Back and drunking
1 bite&all resistance crumbles
Join Date: Oct 2004
Location: IRELAND
Posts: 2,208
Richey
Can you please remember where you live!!! In the UK...there is TONS and I mean TONS of support that is not AA related if that's what you have a problem with
All you need to do is pick up the phone and ask for help. If you're not ready fine, but IF you are...well you could be admitted immediately for free into an NHS rehab facility.
But...they'll want you to stick sober and work on recovering...is that what you want?? Cause you are one of the very fortunate UK residents who have (despite all the b!tching that goes on) a fantastic FREE healthcare system...where else in the world does one get that to the extent that it's in the UK.
SO! Grab hold of that or continue to wallow.
I hope you choose to grab it.
Cathy31
x
Can you please remember where you live!!! In the UK...there is TONS and I mean TONS of support that is not AA related if that's what you have a problem with
All you need to do is pick up the phone and ask for help. If you're not ready fine, but IF you are...well you could be admitted immediately for free into an NHS rehab facility.
But...they'll want you to stick sober and work on recovering...is that what you want?? Cause you are one of the very fortunate UK residents who have (despite all the b!tching that goes on) a fantastic FREE healthcare system...where else in the world does one get that to the extent that it's in the UK.
SO! Grab hold of that or continue to wallow.
I hope you choose to grab it.
Cathy31
x
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: London, UK
Posts: 358
Originally Posted by Cathy31
Richey
Can you please remember where you live!!! In the UK...there is TONS and I mean TONS of support that is not AA related if that's what you have a problem with
All you need to do is pick up the phone and ask for help. If you're not ready fine, but IF you are...well you could be admitted immediately for free into an NHS rehab facility.
But...they'll want you to stick sober and work on recovering...is that what you want?? Cause you are one of the very fortunate UK residents who have (despite all the b!tching that goes on) a fantastic FREE healthcare system...where else in the world does one get that to the extent that it's in the UK.
SO! Grab hold of that or continue to wallow.
I hope you choose to grab it.
Cathy31
x
Can you please remember where you live!!! In the UK...there is TONS and I mean TONS of support that is not AA related if that's what you have a problem with
All you need to do is pick up the phone and ask for help. If you're not ready fine, but IF you are...well you could be admitted immediately for free into an NHS rehab facility.
But...they'll want you to stick sober and work on recovering...is that what you want?? Cause you are one of the very fortunate UK residents who have (despite all the b!tching that goes on) a fantastic FREE healthcare system...where else in the world does one get that to the extent that it's in the UK.
SO! Grab hold of that or continue to wallow.
I hope you choose to grab it.
Cathy31
x
Last time I had to self injure to the point of needing a bood transfusion to get into the NHS hospital for rehab!
Where do you go...who do you ask? I got told I'd have to wait MONTHS by my doctor!
Been there and done.
Join Date: May 2005
Location: West Coast North America
Posts: 269
Richey,
You are right: there are ways to find help outside of AA. AA is just the most well known. I know not everyone would agree with me on this, but I see AA as a way of people working to help eachother find the resources inside themselves to get well. The way out is to find the strength inside yourself. There are different ways of doing that.
AA certainly has helped many people save their lives. Don't get bogged down in these statistical arguments. There is VALUE in the program. Don't get freaked out by the stuff that doesn't work for you -- try to focus on the stuff that does work for you, and if you get more value from another program: cool -- do that one. The best part of AA from my perpsective is that it has helped many people, it is very accessible, and it's free. Those are pretty big pluses.
Personally, I have gotten the most value out of individual therapy, I guess you could say that it was pretty much CBT-ish. Groups help but the individual work helped me a lot, with drinking and other stuff too that probably helped drive the drinking. I was able to cover a lot of ground. That was a path out of hell that worked for me.
It's pretty clear that, like me, its not something that you are going to work out on your own.
I don't want to assume, but if you don't believe in a higher power you might not believe in an afterlife or reincarnation. If that's the case, then this life is all we have. Not really that many years when you think about it. Why not get all that's coming to you, have as many years as you can, and live them as fully as you can.
Might as well.
