hopealwayz

I've been sober for 3 weeks now and I am trying to repair damage done during my last horrible binge which got way out of control. I couldn't keep my word and I always told people that I was going to do something and never followed through. I was not dependable at all. I was usually wasted or hungover and could never get around to doing what I said I was going to.

Now I am trying to face these same people and it is so hard. I feel so embarrased and ashamed and I want to get myself out of this hole.

I even think I may have messed up my chance to get this other apartment because I couldn't even keep my commitment to show up to fill out the application.
..... I never even returned the phone calls. I hope that I didn't blow it because I really want that apartment.

I am trying to forgive myself and stop the madness of guilt, but sometimes it is easier said than done.

I hope all is not lost.

4health

Hi Cheryl. It is hard when we mess up and have to face the facts of reality but we have to. We MUST or we never grow and move forward. You have to keep trudging forward and know that evenutally things WILL work out.

All Hope isn't lost because you're still here and still working at it. If you give up, then all hope is lost. SO...Keep going. Keep working and prove that you're stronger than you were.

Good luck on the apartment. Get in there, do the paper work and be honest. You are human and have made mistake. But you're working on it. Feel good about that Cheryl. Take care of yourself! I wish I had more time to write but I don't. Hopefully you'll get more encouragment from the others here. WE do care about You!!

hopealwayz

It doesn't look like I'll be getting this other apartment. She never got back in touch with me. This is the same thing that I did last month when I got my chance to get the place. I guess it just all comes back. Oh well, I am going to look for something else, and maybe it will be better than the one I tried to get.

hopealwayz

At least I know that I don't have to drink over it.
I just gotta pray and keep the faith. Hitting those meetings and I'm loving it! AA is saving my life!
I'm trying to remember to HOLD ON!

4health

Cheryl, You're growing so much!! I am very proud of you!! Just think, You've got 3 whole weeks!! That is HUGE!! Glad you're hanging in there and that AA is working its wonders for ya!

HUGS To ya!!

Digger

Angel, you are so inspirational, I've had some slips lately, and reading your posts makes me even more determined to crack this addiction, I too am hitting the meetings right now, and for the first time I am finding them enjoyable!! Six months ago I did not think that, that would ever be possible, funny old addiction a'nt it. Keep at itDave

hopealwayz

Hang in there Digger and keep hitting those meetings!
If I can do it, you can to!
Never lose the faith.