already drinkin
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: toledo ohio
Posts: 16
already drinkin
gosh! i cant believe it. i am already back to drinkin. there is something wrong with me. i had poepl over tonight and i tried for so long to obstain. i let in....it just sucks i really wanted to do good! im getting married and im worried my fiance doesnt realize i still have problems. i was sober for 6 months so he proposed. im back at square one but in worse shape. any one relate. im sorry to post this crap!
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Well...it's not the end of the world...Hugs
We all drink until/unless we learn how to stay sober.
AA meetings are where I learned that I had a choice.
Start again tomorrow on your sober time.
We all drink until/unless we learn how to stay sober.
AA meetings are where I learned that I had a choice.
Start again tomorrow on your sober time.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,432
Hang in there, draven. If we've been drinking heavily for a long time, most of us find (unfortunately) that it's easier to choose to drink than it is to choose not to drink. So we know that you want to quit. Now you just need to learn the tools to make that happen.
Most people who quit drinking do some or all of the following things:
They make a firm commitment to abstinence. Sometimes they tell people about that decision; either a few trusted friends or family, or people like us on forums, or people at a meeting.
They make changes in their day-to-day lives to help support that decision. That means that if they went to bars, they stop doing that. They stop going to the places where they used to drink most often. They change their routine so they don't miss the daily drinking rituals that seem to happen at certain times of day.
They plan for situations where drinking might occur, figure out what they're going to do or say, have an alternative drink on hand, make plans with a non-drinking buddy to go with them and have an exit strategy.
Sitting there while other people are drinking is a quick way to persuade yourself that you're the only one not having fun. So plan an activity, get up and go somewhere, break the routine, do something different.
Be patient with yourself. You're learning some new behavior, and it's less comfortable than the old behavior was. So that can take time. You're not back at square one. You're closer to that firm commitment, and you just need to practice not drinking.
Take care, and keep posting,
Most people who quit drinking do some or all of the following things:
They make a firm commitment to abstinence. Sometimes they tell people about that decision; either a few trusted friends or family, or people like us on forums, or people at a meeting.
They make changes in their day-to-day lives to help support that decision. That means that if they went to bars, they stop doing that. They stop going to the places where they used to drink most often. They change their routine so they don't miss the daily drinking rituals that seem to happen at certain times of day.
They plan for situations where drinking might occur, figure out what they're going to do or say, have an alternative drink on hand, make plans with a non-drinking buddy to go with them and have an exit strategy.
Sitting there while other people are drinking is a quick way to persuade yourself that you're the only one not having fun. So plan an activity, get up and go somewhere, break the routine, do something different.
Be patient with yourself. You're learning some new behavior, and it's less comfortable than the old behavior was. So that can take time. You're not back at square one. You're closer to that firm commitment, and you just need to practice not drinking.
Take care, and keep posting,
body ~ mind ~ spirit
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Geelong, Australia
Posts: 582
This is not crap, keep posting. There is already the experience of six months sober that you have and lately there is more.
Just keep building on those things, Don's post has some great suggestions.
love brigid
Just keep building on those things, Don's post has some great suggestions.
love brigid
NOT EVEN 1 CLUB!!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: When I find myself, I'll let you know!
Posts: 1,835
Hugs to you!! The disease of alcoholism is always waiting to make it's move on us!! Jump up and dust yourself off!! Today is a new day!!
Keep posting, we're here for you!!
Missy
Keep posting, we're here for you!!
Missy
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Ga.
Posts: 133
Hey drave!
I dont mean ta scare ya, so please dont be.
Its prob too late now but starting a standard relationship with secrets
is hard enough, and well starting a NEW life with someone "marriage"
is just too important to hide things like this, But to keep it from eating
at you later mabe see if he is willing ta have just a toast of wine or sompin
with ya, that way he knows U drank sompin. and if not, well just put
or leave yesterday behind caz as far as I know, the time machine hasnt
been perfected yet and we still cant change tha past, as bad as we want
to sometimes, we just cant. So go ahead and mark that up as experience
and stay sober from now on, That would be a great way to start the 2 of
your new lives together.
