I want to be a moderation drinker
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I want to be a moderation drinker
I so desparately want to be able to drink a beer or glass of wine with my husband. My problem is that once I drink a beer, I want more, and when I have a glass of wine, I want to finish the bottle. I've posted previously about secret stashes of vodka and it's killing me not to get more lately now that I'm trying to cut down. I'm completely drunk now on wine since I've condemned vodka. I don't want to admit to being an alcoholic since that sounds like a cop-out. I just don't want to be like this. It sucks!
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Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: fumbling towards ecstasy
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Originally Posted by winelover
I don't want to admit to being an alcoholic since that sounds like a cop-out. I just don't want to be like this. It sucks!
When I surrendered and ACCEPTED my alcoholism was when real recovery happened for me. In surrender and acceptance I found relief, strength, hope and a solution.
What's it gonna be for you, winelover?
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
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Admitting to being an alcoholic is definitely not a cop-out! It's the first step toward accepting the situation and beginning to do something to take your life back.
I spent ages, years trying over and over again to drink moderately. It never worked and it was SO hard and I felt miserable. When I quit drinking, my life began to open up in a way I never imagined. When I was trying to control my drinking all I could of think of was alcohol. My mind obsessed over the whens, wheres and hows. After I stopped there were so many other things to do.
By the way, I don't want to be an alcoholic either. BUT, I'm sober and I'm SO grateful.
Please keep posting and get to know us!
I spent ages, years trying over and over again to drink moderately. It never worked and it was SO hard and I felt miserable. When I quit drinking, my life began to open up in a way I never imagined. When I was trying to control my drinking all I could of think of was alcohol. My mind obsessed over the whens, wheres and hows. After I stopped there were so many other things to do.
By the way, I don't want to be an alcoholic either. BUT, I'm sober and I'm SO grateful.
Please keep posting and get to know us!
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 16
"I want to be a moderation drinker"
Oh God, ME TOO! There is just one problem, I am an ALCOHOLIC. No matter how hard I tried or how many times I tried or how many different ways I tried, EVERY time I tried to drink in moderation, I would wind up SLOBBERING, PUKING DRUNK!!
Actually I guess I did achieve moderation drinking though, now that I think about it, my limit is 0. As long as I don't exceed that limit, I am fine.
Oh God, ME TOO! There is just one problem, I am an ALCOHOLIC. No matter how hard I tried or how many times I tried or how many different ways I tried, EVERY time I tried to drink in moderation, I would wind up SLOBBERING, PUKING DRUNK!!
Actually I guess I did achieve moderation drinking though, now that I think about it, my limit is 0. As long as I don't exceed that limit, I am fine.
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Melbourne victoria
Posts: 1,975
I started every day for 37 years , convinced that TODAY was the day I would drink in moderation.......mmmmmmmmm like many other ALCOHOLICS , for me it never worked , not once, I ended up a drunken sot, drunk dialling everyone on the planet, falling over in my own house, coming to in my drivway, not knowing wether I had come or gone. I was a very slow learner, cos it took me 37 years of trying , and much self hate and loss of dignity, self esteem, and soul, before I finally admitted I was and am an Alcoholic, and to be quite honest, it was a relief to surrender at last, AA was the answer for me.
BUT you can admit now , and save yourself the " yet to happens", it is a progressive disease, and will only get worse.
Once you have admitted it , you will feel relief I am sure , after all, you can do ANYTHING in life , except drink alcohol, that leaves an aweful lot oyu CAN do
HUGX
Lee
BUT you can admit now , and save yourself the " yet to happens", it is a progressive disease, and will only get worse.
Once you have admitted it , you will feel relief I am sure , after all, you can do ANYTHING in life , except drink alcohol, that leaves an aweful lot oyu CAN do
HUGX
Lee
body ~ mind ~ spirit
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Geelong, Australia
Posts: 582
It used to be my aim to be a moderate drinker, but it was so dam hard! Much easier for me to accept that I am an alcoholic and not drink at all. A cop out ... maybe, but I really don't think about it that way. A life saver, much easier, more peaceful and it also means that I have the chance to grow and learn and live.
Keep posting, keep reading, keep thinking. Good to have you with us!
love brigid
Keep posting, keep reading, keep thinking. Good to have you with us!
love brigid
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: canada
Posts: 170
I wish I could drink in moderation too, but I know that it is impossible.
