January 1
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 7
January 1
I would appreciate advice on my continuous "comprimising"..one more day...first of month, first of week, when I get my daughter (divorced so sometimes she is w/dad)...Now it is Jan 1.
I keep telling myself to stop now but we all need start dates. Every time I go a day I can't help feel Jan 1 would help me more since it is a date I absolutely will not comprimise on...however trying to quit now is not working.
I went 45 days last Jan...I don't intend on screwing this up this time.
I keep telling myself to stop now but we all need start dates. Every time I go a day I can't help feel Jan 1 would help me more since it is a date I absolutely will not comprimise on...however trying to quit now is not working.
I went 45 days last Jan...I don't intend on screwing this up this time.
1000 Post Club
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Recoveryville, USA
Posts: 1,297
Thats your diseased thinking talking....trying to rationalize that one more day is ok to not being sobriety.
Its wrong. You know it wrong, but your listening to it.
This is the only day your guaranteed to be alive. Yesterday is past, tomorrow isnt here yet, and all youve got is this day.
Make it the most important day youve ever had.
Its wrong. You know it wrong, but your listening to it.
This is the only day your guaranteed to be alive. Yesterday is past, tomorrow isnt here yet, and all youve got is this day.
Make it the most important day youve ever had.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
The only difference between January 1 and today is seventeen days.
You'll still be there come new year, and if you drink 'til then, chances are the reasons you're drinking will not have been addressed in any way allowing a decent shot at sobriety. On the contrary, there will be that much more alcohol leftovers in your system for you to deal with during initial withdrawal.
However, if you're using this time for a tapering down of your intake, there might be some positive side to all this. I was never able to control or taper down, so I don't have any advice about that really.
Welcome to SoberRecovery
You'll still be there come new year, and if you drink 'til then, chances are the reasons you're drinking will not have been addressed in any way allowing a decent shot at sobriety. On the contrary, there will be that much more alcohol leftovers in your system for you to deal with during initial withdrawal.
However, if you're using this time for a tapering down of your intake, there might be some positive side to all this. I was never able to control or taper down, so I don't have any advice about that really.
Welcome to SoberRecovery
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Hi...I read your earlier post about your Faith.
I too am a Christian.
I missed the Christmas spirit and celebration of His birth when I was drinking.
I felt unworthy.
How awesome to honor Him sober!
Blessing...
I too am a Christian.
I missed the Christmas spirit and celebration of His birth when I was drinking.
I felt unworthy.
How awesome to honor Him sober!
Blessing...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 7
Thank you for your help. I am just in this perpetual mind war on rationalizing. I know it is because i'm too new into this. I just had good results last year on the Jan 1. Believe me, I have read this board and done my personal mental/spiritual/physical/moral inventory and know its time to stop just need that "Day" with no turning back. I rationalize the mOndays, tuesdays, this or that..
its an excuse i know that I year to get "over the hump"....
its an excuse i know that I year to get "over the hump"....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 7
Carol, thanks for your post. Your are SO CORRECT! Hense my guilt. BTW, I do have faith but my post kinda was all over the place on that other thread..I sometimes don't put into words what I really am trying to say..didn't mean to sound hypocritcal As long as I drink I am definitly that...so forgive me.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
I know I said I'd take a break from SR, but I've got to post here....
Danielle:
You sound so much like the voices in my head used to sound, it's scary.... I'll quit Monday, I'll buy a new bike and quit then, I'll start working out then quit, I'll only drink 6.... I'll quit January 1st!
Sorry, but you cannot read the SR board, do an inventory and expect to be sober.
Here's my advice -- go to AA, get a sponsor and work the steps. The 12 steps were written in that order for a reason -- that's how they work. Sorry to sound harsh, but you can believe in God, think you have taken an inventory, go apologize to some folks, and wish yourself sober, but that's not the way it happens (IMHO)...
Please -- don't count days, don't wait, and don't endanger yourself or others over the holidays....
Most importantly -- you have to WANT to be sober, pretty much more than anything else.
Hang in there, no matter what course you take...
Ken
Danielle:
You sound so much like the voices in my head used to sound, it's scary.... I'll quit Monday, I'll buy a new bike and quit then, I'll start working out then quit, I'll only drink 6.... I'll quit January 1st!
Sorry, but you cannot read the SR board, do an inventory and expect to be sober.
