jpeace2

...or am I just nuts?

I'm in a weird place today, it's hard to describe really. Not depressed, not sad, but not quite right either. It's one of those too much alone time with myself days, which I self-imposed because I took a sanity week off from work to get myself back together this week due to major burnout (not booze related, long story). I have a little over 4 months sober, the longest time I have had in years. I should be writing to try and get through this, that's what works the best for me, but I found myself online today and just haven't been able to wrench away from the computer. I did talk to a couple Naranon buddies today although I haven't called my sponsor yet. (I am in that fellowship as well as AA). I don't have an AA sponsor yet but am in the process of deciding that I would feel more comfortable with a "double winner" sponsor who is also in both fellowships. Still thinking on that.

I don't have a craving to drink per se, as in wanting alcohol, but I have found myself drinking everything in sight today--by that I mean diet soda, bottled water, Crystal Light, not booze. The last couple weeks at work were extremely stressful also and I found myself doing the same thing with coffee....just cup after cup after cup, way more than I usually drink. Again, no noticeable cravings for alcohol, so it wasn't a conscious "substitute" but it still puzzles me.

I don't feel like I WANT to drink and don't think I am going to, and I'll probably go to the meeting here tonight if there is one, just to make sure, but for some reason, my constant drinking of non-alkie substances today is bothering me. Anyone have thoughts or experience with this?

CAPTAINZING2000

I call that winter


Can't think of very many people I know in recovery that don't really suffer from the winter blues. It's really bad living in a rural area like I do. It's limited on any place to go just to get out of the house.I haven't even been using my tanning bed of late. I need to start.


Now's a good time to plan a winters vacation if, you can plan one at all.

My son and his wife are expecting quads this summer. I'm not going to have any extra vacation time on that account.

You have a gymn or, a y you can join any classes to get you out of the house?

jpeace2

Hmmm...that's odd....I actually always LIKED winter. I'm a runner although I've been benched for the last two years with recurring injuries, and this is my favorite time to run. I get that bluesy thing in the summer, believe it or not, because I LOATHE heat and humidity and it's very sticky here in PA in the summer. But, I noticed a lot of other things have changed since I sobered up, so perhaps that has also.

I do have a decent library of DVDs-kickboxing, etc that I could pop in to work out here, and I do belong to a gym with a pool, so I really have no excuse there. I actually got up last night around midnight and worked out a little since I couldn't sleep, and I did feel better afterwards. I should probably get off my azz and go do that now.

PS---QUADS!!! Wow, y'all are gonna be BUSY!! How cool is that?

laurie6781

Part of it may be the "winter blues, however you did say "The last couple weeks at work were extremely stressful also ".

I would suspect that what you are feeling is "LACK OF CHAOS" and we alkie/addicts have a hard time with that early in sobriety. We function in chaos with adrenlin pumping and all of a sudden there is a "calm" WOW what do I do now? lol

I remember those times very well. Also, most people do not realize it but we can dehydrate in winter too, sometimes faster than summer with the heat on in our homes.

So, yes, drink plenty of water, go for walks, go to a gym, find a good book to read, take a nice relaxing bubble bath.

Enjoy each day, and slow down analyzing and it will pass in no time!!!!!

JMHO

Love and (((((to all))))),

Justme57

Hi jpeace

I am sorry you are having a blah day, i know that feeling , just plain restless irritable and discontent for no particular reason. This too will pass! lol

About your drinking anything to hand, have you had a medical checkup since you stopped drinking? Sometimes the lack of alcohol in our systems, can cause our blood sugars to swing , and if you BSL is ^ your thirst could be attributed to that , worth checking out

Is there any reason why you may be dehydrated ? That is another thought

HUGX
Lee

draven85

I get this way a lot. some days i love my life, job, accomplishments, salary, personality, looks, ect. some days i just think about how im not happy with each of those things. its weird because i know i could be so much worse off. i think the best thing to do is pray for all the good things God has given us and try to get busy.

Justme57

Did I just read QUADS!







HUGX
Lee

CarolD

I drink constantly......but

these days it's not alcohol.

I have been sober for years...
I just like to drink!

