Alcoholic
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Klerksdorp, South Africa
Posts: 2
Alcoholic
Hi all!
I'm a 53yo about-to-be-grandfather that drinks too much.
Feel **** in the mornings. 1/2bottle vodka/day. Work for
myself, no time for rehab. Any advice?
I'm a 53yo about-to-be-grandfather that drinks too much.
Feel **** in the mornings. 1/2bottle vodka/day. Work for
myself, no time for rehab. Any advice?
Last edited by Doug; 11-28-2005 at 12:43 PM.
Moderator
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Leaving Sparta
Posts: 2,912
If you have no time for rehab well maybe you can find enough courage within you to stop on your own......others have done it.
I recommend reading The AA Big Book. Some of it is available online. It might give you some valuable insight.
I recommend reading The AA Big Book. Some of it is available online. It might give you some valuable insight.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,432
Check out the Links To AA Alternatives thread at the top of this forum. It lists web sites for several recovery groups. You can get a sense for each one's philosophy and approach, then you can post back here with any questions.
Mostly it's a matter of making a commitment, changing your lifestyle, and planning for how you're going to deal with the things you drank for.
Quitting now would be a nice gift to your grandchild...
Lots of folks here who can help you, so feel free to post again.
Don S
Mostly it's a matter of making a commitment, changing your lifestyle, and planning for how you're going to deal with the things you drank for.
Quitting now would be a nice gift to your grandchild...
Lots of folks here who can help you, so feel free to post again.
Don S
body ~ mind ~ spirit
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Geelong, Australia
Posts: 582
keep reading, keep thinking about why you want to stop and keep reading. Then when you are committed to it plan it out.
When I realised that I had a disease I made time to deal with recovery from the disease, if I found out I had cancer I would have made time. Alcoholism is the same thing, a fatal disease unless you take time to cure it, nothing good happens without effort.
Change habits, get support, look for help, tell people you are quitting, committ to it.
love brigid
When I realised that I had a disease I made time to deal with recovery from the disease, if I found out I had cancer I would have made time. Alcoholism is the same thing, a fatal disease unless you take time to cure it, nothing good happens without effort.
Change habits, get support, look for help, tell people you are quitting, committ to it.
love brigid
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Charlotte,NC
Posts: 167
What is your goal? Is your goal to stop forever, cut back to a few drinks a day, or just dry out for awhile until your grandchild is born? Peter gave good advice. My only advice to you if you want to live a sober life is you have to want to quit. Half a$$ed attempts or attitudes will lead nowhere. If you want to cut back, I can't help you there.
Om, Aum, Ohm...
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Punxsutawney/Pittsburgh
Posts: 4,797
Welcome, Reon. The first step is asking for help - most of us have found that we can't do it alone.
My husband was a lot like you. He was fifty years old, had his own law practice and was raising his two boys alone. He didn't have time for rehab, either. Well, truth be told, he could accept that he was alcoholic, but he decided it was his own d*** business. Then, his drinking scared his kids so much, they called for help - and were removed by the court (same court where he argued cases). The judge "suggested" that rehab and AA meetings might improve his chances of regaining custody of his boys. He wanted the kids back, figured he could do the dance & play the game - never really buying into any of this. He just knew, from his experience, that sometimes, you have to follow the other guy's rules.
His AA meetings were attempted half-heartedly. He went, fairly regularly, for six months. He didn't want to make any friends, he didn't want to hear about a God of his own understanding (he was an athiest), and he sure didn't want to hear about working any steps. And, he didn't. He appeared to (remember - he was playing the game), but he was just faking it with no intention of making it. Then, three months after regaining custody of his sons, six months without a drink, he said to hell with it. He drank. It wasn't good. The dry time didn't make any improvement in his ability to control the amount he drank - or the what happened to him when he drank. And, he realized that maybe these A&Aers had something. He went back to meetings, this time with a healthy dose of honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness, and he's been sober ever since. Got a sponsor, worked the steps, and now enjoys a full and fulfilling life. We got married in June, and the signature line in red at the bottom of my post was printed on our wedding invitations. Life is good, pal - most definitely the fourth dimension compared to the flat, black void where we both have spent the major portion of our lives (I'm a sober drunk, too).