You are right: there are ways to find help outside of AA. AA is just the most well known. I know not everyone would agree with me on this, but I see AA as a way of people working to help eachother find the resources inside themselves to get well. The way out is to find the strength inside yourself. There are different ways of doing that.
AA certainly has helped many people save their lives. Don't get bogged down in these statistical arguments. There is VALUE in the program. Don't get freaked out by the stuff that doesn't work for you -- try to focus on the stuff that does work for you, and if you get more value from another program: cool -- do that one. The best part of AA from my perpsective is that it has helped many people, it is very accessible, and it's free. Those are pretty big pluses.
Personally, I have gotten the most value out of individual therapy, I guess you could say that it was pretty much CBT-ish. Groups help but the individual work helped me a lot, with drinking and other stuff too that probably helped drive the drinking. I was able to cover a lot of ground. That was a path out of hell that worked for me.
It's pretty clear that, like me, its not something that you are going to work out on your own.
I don't want to assume, but if you don't believe in a higher power you might not believe in an afterlife or reincarnation. If that's the case, then this life is all we have. Not really that many years when you think about it. Why not get all that's coming to you, have as many years as you can, and live them as fully as you can.
Might as well.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: London, UK
Posts: 358
Originally Posted by AndrewBeen
Richey,
You are right: there are ways to find help outside of AA. AA is just the most well known. I know not everyone would agree with me on this, but I see AA as a way of people working to help eachother find the resources inside themselves to get well. The way out is to find the strength inside yourself. There are different ways of doing that.
AA certainly has helped many people save their lives. Don't get bogged down in these statistical arguments. There is VALUE in the program. Don't get freaked out by the stuff that doesn't work for you -- try to focus on the stuff that does work for you, and if you get more value from another program: cool -- do that one. The best part of AA from my perpsective is that it has helped many people, it is very accessible, and it's free. Those are pretty big pluses.
Personally, I have gotten the most value out of individual therapy, I guess you could say that it was pretty much CBT-ish. Groups help but the individual work helped me a lot, with drinking and other stuff too that probably helped drive the drinking. I was able to cover a lot of ground. That was a path out of hell that worked for me.
It's pretty clear that, like me, its not something that you are going to work out on your own.
I don't want to assume, but if you don't believe in a higher power you might not believe in an afterlife or reincarnation. If that's the case, then this life is all we have. Not really that many years when you think about it. Why not get all that's coming to you, have as many years as you can, and live them as fully as you can.
Might as well.
You are right: there are ways to find help outside of AA. AA is just the most well known. I know not everyone would agree with me on this, but I see AA as a way of people working to help eachother find the resources inside themselves to get well. The way out is to find the strength inside yourself. There are different ways of doing that.
AA certainly has helped many people save their lives. Don't get bogged down in these statistical arguments. There is VALUE in the program. Don't get freaked out by the stuff that doesn't work for you -- try to focus on the stuff that does work for you, and if you get more value from another program: cool -- do that one. The best part of AA from my perpsective is that it has helped many people, it is very accessible, and it's free. Those are pretty big pluses.
Personally, I have gotten the most value out of individual therapy, I guess you could say that it was pretty much CBT-ish. Groups help but the individual work helped me a lot, with drinking and other stuff too that probably helped drive the drinking. I was able to cover a lot of ground. That was a path out of hell that worked for me.
It's pretty clear that, like me, its not something that you are going to work out on your own.
I don't want to assume, but if you don't believe in a higher power you might not believe in an afterlife or reincarnation. If that's the case, then this life is all we have. Not really that many years when you think about it. Why not get all that's coming to you, have as many years as you can, and live them as fully as you can.
Might as well.
I do think there is value in AA but I know it's not for me...my main problem is I really don'[t like people...I'm not social...I hate listening to other peoples problems and I hate them commenting on mine. Bit weird I'm on this forum then, eh? :/
I just want something straight foreward and almost mechanical...I want this to be treated like any other disease. It's hard to believe alcoholism IS medical when there's so much therapy and revelations...it makes it seem far less serious, at least, to me :/
Been there and done.
