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: los angeles, ca
Posts: 62
oasis,
congrats and welcome. i think you'll find the people here to be very open, caring, and helpful. my advice for the first couple weeks is get the bottles out of the house and stay busy, do some writing, and stay away from your friends who drink (helps cut down on temptation). i can't comment on AA cause I don't participate but you may want to check it out. they have helped countless people. keep posting here.
congrats and welcome. i think you'll find the people here to be very open, caring, and helpful. my advice for the first couple weeks is get the bottles out of the house and stay busy, do some writing, and stay away from your friends who drink (helps cut down on temptation). i can't comment on AA cause I don't participate but you may want to check it out. they have helped countless people. keep posting here.
Living and Loving.
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Saratoga, California
Posts: 475
Hey Oasis, Welcome to SR!
I can relate to everything you are saying right now. I'm only 50 days sober and when I was in your spot I felt the exact same thing you are feeling now. I first logged in here in early November - 2005. I had been trying for a long time "on my own" to stop and never had success for more than a few days - sometimes a week - on one occasion 28 days even but then out of the blue I'd buy a bottle somehow thinking I'd be okay only to find shortly after getting home and cracking it open that my "only one" promise turned into "only one bottle". You have to get to the place where you are no longer fighting to be a "normal drinker" cuz ya can't. Acceptance blows... but it sounds like you are getting there. So hang in there. I didn't get it the first time I tried - I sure hope you do. You can do it.
Suga
I can relate to everything you are saying right now. I'm only 50 days sober and when I was in your spot I felt the exact same thing you are feeling now. I first logged in here in early November - 2005. I had been trying for a long time "on my own" to stop and never had success for more than a few days - sometimes a week - on one occasion 28 days even but then out of the blue I'd buy a bottle somehow thinking I'd be okay only to find shortly after getting home and cracking it open that my "only one" promise turned into "only one bottle". You have to get to the place where you are no longer fighting to be a "normal drinker" cuz ya can't. Acceptance blows... but it sounds like you are getting there. So hang in there. I didn't get it the first time I tried - I sure hope you do. You can do it.
Suga
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Welcome! You sound like you are being very proactive, which is just wonderful! 
Keep reading here - you will be amazed at the similarities and love and support...
You don't need to hit 'rock bottom'
Sober is better and alcoholism is progressive...and fatal.
AA is a wonderful way to stop drinking, make new friends, and address alot of our 'thinking' problems that go hand in hand with our drinking problems!
I'm so glad that you are here!
Well done on day 3!
Cathy31
x
Keep reading here - you will be amazed at the similarities and love and support...
You don't need to hit 'rock bottom'
Sober is better and alcoholism is progressive...and fatal.
AA is a wonderful way to stop drinking, make new friends, and address alot of our 'thinking' problems that go hand in hand with our drinking problems!
I'm so glad that you are here!
Well done on day 3!
Cathy31
x
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,525
Oasis,
Good to meet you!
What you're describing is exactly how I felt when I quit--sometimes I was absolutely climbing the walls I wanted a drink so badly, and I would pace around the house and fidget and basically "spazz out". My kids & husband probably thought I'd been inhaling gallons of espresso or something. But the truth is, IT WILL PASS and YOU CAN STAND IT. Just keep telling yourself that, and hang on! Drink lots of water, juice, & herbal teas. Allow yourself to nibble on candy, nuts, fruit--whatever you like. Hang in there!!
Have you felt better the past couple mornings waking up without having any sort of hangover?
You know, my favorite part of finally deciding to stop my relationship with alcohol (because that's really what it had become, with all the energy I put into thinking about it and planning my life around it), was the RELIEF. It feels so good when you know you've decided to quit letting this liquid run your life.
Stay around here, and maybe get hold of some good books. They'll give you something to focus your thoughts on instead of obsessing about having a drink. One book that really changed my life was Drinking - A Love Story by Caroline Knapp. I saw so much of myself in her, and it helped me to really admit that I had a problem.
Take care, and keep posting!
Jane
Good to meet you!
What you're describing is exactly how I felt when I quit--sometimes I was absolutely climbing the walls I wanted a drink so badly, and I would pace around the house and fidget and basically "spazz out". My kids & husband probably thought I'd been inhaling gallons of espresso or something. But the truth is, IT WILL PASS and YOU CAN STAND IT. Just keep telling yourself that, and hang on! Drink lots of water, juice, & herbal teas. Allow yourself to nibble on candy, nuts, fruit--whatever you like. Hang in there!!
Have you felt better the past couple mornings waking up without having any sort of hangover?