Sober Mike

don't worry...we've all had days like you are having right now. I shared what you wrote down in a meeting and was told by several others that maybe I'm feeling serenity. Wow!!! That kind of blew me away. Cause I never felt serenity before and maybe this is it: not depressed, not sad, just being me, nothing pulling at me emotionally or physically. It's really weird at first, like you are saying, but when you feel it again, it gets cooler and nicer and more comfortable. Just be grateful about your non-desire to drink alcohol, that's a cool feeling too.

get a sponsor, or call someone else in the program who might help you get a sponsor.

You're right where you supposed to be in recovery right now!!

Mike

sugarssweetpea

Think about how much you used to "drink" when you were drinking. I have been sober for almost 4 years (Feb 16) & I still consume at least 80-100 ounces of fluid a day. You have to find other things to replace that compulsion. I believe that we have behavioral compulsions as well as addictive ones. For me, anyway, I found that I drank for other reasons. Have an addictive personality therefore, NOTHING is in moderation. Alcohol, acid, cocaine, mushrooms, cigarettes, caffeine (used to sleep with a liter of Mountain Dew by my bed), pot. When I quit all of the above, I had to find something to replace it with, so I turned to food. Now I am working on that one with being 110 lbs overweight. Take into consideration how long you drank as opposed to how long you have been sober. I think that we will finally feel normal when the sober years surpass the drunk years. Things sometimes feel weird for me, but in a good sort of way. Not drinking is weird if you look at today's society. We are the ELITE. We are special ~ in a wonderful sort of way. Things seem different because they are. We can now actually know what it is like to have to respond to different situations in our lives with our minds, not a controlled substance. It will take a little time to get used to, but it is beautiful.

I wish you all the best & a very thought filled 2006.

CAPTAINZING2000

It wasn't the humidty it was your body pores tryin to get rid of the booze



yeah quads

Sugah

I hear you on the hot & sticky PA summers and empathize....I would like 70 degrees with relative humidity...but, alas, I digress.

I can totally relate to the drinking-even-if-it's-not-alcoholic behavior.

Almost ten years ago, I made a conscious decision to stop drinking alcohol and only do drugs (sound weird? made perfect sense to me then). But, I found, I was so used to always having a drink in my hand that I developed a major soda/coffee/tea/water thing. I always had to have something in my hand. Even while drugging it, I recognized it as an alcoholic habit. It used to drive my ex mad.

Three years into recovery, I still have that habit. I just finished a cup of coffee, and I immediately opened a diet coke. When I go to bed at night, a soda or bottle of water goes with me. I could be five minutes from turning in, and if I finish my drink, I grab another. Now, if I wake in the middle of the night, which I do quite often, I usually won't drink my soda because it's flat...but it has to be there. One of my vehicles has a really shakey drink holder, but I'll still take a soda and risk it spilling, even if I'm just headed in town for a meeting or to school....where I'll leave that soda and grab a fresh drink inside (oh...I have to have a bottle of something in class).

I'm aware of this as a compulsive behavior. I've gotten better...I don't chug anymore, and one bottle of soda or water might last me through two fifty-minute class periods, where a year ago, I had to budget my ten minutes between classes so that I could a) smoke, b) get a fresh soda, and c) go pee from all the liquid consumption.

There may be more hardline views on this, and I may be totally off base, but if there's not alcohol in my glass or bottle, I'm not going to lose sleep over it (except, of course, to get up and pee in the middle of the night....a side-effect of all this liquid consumption!!). I will say that in ten years of drinking as much as I do, I haven't floated away yet.

If it doesn't affect you physically, you're not gaining piles of weight, getting too wired from caffeine, or see it otherwise making your life unmanageable, I wouldn't worry about it. Of course, that may be me justifying my own behavior

Peace & Love,
Sugah

laurie6781

I too did that Sugah in the early years of sobriety but it settled down and was no longer necessary for me to have something available to drink at all times.

Then, 6 years ago I was diagnosed with diabetes, and now once again I have water with me constantly only now it is a MUST. lol It seems diabetes is also more prevalent in alcoholics than in the "run of the mill" population. Oh well.

I certainly get more than my "daily requirement" of water these days, rofl.

Love and (((((to all))))),