Join Date: May 2005
Location: West Coast North America
Posts: 269
Originally Posted by Richey
Yeah, I don't believe in the afterlife...I don't believe in anything other than what is right here in front of me. Sometimes it makes me want to drink...sometimes not. When the world seems great I want to stay sober so I can expierience it in all its glory...but when the world seems bad I just want to hurry up and die...except I'm so terrified of dying that I do the next best thing - drink until I pass out :/
I do think there is value in AA but I know it's not for me...my main problem is I really don'[t like people...I'm not social...I hate listening to other peoples problems and I hate them commenting on mine. Bit weird I'm on this forum then, eh? :/
I just want something straight foreward and almost mechanical...I want this to be treated like any other disease. It's hard to believe alcoholism IS medical when there's so much therapy and revelations...it makes it seem far less serious, at least, to me :/
I do think there is value in AA but I know it's not for me...my main problem is I really don'[t like people...I'm not social...I hate listening to other peoples problems and I hate them commenting on mine. Bit weird I'm on this forum then, eh? :/
I just want something straight foreward and almost mechanical...I want this to be treated like any other disease. It's hard to believe alcoholism IS medical when there's so much therapy and revelations...it makes it seem far less serious, at least, to me :/
Anyway, one commonality of all these different approaches to getting well is some level of group work. If you need to take a different apporach initially, then that might work to help you stop, but doing some level of group exchange is almost always part of the solution. Perhaps SR is enough for you.
I don't want to change the topic of the thread, but addiction seemsmore complex than a physical/mechanical thing. As you said in your note, you respond to bad stuff happening by wanting to die and getting drunk. That's your response to bad stuff happening. That's not a physical thing. To get well you are going to have to work in the psychological/spiritual area. How you do that is up to you. The path out is not going to be as easy as going into a hospital to have a medical doctor mechanically remove your addiction.
What do think, Richey?
body ~ mind ~ spirit
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Geelong, Australia
Posts: 582
Originally Posted by Richey
I do think there is value in AA but I know it's not for me...my main problem is I really don'[t like people...I'm not social...I hate listening to other peoples problems and I hate them commenting on mine. Bit weird I'm on this forum then, eh? :/
I learnt in my health course that you had to love yourself first (don't mean arrogance). To me this means knowing myself, knowing my strengths, my weaknesses and my preferences and being able to accept who I am. When I drank I couldn't accept myself and I didn't like myself and I lied to myself.
Maybe look into the SMART program, it sounds really logical, rather than spiritual. Your life is your choice, not ours, if we could choose for you that would be simple.
At any rate, keep reading, keep posting, it takes time to get sober, or that has been my experience. The journey is worth it, even the rough patches, I have learnt a lot about myself and therefore I have learnt a lot about other people.
You have had some sober time, you mentioned it, how is that going?
love brigid
P.S. I laughed at your bus comment - read Bikewench's take again though, she has hit the nail on the head, I refused to listen to the truth it really offended me. Now if something someone says bothers me I know to think about it some more.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: London
Posts: 53
Richey,
Firstly, I'd like to apologise for mis-spelling your name in my previous post. I hate it when people do that to me.
Secondly, I'd have to agree with Brigid, SMART recovery does sound like a good option for you given how you want to approach recovery and sobriety. Also, I just read their introductory pages of their site and while they do hold face to face meetings, they're mainly in the US so you could do your recovery in online forums and chat. From what I've read concerning all the different forms of recovery, SMART appears to be the most 'scientific'.
I think the reason AA appeals to so many people is the sheer volume of available meetings worldwide, 90,000 per week or so. SMART only has 250 per week worldwide, so the chance of finding one which suits is pretty remote for us in the UK. So if f2f is what people are after, AA seems the only choice unless your lucky where you live.
I have to say I agree with you on the NHS issue. I'd be extremeley surprised if anyone could get into free rehab just like that when people wait six years for operations.
Go read the SMART website, you won't hear anything about higher powers over there.
Good Luck
Lawry.
Firstly, I'd like to apologise for mis-spelling your name in my previous post. I hate it when people do that to me.
Secondly, I'd have to agree with Brigid, SMART recovery does sound like a good option for you given how you want to approach recovery and sobriety. Also, I just read their introductory pages of their site and while they do hold face to face meetings, they're mainly in the US so you could do your recovery in online forums and chat. From what I've read concerning all the different forms of recovery, SMART appears to be the most 'scientific'.