I believe U can do it and I believe U know U can as well.
GOOD LUCK on lifes new journey.
Hope this helps U cuz we all need help from time to time.
holla
Its prob too late now but starting a standard relationship with secrets
is hard enough, and well starting a NEW life with someone "marriage"
is just too important to hide things like this, But to keep it from eating
at you later mabe see if he is willing ta have just a toast of wine or sompin
with ya, that way he knows U drank sompin. and if not, well just put
or leave yesterday behind caz as far as I know, the time machine hasnt
been perfected yet and we still cant change tha past, as bad as we want
to sometimes, we just cant. So go ahead and mark that up as experience
and stay sober from now on, That would be a great way to start the 2 of
your new lives together.
I believe U can do it and I believe U know U can as well.
GOOD LUCK on lifes new journey.
Hope this helps U cuz we all need help from time to time.
holla
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: toledo ohio
Posts: 16
Thank you for all of the support. At first this morning I was like why did I post that, however your words help me. I am glad I posted, and I appreciate your help. I'm very good at beating myself up and I need to let it go this morning and start fresh. I didnt have an exit strategy since people were at my house I felt trapped. Don you were right and I could think of a million excuses to leave my house today however last night not a single one came to mind. I even went to a meeting yesturday morning and it still got to me that night. Next time I will make different desicions about the situation I put myself in and have an exit strategy. I really wanted to stay sober and I even poured my drink and walked away from it and thought about it for like 40 minutes. I was like just go pour it out, no go drink it, its just one, which turned into several!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: toledo ohio
Posts: 16
I ended up having a conversation with my fiance last night and told him the way i was feeling and what i had done. i know in my first post it kind of seemed as though i was hiding it from him, but i am very open with him. he just doesnt truely understand me and the disease.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 872
Hey, great job being open with your fiancee.
I've learned in the program that I cannot expect others to understand my disease, that's my job and my responsibility... (me speaking of course)...
Great that you attend meetings, but that alone won't keep you sober.
My suggestions:
1. Keep going to meetings...
2. Get a sponsor if you don't already have one, a temporary one is fine...
3. Get to work on the steps. Don't wait. Remember, it works if we work it...
You were pretty damned honest in your posts, and that speaks volumes for your character. Continue to be honest, most of all to yourself -- "to thine ownself be true."
You don't HAVE to drink any more... learn to live happily sober with AA...
Ken
I've learned in the program that I cannot expect others to understand my disease, that's my job and my responsibility... (me speaking of course)...
Great that you attend meetings, but that alone won't keep you sober.
My suggestions:
1. Keep going to meetings...
2. Get a sponsor if you don't already have one, a temporary one is fine...
3. Get to work on the steps. Don't wait. Remember, it works if we work it...
You were pretty damned honest in your posts, and that speaks volumes for your character. Continue to be honest, most of all to yourself -- "to thine ownself be true."
You don't HAVE to drink any more... learn to live happily sober with AA...
Ken
Naps are good.
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 181
Hang in there Draven! Today is a new day. I like the things that everyone has said to you, especially NoMoBeer's thoughts on the honesty within your posts. I think that's really awesome too!
I know how you feel.... I quit for 4 years and have been drinking for 1 1/2 yrs now and trying to quit again. I have 6 days sobriety now.
When I first got married (17 yrs ago) my husband knew I had had a drinking problem but I don't think either one of us recognized just how bad it was because I could quit for months at a time while I was in college. (Every now and then i had to sober up to keep my grades marginally acceptable).
Also my husband came from an alcoholic family (his father was a heavy drinker and was verbally and even sometimes physically abusive). I had no idea at the time that it is common for children of alcoholics to marry alcoholics. The two of us have learned a lot over the past 17 years believe me! We went through 3 marriage counselors until we found someone (our pastor and counselor) who could help us. We've been doing better for about the past 5 years. The first 12 were rough and I'm not kidding.