It is your choice to label yourself an alcoholic or not. I don't think most set out in life to become alcoholics, it is a reaction in your body and mind to alcohol that you cannot ever control. Part of this reaction is the craving that you experience as soon as you take your first sip of booze, the feeling of needing more and more and more.
I'm not sure I understand why it would be a cop-out to admit to being an alcoholic. For me the cop-out was knowing that I was an alcoholic, yet refusing to do anything about it.
It is your choice to label yourself an alcoholic or not. I don't think most set out in life to become alcoholics, it is a reaction in your body and mind to alcohol that you cannot ever control. Part of this reaction is the craving that you experience as soon as you take your first sip of booze, the feeling of needing more and more and more.
I'm not sure I understand why it would be a cop-out to admit to being an alcoholic. For me the cop-out was knowing that I was an alcoholic, yet refusing to do anything about it.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to SR...
Quitting drinking was the wisest move I ever made.
I never moderated anything.... I wanted more of whatever!
Still do...
These days it is more sobriety.
Quitting drinking was the wisest move I ever made.
I never moderated anything.... I wanted more of whatever!
Still do...
These days it is more sobriety.
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in a better place
Posts: 1,406
Originally Posted by 51anna
When I was trying to control my drinking all I could of think of was alcohol. My mind obsessed over the whens, wheres and hows.
I woke up with a splitting headache and just read your posts. Thank you for your comments. This quote is exactly how I feel. It's so hard not to just give in and buy a bottle of wine. I guess I see what you mean about that being an easy way out. I'm going to try to not drink for a couple days and see how I feel. I really need a dose of willpower. Anyone know where to get some?
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Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 305
Hi Winelover,
Remembering how horrible you feel with the headache and how good you feel reading posts from people who care about you and can help you along. Which feels better, which "WILL" you want? There is always someone here who knows how you feel and can help you along. Remember that!
We can do this together.
Remembering how horrible you feel with the headache and how good you feel reading posts from people who care about you and can help you along. Which feels better, which "WILL" you want? There is always someone here who knows how you feel and can help you along. Remember that!
We can do this together.
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Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: southern U.S.
Posts: 153
Originally Posted by winelover
I woke up with a splitting headache and just read your posts. Thank you for your comments. This quote is exactly how I feel. It's so hard not to just give in and buy a bottle of wine. I guess I see what you mean about that being an easy way out. I'm going to try to not drink for a couple days and see how I feel. I really need a dose of willpower. Anyone know where to get some?
Well, somehow I found some (will power) tonight. Thought about drinking the roomate's beer (which I've done plenty in the past), and I could almost feel the conflict in my brain as I thought about whether or not I'd do it. Finally I decided not to. Though I anticipate insomnia tonight, I am proud that I found _some_ strength in resisting the booze.
good luck to you.
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: London
Posts: 53
Hi Winelover,
Whether we term ourselves alcoholics, people with compulsive behaviour toward alcohol, alcohol abusers or whatever else, one thing that seems to be common to most of us, is that we're obsessed with being able to drink normally.
I know I've tried a thousand different combinations, or ways of drinking. Maybe if I just drink this, or maybe if I eat first, or maybe if I drink this first, or maybe if I don't smoke etc ad infinitum. It's all down to this obsession about being a 'normal' drinker. Some of the people here seem to have got over this obsession, and accepted that they can never be normal drinkers. I'm still stuck in it a bit, so I know how you feel. It feels like happiness is just not possible, unless I can become a normal drinker. I know this is crazy but sometimes it seems like a perfectly logical thought.
I truly believe moderation is never going to work for me. Now if only I could capture that thought, wrap a chain around it's ankles, and lock it in a little prison at the back of my mind.
take care
Law.
Whether we term ourselves alcoholics, people with compulsive behaviour toward alcohol, alcohol abusers or whatever else, one thing that seems to be common to most of us, is that we're obsessed with being able to drink normally.
I know I've tried a thousand different combinations, or ways of drinking. Maybe if I just drink this, or maybe if I eat first, or maybe if I drink this first, or maybe if I don't smoke etc ad infinitum. It's all down to this obsession about being a 'normal' drinker. Some of the people here seem to have got over this obsession, and accepted that they can never be normal drinkers. I'm still stuck in it a bit, so I know how you feel. It feels like happiness is just not possible, unless I can become a normal drinker. I know this is crazy but sometimes it seems like a perfectly logical thought.
