I need your help?
 

I know that I should probably be on the Family and Friends page but I think you guys can help me a little more. My hubby (I believe) has a drinking problem. And I am not here to bash anyone for there drinking behaviors. I want to learn about what your reasons and thinking behind it all. Did something cause you to start? What did it take to realize that this wasn't the life you wanted. I am just wanting insight so that maybe I can figure out what to do next without my marriage falling apart. He drinks daily, goes to work, he seems pretty functional but as I have been told it progressive so this may just be the start. I am worried about his health. We have a 2 year old and I do not want her to grow up around this. He did and seen way to much as a child. I know that I CAN NOT convince him to change or stop him. He has to do that. But I want to have as much knowledge as possible to deal with this. He tried to quit a month ago but it only lasted 4 days. He had convinced himself liquor made him mean NOT BEER. So he started drinking beer again. Slowly but surely we are back to the liquor. Do any of you suggest going to an AA meeting and sitting in? Is that possible? I just need KNOWLEDGE. So please help. Thank YOU!!!

I would suggest that you take care of yourself. Figure out what to do next to help you and your son. There's lots of support and information in the Friends and Families Forum here at SR too.

I wish you well.

Hello....:09:

Alcoholism is a disease. I suggest you get more factual info

My favorite 'handbook' is "Under The Influence"
and it has a sequel..."Beyond The Influence"

Both can be ordered from Amazon...less than I spent on a nights drinking!

Hipe you find peace...try Akanin fir yourself.

I suggest you go to the Stories forum for oodles of our tales. ...including mine! :18:

Kelly-
I am an alcoholic with some young children. I had to realize I needed to stop for myself before I would stop. It sounds like he is aware of his problem, if he tried to stop once before. AA has some "open meetings". Anybody can go to these to get information Perhaps you and him could sit in on an open meeting?

Otherwise, I'd recommend that he see his doctor, and talk to the doc about drinking.

I found out that "functional" is only a phase for an alcoholic. Before I quit, I was merrily dancing the line between functional and dysfunctional.

I hope you hubby can get better. It is a disease, and it is progressive. The only cure seems to be abstinence. AA is one option which can really help.
peace be with you, and your family.
chip

I dipped way past that line. Didn't really notice that I had before it was to late. I was heading towards my bottom that took years to finally reach. Functional turns to dysfunctional in an eerie way.

Drinking excessively is a sure sign something is wrong. Alcoholism doesn't require a set of situations to happen. It happens over a period of time and is progressive. Meaning that it never abates in it's skill to kill. It's very slick and cunning, even when you least expect it. Talk to you husband and bring him online here. He may be the one that needs the answers. Some people realize before it's too late (dead) that alcohol will bring them down. I was one of the lucky ones and got the help I needed. An education on why I drank like I did was key for me. Ya know, neurotransmitters and all that sort of stuff........=) Hope that helps you some into the insight of the alcohoic mind. It's not pretty at times, but neither is on your knees begging to die........Been there and done that......... There is hope and there is life after the drunkeness wears off........... OH and the two year olds......Ha,Ha, aren't they just great.....So full of life and wonderment.......=)

Hi Kelly!! Welcome to SR!!

I admire you for researching this disease. It will help you to better understand him. That's what my husband did. He also goes to al-anon and attends open AA meetings with me. Al-anon will teach you how to live a happy life despite the turmoil his drinking causes. It is very important for you to take care of yourself and your child. Make sure you are safe!! During active addiction, we can destroy everything in our path.

Yep, read the books suggested. May want to take a look at "To Wives". It's a chapter in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous. (most libraries have one).

My light bulb to quit drinking took a while to come on!! Almost dieing didn't keep me from picking up a drink. Yeah, I quit for a year, then started back drinking more then ever. Progressive disease!! Even when WE DON'T DRINK it still progresses!!

It's funny now. My husband would come home every night and say, "What happened today that you need to drink about." And I would give him a list (justifications) of good or bad things. One day he came home and said the same thing. For some reason, I thought about it. I didn't have a reason. That's when I realized I had a problem. That simple, one day it clicked!!

Most alcoholics drink because they don't know how to handle life and emotions. Alcohol is but a symptom, we have a living problem!!

If drinking causes problems in his life, then he has a drinking problem. Only he can decide if he is an alcoholic and he has to stop for him.

I feel for you. It is terrible what we put our loved ones through. Just know that it is a disease. That there is HOPE!!

May he find his way!!
Prayers for you and yours,
Missy

You are more than welcome to attend any "OPEN Meetings" of Alcoholics Anonymous but if you really want "knowledge" on how best to help yourself find the nearest 'Alanon" meeting to you.

Welcome to the forums.

First and foremost, please look after yourself. My experience with alcohol and alcoholics is that they tend to rub off on everyone around them, influencing thinking and actions more than is realised. A rational, balanced sober mind is an almighty asset in life and family. You may just lead the way to sobriety by going this way and trying to find as many answers as you can. Don't forget alanon!

love brigid :)