You know, my favorite part of finally deciding to stop my relationship with alcohol (because that's really what it had become, with all the energy I put into thinking about it and planning my life around it), was the RELIEF. It feels so good when you know you've decided to quit letting this liquid run your life.
Stay around here, and maybe get hold of some good books. They'll give you something to focus your thoughts on instead of obsessing about having a drink. One book that really changed my life was Drinking - A Love Story by Caroline Knapp. I saw so much of myself in her, and it helped me to really admit that I had a problem.
Take care, and keep posting!
Jane
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Posts: 5
Thanks for the warm welcome
I felt a little bit weird posting here since I haven't hit rock bottom and I know so many of you have been in situations far worse. Thank you for being so supportive.
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2005
Posts: 1,525
Oh, but it is a good thing you haven't gotten to as bad a point as some people get to.
You're after it early, and you can nip it in the bud before it gets to a horrible point! Without your addressing it now, there's a good chance it would progress to something far worse.
Have a good rest of the day, okay?
Jane
You're after it early, and you can nip it in the bud before it gets to a horrible point! Without your addressing it now, there's a good chance it would progress to something far worse.
Have a good rest of the day, okay?
Jane
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: los angeles, ca
Posts: 62
Originally Posted by oasis
I felt a little bit weird posting here since I haven't hit rock bottom and I know so many of you have been in situations far worse. Thank you for being so supportive.
body ~ mind ~ spirit
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Geelong, Australia
Posts: 582
Hi Oasis, welcome to SR. Hope you keep coming, reading and posting. I know the feeling of obsession. From my experience it didn't go away until I stopped feeding it. To do that I had to really, honestly admit to myself that I had no control over alcohol. I also admitted this to supportive people and talked a lot about my thoughts and feelings about alcohol. By being open about my decision to quit I placed more importance on it, I was just choosy about who I told.
Who is to say that this isn't your bottom? Everyone has a different bottom, depends on you.
Congrats on your decision to stop drinking!!
love brigid
Who is to say that this isn't your bottom? Everyone has a different bottom, depends on you.
Congrats on your decision to stop drinking!!
love brigid
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in a better place
Posts: 1,406
Oasis,
I responded to your other thread and had to come back to see this one. I missed it yesterday. We really are in the same boat! Feel free to pm me if you ever want to talk. I've been posting under "I want to be a moderation drinker" if you want to see where I'm coming from and what everyone has to say about that approach. I don't think anyone thinks it's possible if you're truly an alcoholic. And the big question is, "Do you really want to keep gambling to find out?"
I wish I could find the person who said something that I keep repeating to myself, "You've hit YOUR bottom when you stop digging." Are you done digging?
I responded to your other thread and had to come back to see this one. I missed it yesterday. We really are in the same boat! Feel free to pm me if you ever want to talk. I've been posting under "I want to be a moderation drinker" if you want to see where I'm coming from and what everyone has to say about that approach. I don't think anyone thinks it's possible if you're truly an alcoholic. And the big question is, "Do you really want to keep gambling to find out?"
I wish I could find the person who said something that I keep repeating to myself, "You've hit YOUR bottom when you stop digging." Are you done digging?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
Posts: 5
Hi winelover,
Yes, we are in the same boat. I read your old posts and saw a lot of myself in you, especially the taking a big swig and then topping off the glass. Still counts as one glass, right? And of course it's not a regular wine glass but a huge goblet filled to the brim! Oh, the lies we tell ourselves. Feel free to pm me anytime, too. I'm glad to have you around. Everyone here has been so wonderful.
Yes, we are in the same boat. I read your old posts and saw a lot of myself in you, especially the taking a big swig and then topping off the glass. Still counts as one glass, right? And of course it's not a regular wine glass but a huge goblet filled to the brim! Oh, the lies we tell ourselves. Feel free to pm me anytime, too. I'm glad to have you around. Everyone here has been so wonderful.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: burlington,massachusetts
Posts: 1
Congrats on getting HONEST with YOURSELF..So what if you dint tell your husband yet..You will when your ready..I like you< stopped because of the mental and emotional problems with drinking.I didnt drink everyday either..I have a 5 yr old son and I have days SOBER where its overwhelming...so give your self a pat on the back..and YES I think quittting smoking is harder..Its 5 month without cigarettes again..YOU figure most people smoke more times during the day than drinking. I smoked15 cigarettes a day I didnt drink 15 beers a day..You can do it..Especially if you want to be AVAILABLE to your kids.. nobody wants a drunk..Just take it ONe DAY AT A TIME..THE two days we should NEVER worry about are YESTERDAY and TOMORROW>..Good luck and remember you are soberright now and thats all you have to worry about is THIS MOMENT.
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