Save yourself some heartache if you can and start getting counseling right away, or maybe your fiance could attend a few al-anon meetings just to see what he's in for. The more you learn about each other now the better off you will be. It's easier to deal with these things while you are madly in love and you don't have to worry about kids yet. Your fiance may have problems of his own that even he is not aware of yet. For example, we found out just how controlling my husband could be when I started to have a slip. There were times when I felt like he became the parent and I was the child. He developed certain characteristics from growing up in an alcoholic home. Heck he had to to survive I guess. What I'm trying to say is that the two of you will have a lot of growing up to do together. But that's okay!!!!
I wish you both the best and will pray for you!
Maybe this slip-up happened for a reason. maybe there are things you need to deal with or face? Maybe, like me, it's going to take you a little longer to really learn that you have a drinking problem.... or problems when you drink. Whatever you want to call it, it still becomes a problem.
Sorry to ramble so long! I just felt that I could really relate to your story. I sobered up before I got married too!!! I made sure I refrained from alcohol other than a tiny sip at the wedding because I was terrified that I would get wasted and do something stupid and emmbarrassing at my own wedding! That was 17 years ago......... and I just got drunk last Monday. geez - somebody hit me over the head!!!
Keep posting on SR and sharing with us.
love, Texas
I know how you feel.... I quit for 4 years and have been drinking for 1 1/2 yrs now and trying to quit again. I have 6 days sobriety now.
When I first got married (17 yrs ago) my husband knew I had had a drinking problem but I don't think either one of us recognized just how bad it was because I could quit for months at a time while I was in college. (Every now and then i had to sober up to keep my grades marginally acceptable).
Also my husband came from an alcoholic family (his father was a heavy drinker and was verbally and even sometimes physically abusive). I had no idea at the time that it is common for children of alcoholics to marry alcoholics. The two of us have learned a lot over the past 17 years believe me! We went through 3 marriage counselors until we found someone (our pastor and counselor) who could help us. We've been doing better for about the past 5 years. The first 12 were rough and I'm not kidding.
Save yourself some heartache if you can and start getting counseling right away, or maybe your fiance could attend a few al-anon meetings just to see what he's in for. The more you learn about each other now the better off you will be. It's easier to deal with these things while you are madly in love and you don't have to worry about kids yet. Your fiance may have problems of his own that even he is not aware of yet. For example, we found out just how controlling my husband could be when I started to have a slip. There were times when I felt like he became the parent and I was the child. He developed certain characteristics from growing up in an alcoholic home. Heck he had to to survive I guess. What I'm trying to say is that the two of you will have a lot of growing up to do together. But that's okay!!!!
I wish you both the best and will pray for you!
Maybe this slip-up happened for a reason. maybe there are things you need to deal with or face? Maybe, like me, it's going to take you a little longer to really learn that you have a drinking problem.... or problems when you drink. Whatever you want to call it, it still becomes a problem.
Sorry to ramble so long! I just felt that I could really relate to your story. I sobered up before I got married too!!! I made sure I refrained from alcohol other than a tiny sip at the wedding because I was terrified that I would get wasted and do something stupid and emmbarrassing at my own wedding! That was 17 years ago......... and I just got drunk last Monday. geez - somebody hit me over the head!!!
Keep posting on SR and sharing with us.
love, Texas
Straight shooter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Pontiac, Michigan
Posts: 30
Originally Posted by draven85
gosh! i cant believe it. i am already back to drinkin. there is something wrong with me. i had poepl over tonight and i tried for so long to obstain. i let in....it just sucks i really wanted to do good! im getting married and im worried my fiance doesnt realize i still have problems. i was sober for 6 months so he proposed. im back at square one but in worse shape. any one relate. im sorry to post this crap!
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