Five

Where the hell are ya!!?????

Come on: earth calling (((((((((((((((((((((door knob))))))))))))))))))))))))

Really hope your okay pal.

Autumn

Once in awhile, I see him here lurking in the night.

Next time, I'll send him a pm.

doorknob

Hi Mill,

Thanks for asking about me. I had some internet/computer problems and used it as an excuse to go back to my old ways of medicating every feeling of distress; smoking pot every waking hour, which makes me unmotivated and my mind cloudy, and drinking a few beers with it for good measure. I'm not sure why I keep coming back, considering that I haven't been making any effort to become abstinent again. SR is addictive too I guess.

Five

Great to hear from you Nob, but sad also about the pot and beer.

I dont really know what else to say mate - but dont refrain from posting, surely!

Autumn

Hey DK.... I'm glad you're back and posting. I think you left not too long after I got here.

I thought of you sometimes. There was one time in particular, on the subject of doorknobs and HPs in the AA forum.

Are you and your girl still going to karaoke? I remember you posting about it at one time, and saying you were hanging out with the non-drinkers there.... is it still not a problem for you?

Are you deciding on, thinking about, or working any particular program? Even AA?

Well, I'm really happy to see you back and posting, instead of lurking in the night.

Don't give up, okay? Keep posting - you've got some pals here. This is the second thread I know that Mill has started for you....

doorknob

Thanks Autumn. Glad you're doing well.

That gets suggested often. To me that seems more nonsensical than what it's replacing.

We hadn't been going for a while. It starts at 9:30 - 10:00, not much earlier than my usual bedtime, and is a 20 mile drive if we want to go on a weeknight when you can actually get some turns!

This whole issue is really frustrating for me, and getting seriously old. For myself, I feel that face to face support is the most important component of any plan for sobriety. However, I am at odds with most AA beliefs. Things that most AA's consider "truths", I simply don't believe in, ie. the existence of a theistic god and all that entails. And most discussions in AA are in relation to this belief, if not the central theme. It makes it extremely hard to relate and share, which is why I'm there in the first place. So, my AA attendence is usually sporatic, depending on if I feel it is helping me or hurting me. Sometimes it's really 50/50. Online helps, but I need more. Plus, I get incredibly addicted to online participation, and sometimes end up ignoring things worse than when I'm drinkin' and smokin'. Although.., it's much healthier and much cheaper. What things are helping you?

I doubt I'll ever give up completely. I figure periods of abstinence are better than nothing at all.



DK

CarolD

I too am glad you!

When I missed you here
I thought you were being SMART

Hugs...

brigid

Hi DK,

I think you are right. I did periods of abstinence before finally quitting.

love brigid

Autumn

You're welcome! Well, if I dare not measure beyond not drinking, then I am doing ok by that.

I understand. I think it's great though that you're going; I'm not. You have a much better chance of meeting up with like-minded people who face the same issues, you know? 50/50 is ok. At least you get something out of the meetings, if not believing in a theistic God is your only issue with AA. I have some hang-ups about that, but I am not in a position to definitively say God doesn't exist. No one is. I think there's a website for AA agnostics, and maybe a meeting in your area. Also, have you checked to see if there's any SMART meetings near you? The closest one to me is about a 40 minute drive, but I plan to check it out one day soon. Aye. As far as not taking a drink, that's been my conscious decision all along, and unwavering.... it's how I allow my brain to process my thoughts. But I also think it's a gift that I stopped when I did.

It is through SR that I have learned the importance of recovery, and the different options available. I'm going through a very difficult time trying to piece it all together. Yes, they are. You're doing what you are able to do right now, which is all anyone can ever do until we learn better. Eventually you will, as long as you don't stop giving up.