I truly believe moderation is never going to work for me. Now if only I could capture that thought, wrap a chain around it's ankles, and lock it in a little prison at the back of my mind.
take care
Law.
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Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: in a better place
Posts: 1,406
Originally Posted by Lawry
Hi Winelover,
Whether we term ourselves alcoholics, people with compulsive behaviour toward alcohol, alcohol abusers or whatever else, one thing that seems to be common to most of us, is that we're obsessed with being able to drink normally.
I know I've tried a thousand different combinations, or ways of drinking. Maybe if I just drink this, or maybe if I eat first, or maybe if I drink this first, or maybe if I don't smoke etc ad infinitum. It's all down to this obsession about being a 'normal' drinker. Some of the people here seem to have got over this obsession, and accepted that they can never be normal drinkers. I'm still stuck in it a bit, so I know how you feel. It feels like happiness is just not possible, unless I can become a normal drinker. I know this is crazy but sometimes it seems like a perfectly logical thought.
I truly believe moderation is never going to work for me. Now if only I could capture that thought, wrap a chain around it's ankles, and lock it in a little prison at the back of my mind.
take care
Law.
Whether we term ourselves alcoholics, people with compulsive behaviour toward alcohol, alcohol abusers or whatever else, one thing that seems to be common to most of us, is that we're obsessed with being able to drink normally.
I know I've tried a thousand different combinations, or ways of drinking. Maybe if I just drink this, or maybe if I eat first, or maybe if I drink this first, or maybe if I don't smoke etc ad infinitum. It's all down to this obsession about being a 'normal' drinker. Some of the people here seem to have got over this obsession, and accepted that they can never be normal drinkers. I'm still stuck in it a bit, so I know how you feel. It feels like happiness is just not possible, unless I can become a normal drinker. I know this is crazy but sometimes it seems like a perfectly logical thought.
I truly believe moderation is never going to work for me. Now if only I could capture that thought, wrap a chain around it's ankles, and lock it in a little prison at the back of my mind.
take care
Law.
Wow!! I feel this way too. It really is amazing to think that there are people out there that feel as messed up in the head as I feel. I just think I'm crazy most of the time. It's comforting to know I'm not alone.
body ~ mind ~ spirit
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Geelong, Australia
Posts: 582
Originally Posted by winelover
Wow!! I feel this way too. It really is amazing to think that there are people out there that feel as messed up in the head as I feel. I just think I'm crazy most of the time. It's comforting to know I'm not alone.
I know all about behaving when out and then coming home and letting go.
Well, I moderated for a time, then my last ever drinking episode happened and that was just so disgusting and revolting. I regret that one and all the other indignations that my drinking put me through. I went to a wedding, wasn't going to drink, then I was just going to drink light beer, then they put scotch on the tables ... crap!
I was just saying to my husband the other night how there is no way I would ever gamble with my sobriety again, there is no way I would go back to that torture in my head. The ONLY way for me to find happiness has been to admit that I am powerless over this chemical and quit. It is not the third drink or the 23rd drink, it is the first drink that is the problem for me.
Glad to see you here Lawry, wren and winelover! Keep reading and posting!
love brigid
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Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
When it comes to mood changing substances, I don't know how to do them moderately.
I tried. Oh man, did I try...
Having said that, it apparently is doable, although I suspect that for some of us, it's simply more grandiosity to think we can return to some kind of healthy alcohol consumption levels.
http://www.moderation.org/
A good test of sorts, I'm told, is to not drink for a period long enough to detox your body. A week perhaps, who knows... And then, have one glass of wine. One.
And see how much of the remainder of the day is spent obsessing about the rest of the bottle. No better indicator as to whether one has a drinking problem or not, really, than the amount of time spent thinking about alcohol.
Best of luck, winelover.
I tried. Oh man, did I try...
Having said that, it apparently is doable, although I suspect that for some of us, it's simply more grandiosity to think we can return to some kind of healthy alcohol consumption levels.
http://www.moderation.org/
A good test of sorts, I'm told, is to not drink for a period long enough to detox your body. A week perhaps, who knows... And then, have one glass of wine. One.
And see how much of the remainder of the day is spent obsessing about the rest of the bottle. No better indicator as to whether one has a drinking problem or not, really, than the amount of time spent thinking about alcohol.
Best of luck, winelover.
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