HenryLG

Hi everyone,

After about 20 yrs. of fairly heavy drinking I've finally decided to do something about it (This post being the first step). I've read a few posts here and it is comforting to know that I'm not alone. I've never been to a meeting but considering going for the first time this week. I'm a little nervous about that. Asking for help has always been a problem for me. Right now is the first time in my life I'm reaching out a bit regarding this problem. Plus I'm going in without the god belief, but I think it's time to put some of that aside and just listen.

Semi-quick background: On average I drink about a 12 pack a day. Sometimes less, sometimes more. Sometimes alot more. I also smoke pot some nights, but I don't consider that a major issue. Should be able to lose that if the beer goes. Booze the main problem. When I have quit in the past it's always made for a few nasty days..anxiety, shakes, insomnia (which is the worst) etc...you guys know the deal. I haven't made a true attempt to stop recently, in part due to the fact that I just don't want to deal with that. I'm almost 42 so I know it's not going to be as easy as it was 10 or 15 yrs. ago.

Last week I was pretty good. Got it down to about 6 in an attempt to taper, only to screw it up on Saturday with a full day of consuming on the golf course. Typical. My wife came home to a pile of dead soldiers and an empty bottle of wine sans a glass. I ran out of brew and there was about a half bottle of white wine in the fridge so I just decided to pour it down. My wife has seen me imbibe for quite a while but the thought of me gulping straight from the bottle really got to her. The look on her face yesterday morning really hurt. So last night I think "I'll only have a couple tonight." Woke up this moring with 5 left out of an 18 pack, also had a couple with dinner. Nice move.

I could go on. Came from a long line of alci's etc.. I've never really had a problem admitting that I'm an alcoholic. The evidence is just too overwhelming.

Anyway, I need to get back to work but thanks for listening. I'm going to attempt a full day of sobriety today for the first time in about 7yrs. If anyone is going through a similar time in their lives don't hesitate to send me a message. I probably wont be sleeping much over the next several days. Will more than likely have some time on my hands. Who knows, maybe I can be of some help.

Thanks everyone. Hope you are having a good day.

wantneeda

Welcome to SR!!!!!
so glad you found your way here.
good for you for reaching out, admitting i am an alkie was my first step, reaching out was the second best thing i ever did and going to AA was the third
It also sounds like you are in the moment. Thats all we've got, just concern yourself with not picking up that first drink TODAY.
i to would say i would only have a couple and the next thing i knew i was bombed and wondering what the heck....
Life is so much better sober
keep coming back, you are the most important person here today.
hugs, Wendy

findingout

Welcome HenryLG

I was in much the same situation as you described 35 months ago. I had never really tried to quit in 25 years. Somehow I have been able to stay sober one day at a time and if I can do it, you can do it. I'll tell you one thing though, I certainly didn't do it all by myself. Keep posting and let us all know how it goes. Oh yeah, and ask questions. And don't pick up, no matter what.

One Love, One Heart,
Tony

it's_me

Henry man, welcome. Dude, I'm only a couple days ahead of you. There is a lot of folks on this train brother. You are the caboose today, maybe the conductor after a while, but you're on the right track this time. Welcome aboard, and ... the other passangers are an awsome group of folks. Check it all out!

Maybe today your wife will give you the look you've wished you could inspire for a long time, mine finally did. Maybe you'll give yourself that look you have waited for, for a long time. You can do it if you want to.

Looking forward to more posts.

CAPTAINZING2000

We, the people that abuse drinking and drugs tend to minimize our usage to a great degree.

See how long you can go w/o a drink. Do youself a favor, stop the pot as well. Why do you think they call it dope!!!

The first step would be to get your butt in a meeting if, you decide you can't stop on your own.

Life's too damn good to muck it up with drugs and drinking

Glad you're here


Chris

michaelj

HenryLG,
Welcome to SR, you have come to the right place for help and support. I hope you grab hold of this chance for sobriety, you and your family deserve better than what you are now experiencing.
I look forward to hearing how you get on.
Good luck
Michael

HenryLG

Thanks you guys. Your posts truly help. And yes, I will have many questions. Hopefully I wont be bothersome. This sobriety thing will be brand spankin' new(If I make it...). I've gone from 21 to 41 fairly well pickled. Evenings loaded, days anxious and sweaty. I'm feeling pretty descent right now considering my intake this weekend. A little shaky and the old gut is a bit raw but not too bad yet. I know it will get worse but to hell with it. Let it come. I deserve it. Hopefully I'll be posting in a few days, tired from no sleep but sober. Think I'll try to choke down one of those boost/ensure type drinks now. Feeling a little old right now.

