Richey?
 

Just wondering how it's going?

I've been thinking about you Richey and wondering how you are too.

Like every other time I've disappeared: relapse.

Kill me.

But..........you're back!!!!!!!!!! I am so glad. So; you ready to try again? I hope so!

I am glad to hear from you; thanks. Sending you a big hug and lots of prayers.......hang in there; this next time could be THE time! Keep doing it until you get it right!

Don't give up Richey. It's not over yet. You can still beat this thing! You just gotta keep trying and keep reaching out. We will not abandon you :)

Richey, don't give up.
Keep the faith.
We are here for you.

Richey, good to see ya bro! :)

Doorknob

Start over Richey. It was a relapse not a death sentence. Come back here and talk it over with us. We care about you.

Dude, just check in here a couple times a day. It will help you to be responsible to someone, even if we can't look over your shoulder.

What was it this time? Play back the tape, what thoughts made you do it? How did it feel when you started this time? How badly did it end? It helped me to remember everything about it so I could relive the horror before I thought about doing it again. Eventually you'll know that you must stop entirely.

Peace bro.

Hey Richey...

It's just plain good to see ya.. ;o)

at the very least... I'm glad your still alive...

praying for you today...

C'mon Richey, tell us what happened. What set it off?

No my friend we are not going to kill you. I just hope you don't either....

I met someone I hadn't seen for 3 years who...I hate and let ruin my life.
Basically, they introduced me to hard drugs...taught me how to be an orifice for hire...and then did something to me that could be considered rape.
I didn't even speak to them, not really, they told me to **** off out of here or else they'd drown me in the lake (I live right next to 3 small lakes) and I gave them the "what the **** I don't even remember who you are!" raised eyebrow...and then ran under the underpass and slashed up my chest with my knife.
I go into a weird almost trance-like state when I'm like that...where I don't consider consequences an just go into 'autopilot'. I went to the co-op (crappy small super market) and got some wine (because they don't sell liquor and this wine was £2!) and I drank it all within half an hour (roughly, i don't wear a watch) and didn't even feel anything so I walked into town and got a litre bottle of vodka and another smaller bottle...then I sat in the multistory carpark (there are only ever like 3 cars there) and just drank.
I got home and couldn't find my keys (turns out they were in a pocket I forgot existed at the time) and started trying to kick in the door and get back in but I couldn't so I went to sleep in the stairwell ...nest thing I know (could've been minutes or hours) the police are waking me up saying they had reports I was trying to break into aflat. I try to explain it's MY flat but they ask for really stupid proof like if i have my passport on me or a recent utiliy bill. Idiots. Of course I didn't so eventually they get someone to look me up on their computers and believe me and let me sleep at the bottom of the stairs. That's about it. Police didn't care I was locked out for the night without a coat or a blanket and I was covered with blood so I took it as a sign to drink more.
In the morning the guy from across the hall let me use his shower (he's a REALLY decent guy, btw, out of all the cunts in my block he's the only one I like) and stay in his place until the council locksmith was meant to come (which they didn't because I found my keys) and eat any of his food I wanted in exchange for taking in his leaflet deilvery while he was out so the kids didn't set fire to them. Which I did because I was so glad someone actually gave a ****.

wow, that's a long post.

Hey Richey,
Glad your back.

So you relapsed.. Time to move past it now. Are you ready to? Are you fetting any help from any groups AA/NA/anyother sobergroups/mental health counsellors? So you
learn to deal with these ghosts from the past that do these things to you??
You take meds for you mental health correct? Like an anti-deppressant or anti-pychotic or mood stabilizer, or something along that line?? If you do, are you taking your meds?? Thats important for me, along with my groups, church, and my therapy, all of that together, if I don't do ALL of them, I don't do as well, because I feel they are almost like pieces of a puzzle, and when I am missing one of the pieces to the puzzle in my life ( meds, groups, church, counselor) I do not do well..
This is just very important to me.
We have to take responsibility for our heath, and that comes really hard for alot of us addicts and alcoholics. Because it means doing things sometimes that we don't like, or are uncomfortable to us. Yet so very important...

I hope you pull it together, pull up your boot straps and jump right back in the sobriety life....... You can do this, you had beed doing this Richey, you have shown yourself.. Now follow through. No excuses.
Love Becky
Long thread huh? ok I take it back now thatI seen it, maybe not so long :)

Great to hear from you Richey...I'm pulling for you; we all are! :)

So; one day at a time; tomorrow is a new day! ;)

Start again Richey. You don't want to live your life this way it brings you nothing but trouble and misery. The worst sober day is always better than the best drunk day.

No one ever said it was easy to get sober. You can do it. You can do it for one day.
Make a new start. Just because you relapsed doesn't mean you must continue that way.
You have a lot of people here thinking of you and wishing you well. Take the power of the positive thoughts we send you and use it.

Richey......haven't heard from you for a few days. How is it going? I miss you; I think we all do!

Sort-of drunk. Not the normal 'just drunk enough to cope' it used to be...but whole bottles of vodka in an hour. I've just wanted to sleep. I sovered up pretty quickly again each time but I'm so tired in my muscles I can't be bothered to do anything but lay in bed all week. I hate no heating and a broken window so I've used that as an excuse to drink and stay in bed...but I've caught a bad cold and chest infection and I'll probably have to see the doctor on monday and I know he'll know I've been drinking...probably even if I don't have another the whole weekend. Somehow people just KNOW.

I got a puppy...CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? I'm drinking again and I get a ******* PUPPY! He's 6 weeks old and I got him off someone i know who knows I drink and has seen my ****** appartment. I don't think he cares about his dogs at all...he was just flogging the puppies to anyone for free because he never bothered to get his spayed.
He's a gorgeous cavalier spaniel and pug cross...I called him Coffee and he responds to his name already...but I know I shouldn't keep him. I already don't spend enough time with him and he hasn't got a bed...just a box with a blanket in it. I'm already growing attached to him, though. It's nice to have someone/something that doesn't hate me or judge me. I'm so ******* lonely. I don't know what to do with him.

Sober up and take care of him.