Phillips

First off, I'm sorry if I'm posting a lot on this forum - given that I'm a newbie and all that, but, to be honest, I have a lot of ideas going on in my head that I wish to explore, so please indulge me.

Anyway, one of the things that has come up in one of the other threads I have posted in is that of boredom, and the role it has played in my growing habit.

I used to have interests, and strictly speaking they are still there, in my past, but have somehow been superceded by laziness and boredom and a desire to stop that boredom by drinking.

For myself, I think that one of the greatest boring things has been the Internet, or rather the ease with which it is to be bored by it - and then the ease it is to 'watch' the www while drinking.

Over the years, it has been very easy to just use the right hand for clicking here and there, and the left one for lifting the can or glass. I found that there there are a handful of genres on the internet that compliment drinking - I won't go into my favourites, but you might guess.

And so it went on that previous interests fell by the way side, and the utter boredom of the internet and the filling of the time with drinking came about.

I'm not saying that the internet is to blame for my problems. I'm just trying to say how I came to be bored and drank more and more, while surfing more more and more rubbish masquerading as something interesting.

'I'm bored - I will drink', became the mantra, rather than, 'I'm bored, I shall go to the library and get a good book out', or, 'I'll go and see my friend in the other village'.

Sorry, I'm rambling my thoughts out here. Hope you don't mind. Maybe there's something there to discuss? I don't know. Doesn't have to be.

I have a few things I'd like to tease out over time.

Phillips

Oh, I want to tell you where I got my username from. I have a pile of unused batteries on my desk - made by Phillips.

Turtle

I also surfed the internet while I was drinking, TV would bore me after a while and I could get interaction with people without anyone seeing me loaded. Besides, I could go to message boards, post whatever I want and noone knew who I was. In fact, another board I go to encourages posting under the influence. I don't go onto the computer as much at night anymore, I have to find other things to keep my busy. Walk the dogs, read, spend time with my hubby whatever takes my mind off of getting drunk.

Phillips

I wonder if there will come a time where I stop sitting here every night.

I associate it with drinking, and while I wouldn't say that I feel that I ought to be drinking because I am sat the computer, I do feel a bit vacant.

Then again, while again not blaming the Internet or The Computer, if they form a part of the problem, I also think that therein may also lie part of the solution - hence boards like this one, that I could possibly not do without right now.

You keep me going!

Phillips

quercusalba

I was *definitely* a boredom-driven drinker. I have neither television nor the internet at home (I'm writing from work), but when I did, I definitely did the drink-and-watch bit, especially with the internet. Like Turtle said, it was possible to interact with people (after a fashion) without those people seeing me pour vodka after vodka down my throat. Bonus points for being able to tune out whenever I felt like it, too, unlike with face to face interactions.

I still have to work at not desiring alcohol when I'm bored - it hasn't been easy. I try to distract myself with other things - study, exercise, going to the library, doing volunteer work, etc. I too shed most of my old interests in favor of drinking... I am presently working on picking the old interests back up and creating new ones.

Welcome aboard, by the way!

--anne

Phinneas

Phillips. Welcome again to SR. I'm glad you're here.

I think you bring out a good point that many of us can relate to. I think drinking and using brings people to a rut. It's easy to get into a pattern, which naturally excludes other life activities. I know I sure did.

When I got into recovery, I had to learn to do life all over again. "Normal" activities had been so dominated by drinking and drugging, that even thinking about doing them sober became a trigger. In early recovery I stayed away from writing, listening to music and going out to dinner because those activities, for me, were habituated with using. The more sober time I had, the more comfortable and secure I became and could go back to these things that I enjoyed.

Early sobriety is a huge adjustment. It was important for me to do new things and learn new behaviors. I went to meetings and hung with people in recovery. I found new things that I enjoy. It's a process and it does take time. They say the only thing you have to change is "everything." Well, this juat may be one of the things that falls under that category, huh?
Hugs,

phinny

jusme

Jeez Phillips, you and I are a lot alike man. I did the same thing at night. I don't have (and don't want to have) TV, so when I was drinking it was usually at my computer surfing, maybe playing some music. And like you said...right hand mouse left hand drink.