tkdan

I have come to the conclusion that I have a drinking problem. I have always known that I have an addictive personality. I have been drinking for a little over a year now. Before that I went tree years without a drink. Although my drinking before the three sober years was much heavier than it is now I know it is just a matter of time if I don't put a stop to it. I don't drink during the week most of the time but I'm off every Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. So I usually start up Thursday night and stop Sunday night. When I drink I drink heavy. I have not had any major problems due to my drinking but I do not want wait for something bad to happen before I change. I'm a husband and a father of three and they deserve better. I would not consider myself actively abusive, but I am not there for them the way I should be. I know I need to quit but I have not done it. Everytime I plan to I don't. I'm not sure what the answer is or where to go from here. I probably need to join a support group but I have such a hard time admitting I have a problem. By joining a support group have to admit not only to myself or to people on a forum that I will most likely never meet but to people that I will see face to face. Maybe I have too much pride to admit I can not do it on my on. Maybe I need to lose that pride and replace it with humility. Anyway that is my introduction. I do like what I've read in this forum looks like good group of people I look forward to conversing with you all. Thanks.

Dan

Welcome.

CarolD

see you here at sR! Welcome!

If you like ....please do ask questions...we are here to help you find sobriety.

Blessings to you and your family...

Phinneas

Welcome to SR, tkdan. You will find lots of good information and support here.

Yup, I resisted naming my problem, too, for a looooong time. I honestly and truly thought that if I denied my disease, then it wouldn't be so. Well... it didn't happen that way. It got progressively worse and worse. I fell fast and hard. Somewhere out of the depths of despair I found humility. I had nothing left - no hope, no pride, nothing. That's when I found recovery.

I don't know if you can relate to that or not. I do know that you don't have to lose everything or hit a bottom to get sober and start living a new life. There is hope, there is a solution, and it starts from exactly where you are.

Do you have a plan to get through the weekend not drinking?

Again, welcome. Hope to hear more from you.

--phinny

Peter

Welcome tkdan.

If you do not want to attend an AA meeting and admit you are an alcoholic perhaps you could try gong to open meetings instead.

At open meetings you could just be there to "learn more about alcoholism"

I was very afraid of going at first.

I was afraid people would not understand.
I was afraid they would talk down to me and judge.
I was afraid they would stalk me.
I was afraid someone would recognize me.
I was afraid someone would ask me to speak.

More than anything was just afraid to stop drinking.I had long known of AA and it's no-nonsense approach to recovery and I feared some of those old timers who had found a way to smite the demon.

I was afraid of failing.

If AA cannot help you then I hope this forum will because I would hate to think that because of drinking you could not be there for your kids.

Good luck to you.

tkdan

Thanks for the welcome. Phinny it is not that I've hit bottom but I know that hitting bottom could be in my future because it happened in my past. You asked if I had a plan to get through the weekend not drinking. I suppose that is where I should start. It is not like I have to drink this weekend or any weekend. I do have many projects I could occupy my weekend with and I don't think any of them require alcohol. I also have those three kids that could possibly keep my busy if I let them. Hopefully this weekend can be a start for me I will give it an honest effort. Thanks. dan

tkdan

Peter thanks for the information it is helpful. I do not know anything about AA but I will probably need to learn. It is good to hear others say they had the same fear as I do now. That makes it seem like less of an obstacle when you know others did not let it stop them from changing their life. THanks. dan

Irish Virus

tkdan:

It doesn't sound like your too bad off, just maybe eventually headed down the wrong path. If you are a father of three, you will not be much of a use to them if an emergency happens and you're sloppy a$$ed drunk on the couch. So I understand your concern.

I recommend reading Alcoholics Anonymous (The Big Book) for starters before you even jump into AA. There are great stories and a lot of info in there that you can relate to. Like Peter said, go to an open meeting first. They sell it there along with others. Or, probably you can buy it on line. But definitely read the book and you will probably not be able to put it down.

michski

WELCOME!

brigid

That says it all! I have kids too, I realised that I had no idea what it is like to live without alcohol and its effects and neither did they. So glad I stopped when I did, because otherwise I would have missed some great stuff, as it was I am sorry that I didn't stop sooner. My kids, grandkids, family are a big part of my future, I risked all that and nearly (very nearly) lost it, not because I was a daily drinker, but because I am an alcoholic and there is more to that than just the alcohol. Now I love being a role model to my kids and that is by living what I want for them, not in me saying what they should do and me doing something else.

Make a list of all the things you love about yourself, your wife and your kids, THAT is what you are risking if you don't stop. Remember too that time ticks and waits for no man to make up his mind, children have long memories of childhood. You can stop!

love brigid