Ok
 

Been a heavy drinker for about 10 years now. Like most people battling alcoholism, I have quit drinking more times than I can count. I seem to quit for a week or two, go to a couple meetings, and then boom, back to my old ways.

I am a few days shy of my 37th birthday, and I honestly think I will not see 40 if I keep drinking the way I have been.

But whats driving my decision is not really health related, though I am 20 lbs overweight.
Really, I am just tired of my life revolving around alcohol.
Tired of being hung over until noon.
Tired of spending time alone, drinking, concealing my drinking.
Tired of waking up the next morning figuring out what I did the night before. Tired of taking a 20 minute shower to shake loose the cobwebs
Tired of lying to my parents that I have quit drinking so they won't worry
Tired of looking like I drank a fifth of Vodka the night before, cuz I did.

The last ten years have been a blur. Nothing really accomplished. I mean, its tough to do anything after 8 vodka tonics, except watch TV, or rewatching the same movies. Last night I watched Gladiator for the upteenth time, because its a fun movie sauced. Real productive evening there pal!

So I am going to a meeting tonight. I have been before. I can only imagine when I walk in, people will snicker "He's back". But I don't care. I am the point where I really don't care about much anymore. Alcohol has a a funny way of doing that.

Has anyone ever done the 90 meeting in 90 day thing? I am thinking about doing that. To be sober for 90 days would really be an accomplishment. Hopefully after 90 days being dry, I can see how much better my life has become.

Every time someone comes back to the rooms, it gives hope to another who might just have been ready to go out and do more research.
Let those that snicker do just that.
There isn't really a more powerful reminder of how fragile sobriety can be than seeing an alcoholic coming back in. I've been on both sides of the lesson.
I've sat at the tables totally humbled at seeing my peers come back and ask for help.
And I've been humbled having to do it myself.
No one loses when you come back.
Welcome back.

Hello dfw_txs, Yes, I did 90 in 90 since I was doing virtually 365 in 365 drinking, I asked myself: If I'm not willing to spend that much time going to meetings every day, then really how WILLING am I? It didn't do much good in my case though because I still had to dig a lot deeper into the REAL cause of my drinking.

Hey DFW!
Yeesh. My most frequented airport!

I did the 90 in 90 thing. I also got a sponsor and worked the steps in a quick thorough manner. It has been almost a year.
Go back in and give it another shot. Just get INTO ACTION against the disease....meetings, steps, sponsor, meditation, prayer, recovery related literature....
Peace to you!
Tanya

Don't worry about those who snicker. They've forgotten what it was like and are doomed to repeat. 90 in 90. I can't say that I did exactly 90 in 90 but I came damn close. I say this. If you drank 5 days a week, go to 5 meetings a week and the other two days, call your sponsor and let him know what's on your agenda. I'll promise you this. If you work as hard at getting sober as you did trying to live while drinking, you'll make it.

I went to my present homegroup first 10 years ago. I subsequently went back on different occasions drunk, and/or whacked and finally crippled with incomprehensible demoralization. I'm sure some snickered each time I came crawling but most loved me until I loved myself. Reminds me of that little slogan "What other people think (of me) is none of my business"

Congratulations to come back to the land of the living!

I did more than 90 in 90 as I did two a night some nights and two on weekends sometimes. I have been sober 14 months and I have seen plenty of people go out and come in. I have never actually heard anyone snicker, although that doesn't mean it hasn't happened because hey, you have *ssholes everywhere even in AA. But by the far, the majority are glad to see you back trying again. I know for my group we will move heaven and hell to help someone who is HONESTLY seeking to get sober.

Good luck at your meeting. Walk in with your head held high knowing that you are trying to do something about yourself and there is NO shame in that. You are to be commended, not condemned! The past is the past and today is today. You want this thing, go in and grab it with everything you have and don't let go no matter what!

Hugs,
Kellye

DFW!

Like Music said, don't worry about those who may snicker.

And if you get a chance to share, I'd say what you posted is right on, and tells exactly how you are feeling. I've been there! You can make it... but you have to do the work...

The Big Book says "simple, but not easy -- a price had to be paid.." I believe it's up to us to keep our spiritual connection alive, call our sponsors (pretty much every day for me), get to meetings. BTW, I have done 90 in 90 and gone back out... This time (coming up on a year God willing) I did not do 90 in 90 -- I don't think that's a magic formula. What I did do was keep it simple, do what my sponsor told me, and got to work on the steps. Miracle of miracles, one day at a time, I stayed sober...!

I like to say:
1. Get to AA
2. Get a sponsor
3. Get to work!

Thanks for the post!

Ken

This is true! I came to realize that I there is a big difference between the Fellowship of AA and the Program of AA. The Program is faultless, though often you will encounter people in the Fellowship who don't have your best interests in mind. Take from meetings whatever benifits your sincere desire to remain sober, and leave the rest behind.

Dude, I got so many desire chips that nobody clapped when I got my last one.

thanks for the advice/support. Nice to wake up Sunday morning and not stand by the coffee pot, anxiously for the final drip to begin the three hour hangover recovery program.

I was lying in bed last night, and I just think about how much time I spend around alcohol. Figure from 6pm-11pm, I am drinking. Then I pass out until 7 the next morning. Hung over until around 1 or so. From 7am until 1pm, I am saying to myself, never again, never again. Until the hangover passes, then from 3-6pm, I am clock watching ready to hit the liquor store for a fun night of sitting along getting sauced.

Will keep everyone posted

Hey, how are you doing! Did you get to that meeting? HOpe you did, it's a great way to stay sober and to find a new way of living and make some awesome new friends
Keep us posted!
Cathy31
x

Don't worry just go. At my meeting yesterday, 4 ladies came right back after a relapse, 3 with several years of sobriety, one being in and out and I'm just as happy to see them as I am the first time newcomer. I went as often as I drank, didn't quite make the 90/90 either and have mixed emotions on that but I went as often as I could that's for sure. I did get a sponsor fairly quickly and relied on her guidance and still do.

How are you doing? Heeelllooo:wave:

Starting my day with AA smoothed out my work day.
A 7 a.m. meeting was my 1st home group.

These days I attend 3/4 a week.

Keep in touch...we do care