Screw it
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 2
"Screw It," or "F-it," these are the two most dangerous phrases an alcoholic can utter either to him/herself or others (though expressed aloud offers some hope, I suppose, for intervention.) It seems the universal pronouncement of an intention to drink again, that we've once again aligned ourselves with our disease and all its false promises.
For myself, having relapsed many times prior to finding what I believe to be my true bottom, when I've reached this point, I've placed myself beyond all help. Closing my eyes, ears and heart to the message of hope, that there is another way, I would invariably drink again to find the same old hell, but worse.
So many relapses, so much peril, so much damage, so much wasted opportunity! Ah, but I no longer harbor much regret. I had to go through what I went through, I needed every relapse I had to finally hit bottom, to finally be open and willing to AA, to attach no conditions to my sobriety, to finally find the true strength of the presence of G-d within me, and finally know freedom.
Funny, I used to be aghast, when I heard some old-timers offer to buy a guy his first drink after a time in AA, yet still unconvinced. I wouldn't go so far, yet I now know that it is a gesture of love. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
For myself, having relapsed many times prior to finding what I believe to be my true bottom, when I've reached this point, I've placed myself beyond all help. Closing my eyes, ears and heart to the message of hope, that there is another way, I would invariably drink again to find the same old hell, but worse.
So many relapses, so much peril, so much damage, so much wasted opportunity! Ah, but I no longer harbor much regret. I had to go through what I went through, I needed every relapse I had to finally hit bottom, to finally be open and willing to AA, to attach no conditions to my sobriety, to finally find the true strength of the presence of G-d within me, and finally know freedom.
Funny, I used to be aghast, when I heard some old-timers offer to buy a guy his first drink after a time in AA, yet still unconvinced. I wouldn't go so far, yet I now know that it is a gesture of love. <?xml:namespace prefix = o ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com:office:office" /><o:p></o:p>
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