I think the reason AA appeals to so many people is the sheer volume of available meetings worldwide, 90,000 per week or so. SMART only has 250 per week worldwide, so the chance of finding one which suits is pretty remote for us in the UK. So if f2f is what people are after, AA seems the only choice unless your lucky where you live.
I have to say I agree with you on the NHS issue. I'd be extremeley surprised if anyone could get into free rehab just like that when people wait six years for operations.
Go read the SMART website, you won't hear anything about higher powers over there.
Good Luck
Lawry.
Knucklehead
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davenport, WA
Posts: 4,005
Originally Posted by Music
If you don't believe there's anything out there more powerful than you are, you are in trouble.
DK
Knucklehead
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Davenport, WA
Posts: 4,005
Yo Richey!
I hope you're hangin' in there bro. I'm really sorry about your pup. I know how much he meant to you. Please don't give up on yourself and try to be as safe as possible, even if you are drinking.
Paul
I hope you're hangin' in there bro. I'm really sorry about your pup. I know how much he meant to you. Please don't give up on yourself and try to be as safe as possible, even if you are drinking.
Paul
Member
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Zion, Illinois
Posts: 3,411
Originally Posted by doorknob
I believe there are many things out there more powerful than myself. What I don't believe is that there is some theistic "God" that has a purpose for, listens to, and intervenes in the lives of human beings. This is why many non-theists reject AA. AA is a theistic program.DK
theism
One entry found for theism.
Main Entry: the·ism
Pronunciation: 'thE-"i-z&m
Function: noun
: belief in the existence of a god or gods; specifically : belief in the existence of one God viewed as the creative source of man and the world who transcends yet is immanent in the world
The reason the word "God" appears in the AA program is because Bill W. who is said to have written the 12 steps believed in the existance of a Christian God in his own life. True, many people in AA have "chosen" to believe in this same God as being their higher power, however I as an AA member am given the choice to establish my own idea of a Power greater than myself and it doesn't have to conform to anyone else's. As long as it works for me is all that's important. I've sat in meetings where someone gets on the "soapbox" and starts to pontificte as is taken aside or interupted and told his methods of "preaching" are not appropriate. It never ceases to amaze me that the first criticism people seem to have about AA, is that it's somehow a religious program or a program of religion. Most of my AA friends not only don't go to a church but wouldn't step inside a church, seem to be able to come to rely on a Power greater than themselves(not a doornob)and have great success staying happily sober. Those who don't.....don't! I really don't have a problem with anyone who chooses to believe that human beings are the beginning and the end, I just don't happen to agree. If that's the case, we're in some deep sh*t! Furthermore, if there really isn't a God, why do the "few" who are atheists, get so worked up trying to disprove something that doesn't exist in the first place. Seems to me the "few" atheists that there are, have the problem, in that they(few)just can't/won't be tolerant enough to let sleeping dogs lie. If I were scared to death to be honest about who, what, when, where, why, and how I was when I drank, I wouldn't go to AA either.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Lakeside OH.
Posts: 62
Richey
You have to remember you can't change people places and things.You can only change yourself.AA is not about drinking It's about changing your whole way of life.Drinking is just the symptomI am my own problem.The things said are nothing but suggetions.Take from a meeting what can help you and leave the rest.
Bob
You have to remember you can't change people places and things.You can only change yourself.AA is not about drinking It's about changing your whole way of life.Drinking is just the symptomI am my own problem.The things said are nothing but suggetions.Take from a meeting what can help you and leave the rest.
Bob
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: living in recovery
Posts: 75
Richey there is no 'easy' way out. There is no mechanical cure. You have to want to get sober and do the hard yards. It's not going to just happen to you, you have to work for it if you want it.
There are people on this forum who are living sober lives. Now how do you think that happened? They got real and they took all the knocks, they did what they had to do and they did it hard, very damn hard. That's how it happens. It doesn't happen by feeling sorry for yourself and no one can give it to you.
