23 days
 

I made it through 23 days ...but...the alcohol won once again..

I know I need help.

But I am terrified to go to AA or even let my husband know that I am drinking again..we have been through this too many times.. I dont want to hurt him.

Is there any way of having a online AA session online so he doesnt know about it.

I feel so guilty and alone........I do work fulltime and are not able to go to meetings..

but I would like any information on any sites that have online meetings although I dont have a microphone......


thanks for anybodys help

We have online meetings here. Just go to the chat and online meetings forum and you can see the list of times. All you have to do is type, no microphone is needed. Also, you can read the Big Book online. Maybe someone has a link to that.

Hugs,
Missy

If you had cancer and worked full time, would you still not have time to go to chemo appointments?

Being blunt, here, but being real.

If you truly desire sobriety, you will make it your first priority.

Let go of the secret of relapsing, get honest and get going.

FoB - what does this mean:???

"Let go of the secret of relapsing"

- Phillips

something i found
you have to face your worst fears

GO TO AA
it's never as bad as you think


best
fraankie

Hi Tracy, glad you are here.
We have online meetings here...
Here is a link to the schedule of meetings, and FAQs about chat.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ber-39702.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...aqs-24238.html

Also... a link to the big book online

http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/en_tableofcnt.cfm

You are not alone...
:hug:

Phillips, what FOB is referring to (I think) is where Tracy said she is afraid of letting her husband know she is drinking again.

Kellye

Word. It's not even close to as bad as you think. Perhaps the only thing to really fear is that it will work and you won't have to drink again.

But that's what you want, right?

One Love, One Heart,
Tony

Not only that, but after a very short time, I found that I actually enjoyed meetings, and feel a bit bummed out if I happen to miss one for some reason.

I love hanging out after meetings and just talking and laughing. Look at it this way, these are the exact same types of people we used to party with, only now when we hang out it's in a healthier setting. Still a fun group of people, even without the booze!

Hi Tracy....
 

The only failure is to stop searching for your sobriety.

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Here is what to expect in AA meetings....:)

http://www.bma-wellness.com/papers/...AA_Meeting.html

Keep in touch...we do care. Blessings...

Hey, Carol, for some reason that link doesn't work when you post it. It's a really useful one, packed with AA resources:
http://www.bma-wellness.com/papers/F...A_Meeting.html

Tracy, as KelKel said there are 12 step meetings available through this web site. Online resources are very useful; many people use only online meetings and forums to get support for their sobriety. Don't let your inability to get to face-to-face meetings discourage you. There's a whole community here to talk to.

Personally, I believe that you very much want sobriety. It's just a matter of learning the tools to overcome urges and plan for situations where drinking is likely. So let me suggest that you do something every day to enhance that goal of sobriety: read in books about how others got sober (I really recommend Sober For Good, by Anne M. Fletcher); post on here; keep a journal or blog (it can be private--LiveJournal.com is a popular one); visit the forums and web sites of other recovery groups. And go to online meetings if you can.

Some groups have live 'voice' meetings that use microphones. Others are online 'text' meetings, where people meet in a chat room and type in their comments and replies. SMART Recovery has both types.

If you want to check out some other recovery programs, here are the best-known alternatives to AA:

SMART Recovery
http://www.smartrecovery.org

Women For Sobriety
http://womenforsobriety.org/

LifeRing Secular Recovery
http://www.unhooked.com

SOS - Secular Organisations for Sobriety
http://www.secularsobriety.org

Rational Recovery
http://www.rational.org

Take care, and keep posting.

Don S

hello, i was reading your post and it just took me back to the beginning of my recovery and all the fear and self doubt, and wtf am I doing with my life. Feeling so alone and confused, it was awful for me. The thing was i didnt know my life any other way and in a sick way my life was comfortable. If recovery were easy everyone with a problem would get sober and stay sober. All of us have gone through something similiar to what are you feeling and that is the great thing about this website or for me AA meetings, I go and I hear where others get their faith and why they came and why they stay. I just need to keep an open mind and that sounds so simple but can be so hard. Good luck to you there are some great people out there that are willing to help if you ask for it.
Lauren

Tracy,
For more years than I care to remember I failed to get past midday in my semi-permanent search for sobriety. You did 23 days and that is a tremendous achievment. You have shown you can do this and you need to get straight back on the job and go for it.
Do AA, do on-line meeting, do anything but don't drink.
Best wishes

So, how are you doing today Tracy? Let us know,
Don

She didnt want her husband to know she relapsed. Thats keeping secrets. Secrets lead to shame, shame leads to feeling like crap.

How is works:

Honesty
Open mind
Willingness

H.O.W.

Keeping secrets only keeps us sick.
You never have to drink again if you work on a good recovery.
They say that the only thing we have to change is everything.

There is a better life waiting.......one that does not include alcohol.
You can be a part of that life, just don't give up.

When I packed in smoking five years ago, I found honesty - with myself and others, was very important to my success.

Being honest with those from whom I had hid most was, at times the hardest thing to do, but when it dawned on me that it would help me to be honest, I found telling people what I was going through, and how I had lied, was very liberating.

- Phillips

Honesty is the key that finally opened the door to my recovery. I was lying to myself and everyone I cared about which just kept my disease from ever being arrested. Now, im more honest with other people around me and more importantly, honest with myself. I feel good today, not having to worry about lies i've told and it feels good to be honest, which keeps my recovery in tact.

Tracy there are morning, afternoon and evening meetings in Qld 7 days a week. Many full time workers attend AA. There is nothing to be terrified about, you will be welcomes with open arms.

Good for you for 23 days. When we are drinking we do think that others don't know about it. They know. We try to kid ourselves that we are hiding it.

Why not talk it over with your husband. He may well be very supportive of you going to meetings. All the best to you.

Tracy, are you still out there? I'd love to hear from you and know how you're doing.

You've gotten some wonderful words of wisdom. There is help available and you don't have to do this alone. 23 days was awesome and you can do it again if you try. Don't beat yourself up over it, dust yourself up and get back up. We're here to help you up if you need it.

Meetings saved my life (and continue to save it). They might seem scary at first but not for long. If you go in with an open mind and listen you will find that others have been where you are and are willing to help in any way they can. If you continue to go you will find yourself with a 2nd family that cares deeply. Same can be said for SR.

Anyway, please let us know how you're doing.

Hugs,
Kellye