4health

I've been sober for 24 days as of today. I am getting there!! Now my husband is trying to quit but is still in the early stages where he'll still drink sometimes even when he says he doesn't want to drink.

I went through that for a while until I'd just said this was enough. I don't want to drink so why am I? He hasn't gotten to this stage yet.

My question(s) is this. How can I help him get to his goal sooner? Or should I even help? Should I just stand back and let him do it like I did? I did it on my own and didn't even tell him for 2 weeks into my sobriety.

So far he's been able to make it 2-3 days before he caves and drinks. Any advice out there?

Junkyard Dog

Congrats on 24 days! Stick with it.

The only thing you can really do is support him. But you need to protect your sobriety first and foremost.

He will stop when he is ready. Your formula will not necessarily work on him. The fact that he is even thinking of quitting is a good thing. Support that decision for him, it will help.

Just be sure not to get sucked into his philosophy, obviously you needed to stop cold turkey. Stick to your guns! You know what is best for you.

Best of luck!

michaelj

Speaking from personal experience, nothing anyone else says or does has any impact on someone addicted to alcohol. You reached your turning point, I reached mine and your husband isn't quite there yet.
As junkyard said, first and foremost you must protect your own sobriety. It may be that as your husband sees the effects of sobriety on you he will see that the same benefits could be his.
Best wishes
Michael

CarolD

:congratts on your sober time!

IMO let him alone. We each must decide for ourselves.

He may need more support than your fine example.

Should he ask your advice...
Perhaps AA or church or on line recovery sites?

If you want to keep SR private there are many many other places.
I started with about.com

It's great that he is trying! Hugs to both of you.

Don S

That 72 hour mark is one that a lot of people mention as a real hurdle. I know it was for me. People who quit plan for drinking situations, for places and times that they know are likely to trigger drinking. So you can help him actively plan for that 3 day 'bump' by making some simple lifestyle changes together. If it's evening drinking that's the problem, it's time for some new activities. If it's certain people or places that are the problem, it may be necessary to avoid them for a while.
He might find Sober For Good, by Anne M. Fletcher, useful. It describes the different ways that worked for lots of people who have achieved longterm sobriety.
Thanks for posting!
Don S