Those of us who are sober know what it's like to really hang out for a drink in the early days because life seems too hard to live without it. We all have to go through that to get sober and so will you if you want sobriety. You can choose either to do it or you can choose the alternative which you don't seem to want. What are you prepared to do?
Using the excuse that you are shy and don't like people won't get you sober. You need to do a heap of things you don't like, it's part of the journey to sobriety.
Make up your mind whether or not you want to keep drinking or get sober.
There are people on this forum who are living sober lives. Now how do you think that happened? They got real and they took all the knocks, they did what they had to do and they did it hard, very damn hard. That's how it happens. It doesn't happen by feeling sorry for yourself and no one can give it to you.
Those of us who are sober know what it's like to really hang out for a drink in the early days because life seems too hard to live without it. We all have to go through that to get sober and so will you if you want sobriety. You can choose either to do it or you can choose the alternative which you don't seem to want. What are you prepared to do?
Using the excuse that you are shy and don't like people won't get you sober. You need to do a heap of things you don't like, it's part of the journey to sobriety.
Make up your mind whether or not you want to keep drinking or get sober.
the girl can't help it
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: splendraville
Posts: 5,599
Well richey you already have a HP and that would be alcohol. Next time you are on your knees in front of the toilet remeber that is you celebrating and worshiping your god. I'll bet you even say a few prayers while you are down there.
Straight shooter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Pontiac, Michigan
Posts: 30
If you are driven within yourself that is the only factor necessary to maintain sobriety. It is definately a good thing to ensure some type of support to keep things on the straight & narrow path but you must start within. Glad to see you here at SR!! It is a good form of support & has worked well for me!!!! Hope it keeps you on course.
Silly cow
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Not here
Posts: 18
So.
"I just want something straight foreward and almost mechanical...I want this to be treated like any other disease. It's hard to believe alcoholism IS medical when there's so much therapy and revelations...it makes it seem far less serious, at least, to me :/ "
Straight forward and mechanical --- er that would be rehab right? They schedule yer everlasting breath - you don't have to think about anything, just move thru the day as a zombie (if that is yer choice). You would hardly even have to be a person! Living breath feeling. It all is such an effort, that I do know. Recovery HURTS. It's not a holiday.
Just my thoughts....as I can relate a lot to what you write.
"I just want something straight foreward and almost mechanical...I want this to be treated like any other disease. It's hard to believe alcoholism IS medical when there's so much therapy and revelations...it makes it seem far less serious, at least, to me :/ "
Straight forward and mechanical --- er that would be rehab right? They schedule yer everlasting breath - you don't have to think about anything, just move thru the day as a zombie (if that is yer choice). You would hardly even have to be a person! Living breath feeling. It all is such an effort, that I do know. Recovery HURTS. It's not a holiday.
Just my thoughts....as I can relate a lot to what you write.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: seattle
Posts: 468
Originally Posted by splendra
Well richey you already have a HP and that would be alcohol. Next time you are on your knees in front of the toilet remeber that is you celebrating and worshiping your god. I'll bet you even say a few prayers while you are down there.
hi richey -
i gota agree with splendra -
you can make not drinking a higher power then drinking...
addiction is addiction, wether you beleive in god or not, but we all had to find a highher power then beeing overpowered by our addiction -
Keep it SIMPLE,
hang in there,
Member
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: California
Posts: 972
Originally Posted by splendra
Well richey you already have a HP and that would be alcohol. Next time you are on your knees in front of the toilet remeber that is you celebrating and worshiping your god. I'll bet you even say a few prayers while you are down there.
That's where I found my higher power.. amazing how humbling the heaves can make a drunk. I remember how easily the words "oh god" just slipped outta my mouth!
"The BAND" workshop ROCKS!
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 1,502
Hey Richey! Good to see ya still hanging in on SR. You just popped into my head this morning so I did the SEARCH thing to look ya up.
Sounds like you're getting pretty straight advice from the folks here. Just keep posting and whatever you do, don't pick up a drink today. You can always drink tomorrow if you have to.
Peace dude.
Sounds like you're getting pretty straight advice from the folks here. Just keep posting and whatever you do, don't pick up a drink today. You can always drink tomorrow if you have to.
Peace dude.
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