Karol221

But I did go to the bar, too. I got home pretty early and stared at the Cost Benefit Analyst sheet, but didn't do anything with it.

Drencrom

Well, anything is better than nothing I suppose

NoMoBeer

We don't use Cost Benefit Analysis sheets in AA -- why not give AA a shot?

If you don't like it, we'll gladly refund your misery....

Ken

daddysgirl29

Ummmm.....you still don't WANT to get sober, do you?

Not to be mean, (since I've only been sober one month and I'm still very humble), but I doubt you'll get much sympathy from anyone if you keep posting and not "doing". They've seen/heard it all, believe me.

NoMoBeer

True, sobriety doesn't just happen -- whether we want it to or not.

It takes work -- daily, sometimes every minute. We don't get sober by osmosis, or filling out a cost analysis spreadsheet.

Every time I stacked my will power up against alcohol -- the alcohol won. I had to find a power greater than myself to solve my problem. Period.

I did all the spreadsheets -- I realized how much money I spent on beer, going out to dinners because it meant I could drink even more. I took all the tests -- just to prove I might be an alcoholic. But I just kept drinking and drinking....

Here's the formula I use for change:

1. Be Willing (Step 1)
2. Change Beliefs (Step 2)
3. Make a Decision (Step 3)
4. Take Action (Steps 4-11)---> Results ---> Faith (Step 12)...

Whether you use a program like AA, SMART, whatever -- you must go through the formula (for me it's using the 12 steps of AA, for others maybe not) one way or another, ESPECIALLY taking action...

I'll get down from my soapbox -- but Karol -- keep doing what you're doing, and you'll keep getting what you're getting.

If I want something I've never had, I must do something I've never done...

We're all here to help... but you've got to make the choice.....

bartender129

***sigh***

Just make sure you bring a receipt. “We” don’t do refunds without one.

Hi Karol,

If you are interested in some of the techniques found at SMART Recovery, the CBA is a great place to start. The trick is to be very honest when filling out and try not to omit any costs or benefits.

Some good thing to ask yourself when doing one are:


COST/BENEFIT ANALYSIS
1.What do I enjoy about my addiction, what does it do for me (be specific)?

List as many things as you can that you liked about whatever you are/were addicted to.
a. Where possible, find alternative ways of achieving the same goals.
b. Recognize positive thinking about the addiction as a potential relapse warning sign.
c. Realize that there are some things you liked about the addiction you will have to learn to live without.
d. List what you enjoy about your addiction so you can ask yourself if it is really worth the price.
e. Realize that you aren't stupid; you did get something from your addiction. It just may not be working on your behalf anymore.

2. What do I hate about my addiction, what does it do to me (give specific examples)?

List as many of the bad, undesirable results of your addiction as you can. Here it is extremely important that you use specific examples. Specific examples have much greater emotional impact and motivational force!
a. Ask yourself honestly "If my addiction was a used car, would I pay this much for it?"
b. Review this list often, especially if you are having a lot of positive, happy thoughts about all the great things your addiction did for you.

3. What do I think I will like about giving up my addiction?

List what good things you think/fantasize will happen when you stop your addiction.
a. This provides you with a list of goals to achieve and things to look forward to as a result of your new addiction free lifestyle.
b. This list also helps you to reality test your expectations. If they are unrealistic, they can lead to a disappointment based relapse.

4. What do I think I won't like about giving up my addiction?
List what you think you are going to hate, dread or merely dislike about living without your addiction.
a. This list tells you what kinds of new coping skills, behaviors and lifestyle changes you need to develop in order to stay addiction free.
b. It also serves as another relapse warning list. If all you think about is how much life sucks now that you are not doing your addiction, you are in a relapse thought pattern that is just as dangerous as only focusing on what you liked about your addiction.

This is not a do once and forget about it exercise. It is an ongoing project. Most people simply can't remember all of the positive and negative aspects of addiction and recovery at any one time. Furthermore, seeing all the negative consequences of addiction listed in one place is very powerful. On the positive side, no one really knows what they like or don't like about living free of their addiction until they have done so for some time. I know of people who continued to add items to all four questions for a full 6 months.

Justme57

Hi karol

You know , must say I agree with NMB

No matter WHICH recovery programme you choose, it DOES require action.

Sobriety does not happen by osmosis, you can post and read, and download forms, to your hearts content, but YOU have to DO SOMEthing with it all.

You have to WANT to stop drinking, or at least to try,and that that wont happen in a bar'

It is YOUR choice Karol, but we are here to support you , once you have made your choice

HUGX
Lee

eire rose

Hi Karol

Sorry to hear that you fell off the wagon, its easy to say "screw it" and go to the bar. I have done it many times, keep trying you'll firgure it out eventually.

Love, Rose

Sheryl85

A friend of mine with 32 years of recovery gave me a “Four Point Formula” to incorporate into my program.

1. Recognize the problem.
2. Become willing (…to deal with the problem)
3. Find the formula (as in working a particular step on it, using those worksheets you were talking about, talking to a counselor to plot a course of action, etc.)
4. Action, action, action! (Get your rear in gear!)

I don’t know what fellowship you are working with, but everyone who has suggested “action” is right. I also don’t know if you believe in a HP, but it’s my own personal experience that God rewards honest effort, not wishful thinking. (The only way I can get “goosed” by the Holy Spirit is to get off my fanny.)

Keep us posted on how you are doing...

Don S

Oh, I think Karol and any other newcomer will get plenty of sympathy! Most of us went through a long spell (or two or three...) of ambivalence before we made a commitment to abstinence. And I, at least, really 'wanted' to get sober for awhile without really knowing how. So I don't think there's much to be gained from questioning someone's intent or desire. It's the resolve that takes effort, and knowing the tools takes practice.

Not singling you out, daddysgirl! I admire and congratulate you on your month of sobriety. And thanks for posting.

Nice outline, Ken!
Not necessary in my case:

Karol221

Thank you all for your comments and suggestions. Bartender, thank you for your input. I printed out your post to keep with my work sheet.
I appreciate the everyone's sentiments and opions. I have tried AA and it just didn't *fit*. I checked out all the links in the alternative links thread and something about SR just seemed to make sense to me. But, then, I'm agoraphobic and, for the most part, don't leave the house except for work and the corner tavern, which is why it was such a big deal for me to get to the bank, cleaners, service station and store yesterday. I tend to work better alone and am very much a *list* person, so the worksheets appeal to that side of me...
One day at a time!

NoMoBeer

Thanks, Don -- I didn't mean "faith" in the way you are thinking I might have.

When I say "faith," I'm talking more about faith that taking actions will lead to results if that makes sense, so I guess it's more like:

Take Action --> Get Results --> Faith (that it works) --> Take Action.... etc.

If I could make it look more like a "loop" or cycle , that's kind of the idea...