Long story to make a simple suggestion: if you really want to stop drinking that 1/2 bottle of vodka (that was my poison for a lot of years) a day and enjoy your soon-to-be grandbaby, there's a way out. There are alternatives, and whether or not they work, to me, depends on where you are in your head more than where you are in your body. Dr. Carl Jung's opinion was that, alcoholism (or addiction, period) was "the equivalent, on a low level, of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness" and suggested that the formula for overcoming alcoholism was "spiritus contra spiritum" - which I believe translates as spirit overcoming spirit -- the spirit of a Higher Power overcoming the spirit of alcohol.
AA meetings last an hour. They're held in larger areas at all times of the day and evening. It takes awhile to drink half a fifth of vodka - why not decrease your drinking time by an hour and checking out a meeting?
And, please don't be turned off by some of the hardline replies you'll get here. I give those same hardline replies to folks who've been in the rooms, find out there is another way, and still insist that they have control where their - and our - experience bears no such thing. If you're just now coming to the realization of your problem, you don't know yet. Keep reading, go to some meetings, find out - then I'll harp on you if you still want to keep heading down that road.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
My husband was a lot like you. He was fifty years old, had his own law practice and was raising his two boys alone. He didn't have time for rehab, either. Well, truth be told, he could accept that he was alcoholic, but he decided it was his own d*** business. Then, his drinking scared his kids so much, they called for help - and were removed by the court (same court where he argued cases). The judge "suggested" that rehab and AA meetings might improve his chances of regaining custody of his boys. He wanted the kids back, figured he could do the dance & play the game - never really buying into any of this. He just knew, from his experience, that sometimes, you have to follow the other guy's rules.
His AA meetings were attempted half-heartedly. He went, fairly regularly, for six months. He didn't want to make any friends, he didn't want to hear about a God of his own understanding (he was an athiest), and he sure didn't want to hear about working any steps. And, he didn't. He appeared to (remember - he was playing the game), but he was just faking it with no intention of making it. Then, three months after regaining custody of his sons, six months without a drink, he said to hell with it. He drank. It wasn't good. The dry time didn't make any improvement in his ability to control the amount he drank - or the what happened to him when he drank. And, he realized that maybe these A&Aers had something. He went back to meetings, this time with a healthy dose of honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness, and he's been sober ever since. Got a sponsor, worked the steps, and now enjoys a full and fulfilling life. We got married in June, and the signature line in red at the bottom of my post was printed on our wedding invitations. Life is good, pal - most definitely the fourth dimension compared to the flat, black void where we both have spent the major portion of our lives (I'm a sober drunk, too).
Long story to make a simple suggestion: if you really want to stop drinking that 1/2 bottle of vodka (that was my poison for a lot of years) a day and enjoy your soon-to-be grandbaby, there's a way out. There are alternatives, and whether or not they work, to me, depends on where you are in your head more than where you are in your body. Dr. Carl Jung's opinion was that, alcoholism (or addiction, period) was "the equivalent, on a low level, of the spiritual thirst of our being for wholeness" and suggested that the formula for overcoming alcoholism was "spiritus contra spiritum" - which I believe translates as spirit overcoming spirit -- the spirit of a Higher Power overcoming the spirit of alcohol.
AA meetings last an hour. They're held in larger areas at all times of the day and evening. It takes awhile to drink half a fifth of vodka - why not decrease your drinking time by an hour and checking out a meeting?
And, please don't be turned off by some of the hardline replies you'll get here. I give those same hardline replies to folks who've been in the rooms, find out there is another way, and still insist that they have control where their - and our - experience bears no such thing. If you're just now coming to the realization of your problem, you don't know yet. Keep reading, go to some meetings, find out - then I'll harp on you if you still want to keep heading down that road.
Peace & Love,
Sugah
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Toronto
Posts: 98
"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof against all arguments and which cannot fail to keep a man in everlasting ignorance -- that principle is contempt prior to investigation."
HERBERT SPENCER
Check alternatives to AA, there is a sticky of them on this forum.
For those of who don't know, Spencer said this as he argued against religious dogma of his time and fundamentalists (sound like any AA members you know) and in favour of Charles Darwin's theory of evolution.
HERBERT SPENCER
Check alternatives to AA, there is a sticky of them on this forum.
For those of who don't know, Spencer said this as he argued against religious dogma of his time and fundamentalists (sound like any AA members you know) and in favour of Charles Darwin's theory of evolution.
Last edited by Taiman; 11-30-2005 at 08:01 PM. Reason: typo
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
