Sazzer

Well, I made it through my friend's wedding and a week with my family without drinking. I had had every intention of finding meetings while I was away, but I didn't end up going. I am proud of myself for not turning to alcohol, but I'm also trying to find new ways to cope with things.

I had told my friend (the bride) that I had quit drinking a week and a half before the wedding. I suppose I should have asked her not to tell anyone, because she told her whole family -- who are from my home town, a small town. They are not the type to go spreading rumors, so I'm not worried about that. I just feel betrayed by my friend and also really exposed. This was the first time since I quit (three weeks ago on Tuesday, God-willing) that I actually felt shame about it. I know her family means well, but having her aunt that I hadn't met before come up to me out of the blue and tell me she's praying for me about the alcohol "thing" was unnerving. Not to mention the fact that there was SO MUCH ALCOHOL at this wedding and it was the first time I'd really been in that type of situation since I quit. The groom's family were big drinkers --standing in line for the bar with a glass in hand, knowing that it would be gone by the time they got to the front of the line for another. That aspect was actually helpful, because I saw how pathetic it looks. The desperation for another and another drink. Anyway, at the end of the night as I was saying goodnight to her family, her dad pulled me aside and said he hadn't had a chance to dance with me yet. This is a man who barely even talks, let alone dances. He was saying all this stuff about his wife not wanting to dance with him anymore, asking if I had a boyfriend, etc. I tried to extricate myself, but it wasn't happening. The song the band played was the longest song in history. To make it worse, I glanced over at his wife (my friend's mother and my mom's friend) and the look on her face was unsettling. She obviously didn't like what she saw, but then the next time I looked, she was taking a picture. This was the first time something creepy like this happened to me where neither party was drinking. I told my friend (who has been in recovery 13 years) about it, and he said not to get too upset about it. He said that my senses are just really acute. Still, I can't help but feel creeped out about it.

Thanks for listening. I just had to get that off my chest.

Sarah

CarolD

Glad you are back and still sober! Well Done!

jmhs002

Hey Saz
Welcome back. It's funny how your perspective can change when you stop drinking! I also see people just pounding them down (just like I used to) and think how pathetic and sad that is. But it took me many many years to come to that realization.

It sounds like you are doing great and have a nice start! Keep up the good work. Sobriety gets even better!
JMHS

wozzek

Do not worry about that man! People sometimes tend to take responsibility for other's actions but it makes no sense in your case whatsoever. Find some fun in the fact that the creepy older gentleman was having a crush on you. It may be some hidden agenda in this story (he, his wife, family...) but you have nothing to do with it.

You graced him with the dance he asked and none could ask or see more than it was. Do not start obsessing over it - enjoy your sobriety and find some nice opera you haven't heard yet to listen.

j'ade d'arcy

congrats on making it through a tough situation and staying sober!!

michaelj

Sazzer,
You are doing great. You're sober and that is all you need to concentrate on. The old boy's problems are his and his alone. Don't waste another thought on that matter, you did nothing wrong.
Best wishes
Michael

stone

Well done with Everything, ( I am on just about 3 weeks too) you sound very together and maybe a bit sensitive, probably cos your sober and aware. Maybe a a little too sensitive-I agree totally with what Michael says