Here's my advice -- go to AA, get a sponsor and work the steps. The 12 steps were written in that order for a reason -- that's how they work. Sorry to sound harsh, but you can believe in God, think you have taken an inventory, go apologize to some folks, and wish yourself sober, but that's not the way it happens (IMHO)...
Please -- don't count days, don't wait, and don't endanger yourself or others over the holidays....
Most importantly -- you have to WANT to be sober, pretty much more than anything else.
Hang in there, no matter what course you take...
Ken
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,912
Procrastination seems to be a common character defect in alcoholics. It certainly was one of mine.
What better way to procrastinate than to put off our quitting date.
In the time continuum Jan 1st is just another day.
What better way to procrastinate than to put off our quitting date.
In the time continuum Jan 1st is just another day.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Cincinnati, OH
Posts: 7
Nomobeer...thanks I will definitly do that. I have never been to a meeting and think it is time. I guess what has stopped me is someone on this board I respect alot couple years back when I was "hangin out" for awhile told me many AA meetings have forgotten what it is about and ends up being a whine fest, pity party or groupie hang out of who can shock who on funnies. He said the original intent was to "work" the steps and few do anymore. I happened to agree and didn't want to take time to just vent. I do feel confessing and sharing makes one feel better but doesn't get one sober if that is all you do. Sometimes even reading this board I get depressed and WANT to drink!
The other reason is I also believe it does take ME to quit eventually..God has given me that choice. Painful as it may be it really is just "stopping".
The third reason, is embarrassment. Seeing people that may know me, time...I am diovrced with a child and work full time..on nights I have my daughter it is impossible to go. I also don't want to rely on "meetings" as a trade off "obsession".
But I agree with you the success rate is awesome and I need to do something.
The other reason is I also believe it does take ME to quit eventually..God has given me that choice. Painful as it may be it really is just "stopping".
The third reason, is embarrassment. Seeing people that may know me, time...I am diovrced with a child and work full time..on nights I have my daughter it is impossible to go. I also don't want to rely on "meetings" as a trade off "obsession".
But I agree with you the success rate is awesome and I need to do something.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
Not sure if the success rate is awesome (many on this board will show you how low of a success rate has ;-) -- but it does work if you work it....
It's too funny -- I can totally relate to how meetings and this board used to make me WANT to drink. But looking back it was really just me being a drunk and manipulating my own mind into drinking... Alcoholism is 'cunning, baffling and powerful...'
And in a sense, yes it does take "you" to quit -- but it's more "you" doing the work needed to maintain sobriety. It's doing God's will instead of your own, and the 12 steps are designed as an action plan to keep us sober...
Don't be embarrassed, those who see you in the meetings are just like you, and we hold anonymity near and dear.... I am very private about my recovery, and there are only a select few who know -- others just think I "don't drink," and that I did it for my health.... well, that's true anyway, they just don't know the depths of it, nor do they need to....
Keep posting questions -- it's important to learn here, but please don't discount the meetings -- it's where we come together to share, learn and grow... please PM me if you ever have questions....
Ken
It's too funny -- I can totally relate to how meetings and this board used to make me WANT to drink. But looking back it was really just me being a drunk and manipulating my own mind into drinking... Alcoholism is 'cunning, baffling and powerful...'
And in a sense, yes it does take "you" to quit -- but it's more "you" doing the work needed to maintain sobriety. It's doing God's will instead of your own, and the 12 steps are designed as an action plan to keep us sober...
Don't be embarrassed, those who see you in the meetings are just like you, and we hold anonymity near and dear.... I am very private about my recovery, and there are only a select few who know -- others just think I "don't drink," and that I did it for my health.... well, that's true anyway, they just don't know the depths of it, nor do they need to....
Keep posting questions -- it's important to learn here, but please don't discount the meetings -- it's where we come together to share, learn and grow... please PM me if you ever have questions....
