Ready to Change

To make a long story short:

I've been drinking for less than 2 years. Once I started I became an alcoholic in a matter of days. I've quit a few times (and felt great) but I always go back.

Now I've lost friends. I find myself alone all the time. The only person I spend significant time with is my "on and off" emotionally abusive boyfriend who drinks too much himself. I'm isolated from the world now.

The guilt/shame from the things I've done while drunk are eating me up. But I still reach for that bottle. I think I'm getting an ulcer or something. 2 pints of 100 proof vodka each day will do that.

I quit for 2 months in the spring and felt great. Now here I am again.

Alone

XD40FAN

Its amazing how fast it can all go to hell, isn't it?

I've got about 3 years of heavy drinking that I am leaving behind. I too have done MANY things that I am not proud of while intoxicated. I think its best to just try to forget about them - that may not be the right answer, but its works for me.

You are not alone. I have only been here a very short time but can promise you that these wonderfull people WILL NOT leave you behind if you keep visiting.

Ready to Change

I just hope that when I finally get this right, the people I care about will forgive me.

I hate feeling alone like this.

XD40FAN

If the people that you care about don't forgive you, its their loss. Life is too short to stress over other people's shortcomings.

The only thing that matters at this point is your well doing.

Don W

Hi and welcome, I can identify so much with you. Each time more surprising at the quickness of hitting bottom. Then understanding it is bottomless. You're doing the right thing to come back. I only wish I made the decision after 2 years. I also drank alcoholicly almost from the start. I went in and out for 20 some years and just drank for years before that. Please don't put yourself through that. You've taken the perfect name. There is more to just not drinking. That is the important first step but, a willingness to change and go to any length helps. Stay connected. Even if you drink post. I did and so have others. Welcome, I need you here. Don W

CarolD

understand. When I drank all my friends were drinkers.

I lived in a large simgles apartment house with 24/7 parties and roof top pool. Heck....my lover was a alcoholic too.

I tried to party with out drinking but always picked up again.

My solution....I got involved with AA. I went daily and did several meetings per day on weekends,

I met lots of single sober people to party with!

About the remorse and guilt....when I did the AA Steps 4&5
the past was dealth with. Step work is a pattern for better living.

Please keep trying.... life is so much richer sober.