100

I got high tonight I just couldn't stop myself I hate this I just can't stop right now. I don't want it but it keeps happening I just having a hard time staying stoped. I'm so ashamed I have to tell everyone I messed up again. im meeting with my sponsor tomorrow really ashamed of what happened and I hope my sponsor doesn't fire me. I wasn't going to donit but I did it anyway. it's not worth it it's so not worth it. I hate myself i feel things are spiraling out control. I cant stop myself giving in it's all I ever think about. feeling confused
david
im not doing this anymore i realize it doesn't even feel the good. I don't wantthis.

Dee74

You've been going to tell your sponsor for a while now. I really hope you do David
Its one less secret to keep and one more person in your corner to help you.

Make it public (or more public) and get some help

Did you manage to get to the MA meeting?

D

100

I told him I relapsed just doesn't know about today..

Dee74

Addiction flourishes in the dark.

Shine as much light on this as you can - tell your sponsor the whole story, trusted AA mentors, therapists (I know you've been coming off some meds lately)

talk to any one who might help.

Try an MA meeting.
Start posting in the Marijuana forum here
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...ana-addiction/

you can dig yourself out of this David - but you gotta pick up the shovel yourself man

D