Ken
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: TX
Posts: 542
Danielle
I can relate completely with you. I did this over and over. I wanted to quit. I wanted to be a better husband and father. I wanted to be healthy. I wanted to wake-up and not feel like crap. I wanted to start serving God again. I spent three years doing youth ministry. I walked away from the ministry and God and I walked straight back to that old bottle. I hit the booze for just over a year this time. I would plan on quitting time and time again. There was always something coming up, a trip to the beach, a trip to ride the river, a party, a stressful day at work, me and the wife got into a fight, one of my kids got in trouble at school. I was always going to quit after this or that. Finally my wife said "you know every time you start talking about quitting you find something that is coming up where drinking will be envolved and use that as an excuse to keep drinking." I hate it when she is right. I could always find a reason not to quit. When I put it down Nov. 27th of this year my wife was shocked. After all I had a good excuse now with the holidays coming up. I had to except that I am an alcoholic. I can not control myself with alcohol. I will never quit if I keep waiting for the right time to quit. My wife, my children, my life, and my relationship with God are my reasons to quit. Good luck with however you plan to do it. If you quit today or wait for Jan. 1st it is my prayer that you will put it down and never pick it up again.
I can relate completely with you. I did this over and over. I wanted to quit. I wanted to be a better husband and father. I wanted to be healthy. I wanted to wake-up and not feel like crap. I wanted to start serving God again. I spent three years doing youth ministry. I walked away from the ministry and God and I walked straight back to that old bottle. I hit the booze for just over a year this time. I would plan on quitting time and time again. There was always something coming up, a trip to the beach, a trip to ride the river, a party, a stressful day at work, me and the wife got into a fight, one of my kids got in trouble at school. I was always going to quit after this or that. Finally my wife said "you know every time you start talking about quitting you find something that is coming up where drinking will be envolved and use that as an excuse to keep drinking." I hate it when she is right. I could always find a reason not to quit. When I put it down Nov. 27th of this year my wife was shocked. After all I had a good excuse now with the holidays coming up. I had to except that I am an alcoholic. I can not control myself with alcohol. I will never quit if I keep waiting for the right time to quit. My wife, my children, my life, and my relationship with God are my reasons to quit. Good luck with however you plan to do it. If you quit today or wait for Jan. 1st it is my prayer that you will put it down and never pick it up again.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Lakeside OH.
Posts: 62
There's no better time to quit than the present.So let's go for it.If 1 AA meeting doesn't suit you try another one.Keep going till you find one your'e comfortable with.
What are you afraid your going to miss by quitting now.Is that Jan'1st at 12:00 p.m. Or after the hangover.
Bob
What are you afraid your going to miss by quitting now.Is that Jan'1st at 12:00 p.m. Or after the hangover.
Bob
Been there and done.
Join Date: May 2005
Location: West Coast North America
Posts: 269
I think the "January 1" Plan is a lie told to you by the disease.
My disease is my companion but is also a liar. My disease will tell me anything to keep me drinking. Even tells me "I promise you can quit on this particular date, as long as you keep drinking NOW." I fell for that one a few times. And of course my disease betrayed me.
My disease is my companion but is also a liar. My disease will tell me anything to keep me drinking. Even tells me "I promise you can quit on this particular date, as long as you keep drinking NOW." I fell for that one a few times. And of course my disease betrayed me.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Minneapolis MN
Posts: 404
I put off my qutting date for many years. I was the KING of rationalizing my drinking (I work hard, I have a good job, I drink a lot, but not as much as that guy, and on and on and on)
Finally, when I became brutally honest with myself, and I wanted to be sober more than anything else - I took action. Hang in there - you can do this.
JMHS
Finally, when I became brutally honest with myself, and I wanted to be sober more than anything else - I took action. Hang in there - you can do this.
JMHS
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: New Orleans, LA
Posts: 9
Well, I was gonna do Jan. 2nd, but this morning, i changed my mind. Just for this hour, day, or few mimites, I choise to be sober. I am tired of making a drunk fool of myself. I have waisted almost 9 years of my life. I've tried to quit many times over the past 5 years. Now is the time for me. I accept the fact that I am alcoholic. I accet the fact that denial is a big part of my problem. I accept the fact that I have to do it now. There is no waiting. I've had enough of my destructive lifestyle.
Good luck and you are not alone.
Rebecca
Good luck and you are not alone.
Rebecca
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Quitting drinking has to start with an honest desire to quit, accompanied by the commitment to do "whatever" it takes to quit. When the desire came to me, it wasn't of my "will" as I'd stopped for periods of time many times. I tried to not drink as much, or to only drink this or that, and only on certain nights of the week. None of that stuff worked. The day I quit, I went to a meeting, got a sponsor, and started doing what he told/suggested that I do. It's been working since then an so far today.
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