GshizzleA

i dont know what to do, im so scared. its like im consciously drinking more and saying '******* quitting, this is is something i want to do.' but i dont know anymore. thinking about it too much just makes me want to go get more vodka. and its weird cuz im meeting a lot of nice new guys that are sober and work out and are healthy, so its not like im only around drinkers, but i consider the sober people kinda lame and boring. like wow we'll go to a movie and talk. who cares! drinking is making me a mean spirited depressed person, i think u guys know what im saying. this really bites

cleaninghouse

First, WELCOME! You are among friends and people just like yourself.

I remember that feeling well, your not crazy, it just feels that way!

The GREAT NEWS is there is a soloution and YES you really can stop drinking, that's a fact and there are lots and lots of people here that are living proof.

How long have you been drinking? Do you consider yourself an alcoholic?

GshizzleA

i dont drink daily or in large amounts
but i definitely need to feel a buzz, a strong buzz at least once a week

FriendofBill

Sounds like quite a torment.

I would suppose that when one side of the tug of war yanks you really hard, you will come to accept what inside you might already know what you need to do.

I can only say that I am sorry for your pain. Keep coming and posting here, listening to the wise words of the recovering people here, and be open to thier ideas.

Good luck!

CarolD

Hi glad to see you again!

It's good to see you finding non drinkers...and yes...they bored me too when I was still drinking.

They got more interesting after I sobered up as my mind cleared of alcohol.
My perception altered.

Perhaps that is the key?
I do think it helps so much to find a program for support.

Hugs,,,

brigid

I didn't value my sober friends and family enough until I sobered up!! In fact I dissed them so bad over the years I lost a few of my really close ones that I really loved ... and there is no going back to some things.

Be careful, my experience has led me to be cut off from some really good things in life. The promise of alcohol and those "fun", "out there", "amazing" times is empty and for me it has been heart breaking. I don't miss the adrenalin rush any more.

The simple things in life are often the best. Without alcohol I prefer the company of those sober, nice people ... much less complicated ... and they happen to be genuine, they know their feelings towards me ... they don't like alcohol more than me.

Keep posting, keep trying! Don't let alcohol fool you.

love brigid

Music

Make a choice. Drink or don't drink. Then go for it like your life depends on it.

michski

Yeah I understand. Don't ever forget that alcohol is a major depressant. All I wanted to do was drink myself to death. That's how depressed I was. Sounds like you need to take a break from your poison and get a clearer view on things... Give it a shot. It's not like the liquor stores are gonna dry up! They'll be there always ready to help you climb back in the dark dank hole we call alcoholism....

Chy

Well it's up to you. You've tried moderation, you've tried brief abstinence, you've tried indulging, you went back to moderation and it appears your still not sure. You know the answer, it's just a matter of when your ready. Yes, it sucks.

NoMoBeer

Music -- it does.

mikee

Moderation for me was like a drunk looking for a place to happen.
hang in there one day at a time

2dayzmuse

It sounds like you want to quit but you don't know how. You are doing all you know, drinking and drinking more. Torn between drinking and not drinking you will continue to drink unless you do something about it.

Your post reminds me of the progression of alcoholism. It only gets worse unless you put an absolute halt to drinking. From the title of your post it appears to me that you aren't ready to quit yet. If you were ready, you wouldn't desperately want to continue. I learned that the hard way. I wish you the best and hope you find recovery through a program.

Ngokpa

Hey, I didn't even admit I had a problem; I just knew my life was a disaster area. They said ninety meetings in ninety days; in sixty I was convinced, and not because of what anybody said.

The compulsion is chemical. If alcohol doesn't convince you, withdrawals will.

chuck

yes,i consider myself an alohlic

dancinggirl

Hi Chuck and Welcome!!! It looks like this thread was actually from two years ago, but so glad you posted! I know that everyone on this site would like to get to know you better and anything you'd like to share. There's a button on the top of these screens that says "new thread"...if you'd like to start a topic or even just discuss something you're feeling, feel free to post!

Tazman53

Welcome to SR Chuck, for me being able to admit that I am an alcoholic was a begining, the next thing I needed to do was become willing to do what ever it akes to get and stay sober.

Glad you are here, start a new thread to introduce your self properly.

Boleo

My sponsors sponsor says all addicts have a blown insight circuit in their brain. It is not enough to THINK about what we need to do. We also have to do things (faith without works is dead) that let our non-thinking self know what we really-really want. The tool that works best for this is humility.

In the philosophical context, humility is synonymous with teach-ability. The old adage, “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks” is commonly used among Doctors, Psychiatrists and Psychologists. So much so, that it is a rule of thumb in some circles. The exception to this rule is humility. It is easy to see why the Romans saw meekness as having a cleansing effect on the human soul. It, in effect, turned meekness into a “Tabula Rasa” (clean slate) allowing new knowledge to be written on the blackboard of the soul