Jack's 1st Post
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: WASHINGTON
Posts: 30
Jack's 1st Post
Hi there, I came to my homegroup in March, shakey, sick, scared and humiliated. I had been drinking myself to death and I was alarmed and ashamed at the same time. My first day of sobriety came and I woke up determined to start another one, like putting one foot in front of the other. I was fast appraoching my fifth month of sobriety and was called upon to travel by my boss. I wasn't worried after all I was clean and sober and very sincere about staying that way. I was alone, thousands of miles from home and feeling lost. I relapsed by the fourth day of the ten day trip. I was crushed, words cannot express my total shock. Once again I was sick shakey, dazed and scared. I thank God for AA the five months of meetings sharing and working through the big book had given me the hope of recovery, the tools to extract myself from the Beer and the desire to get back up and start again. It was the day of the Saturday meeting of my homegroup, I just got back from the airport, I made the long journey, four blocks, to meet with my Home group. I thought of every reason why I didn't need to go. I kept walking and finally there I was in the meeting, everyone was there, I had kinda hoped it was cancelled or something. How'd ya do? How'd it go? rang out, a silence and then I answered with a simple statement, Not good, I relapsed. I cried and hung my head, only to hear, Hey its ok, your here now, Hey I'm just glad to see you BACK! JACK!
Thank God I am back
Thank God I am back
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: WASHINGTON
Posts: 30
Thanks Dangerousdan
It never fails to amaze me when I think about the empathy of my fellow alcoholics. I truly regret relapsing but I am also aware of a fresh new fire in my belly to stay sober and work the program and work on my issues! Thanks Dangerous Dan
1000 Post Club
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Recoveryville, USA
Posts: 1,297
Your post reminds me of the car salesman story in the big book, pg 35 I think. He too went on a business day trip, stopped at a bar, not to drink, just to eat. Had a sandwich and milk. Thought itd be ok to add a lil whiskey to the milk, thinking the milk would dilute it, I guess. That went well, so he had another..and well, you know the rest.
Seems he had some resentments not being tended to that drove him to distorted thinking...cunning, baffling, powerful. Thats the disease. Glad your back to sobriety. Thanks for sharing!
Seems he had some resentments not being tended to that drove him to distorted thinking...cunning, baffling, powerful. Thats the disease. Glad your back to sobriety. Thanks for sharing!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,709
I'm fresh back from the other side too Jack.
Wasn't any better for me out there. Sounds the same for you. So we come back to spark the fire, like you say. And we tell our story; for the one thinking about going back, or the one coming in for the first time.
That's how it works, eh
There's a great bunch of people who come here every day that are glad you're here.
Wasn't any better for me out there. Sounds the same for you. So we come back to spark the fire, like you say. And we tell our story; for the one thinking about going back, or the one coming in for the first time.
That's how it works, eh
There's a great bunch of people who come here every day that are glad you're here.
Hi Jack....
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Washington
Posts: 5,093
Welcome to SR Jack. I know how hard it must have been for you making that long trek back to your Homegroup. I know how it feels to fail in sobriety. I also know how it feels to pick yourself up and to try again. One day at a time we keep going. Each sober day is a gift. When we slip, it reminds us how much we need and cherish sobriety. I'm glad you made it back. You are and will be an inspiration to many others.
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