Yeah, it's_me, that look on my wifes face the other day was pretty tough bro. Sounds like you've seen the same one. I'm glad things have turned around for you. I'm going think of that when I'm tempted to crack one open tonight.

2dayzmuse

Why is it we hurt the ones we love the most while drinking? Bothersome...never. Don't worry about that happening. We are here for you. Turn to those who can truly understand what you are going through if you are tempted to drink. You can get through the tough moments. Stay strong. Drinking isn't worth it. Think of your wife full of pride from the progress you make. Good luck...

ArthurDent

Henry - what they said! Stick around mate.

Cathy31

Henry
It's great to have you here - looking forward to more posts! I can SO relate to you! You've made a fantastic start! I'll pm you tomorrow - keep coming back, you're on the right track!
Love
Cathy31
x

HenryLG

Thanks everyone. It's going to be a long week. Going to try and keep the water and vitamins flowing hard. What is the worst thing about withdrawal to you guys? To me, the worst part is one very specific thing. I can handle the anxiety, shakes, stomach problems...even the insomnia. What I HATE is the the time just before I feel like I'm finally able to get some sleep, then suddenly I sense a burst of electricity slamming into my brain, waking me, out of breath and panicked. Feels like I'm going to die for about 10 seconds. Not sure if any of you have experienced that. Never heard of it happening to anyone else...but I'm sure it has. Think I'm just going to stay awake for a couple days..

NoMoBeer

Hey Henry, Ken here -- alcoholic...
I could have written your post. I was a daily heavy beer drinker, but if the beer ran out, I drank whatever was available. Geez, at least I used a glass --so I must not be that bad... Then again, sometimes the "glass" was one of those giant Baja Fresh drink cups, filled with all sorts of vial crap (whatever was in the liquor cabinet...).

Looks like you have a couple of days under your belt -- nice job. In order to stay that way, I would suggest AA. Orange county has some great meetings, and some great alkies willing to help. I went to a meeting out there last year or so. It was during one of my California binge trips -- I mean "business" trips...

Stay close to SR, and get to AA -- get a sponsor -- get to work. If not, you'll feel great, figure you have this sobriety stuff down, feel that you could have one or two and BAM!!! right back where you started. Those shakes and insomnia won't be fun to go through again, will they?

PM me if you need to anytime....

Ken

jmhs002

Hi Henry
I also drank every day for many years. Mostly beer, but if it was gone, I would drink wine or booze or whatever. I drank for the mood change, not the taste. I finally decided that I had had enough (had known I was an alcoholic for a long time).

I found AA to be extremely helpful. Don't get too caught up in the God stuff right now. The only requirement for AA is a desire to quit drinking. You can do this if you decide it is what you want and you are ready to go to any lengths to get and stay sober.

Stick around!
JMHS

CarolD

I considered that jolt you spoke of as the booze leaving my brain! It stopped when I was 3/4 days into sobriety.

Please check out the top sticky here for tips on detoxong/withdrawal. You may find something helpful.

AA is where I learned how to stay quit and enjoy sober living.

Don W

Welcome to SR Henry, you've found friends. We use each other to stay away from a drink/drug. Welcome. Don W

recoveringaddic

glad you decided you have a problem. that is your first step to recovery to admitting that you are an addict/alcoholic and that live has become unmanageable. just the thought of your wife looking at you in a weird way must have made you think. and that is a good thing. so good for you!!!!!!!
please continue to come on this site we all have been through what you are going through in our own way!!

MNGirlyGirl

Welcome Henry! Glad you're here! The worst part about withdrawl for me was anxiety attacks and insomnia. The anxiety went away pretty quickly, I still stuggle with insomnia. I try to use a lot of relaxation techniques and do some reading in bed. It really helps to get a routine and wind down slowly. Good luck -- it's worth effort!

Fraidy

Hi Henry...welcome!

It will be day 7 for me tomorrow.....I drank every night for the past 6 years or so. I have attempted to quit a few times and felt great about it all, but would put myself in vulnerable situations (Xmas parties, etc) and think "I can have just a couple". I'd fall right back into the routine of drinking daily. I plan to avoid those type of situations for some time this go round.

I can't fall back into the well because I don't want to go through the withdrawal again!!!! The worst part for me has been headaches and vivid nightmares the first 4 days or so, as well as never really hitting REM state. I feel like I really am just surfacing sleeping. I still suffer from insomnia, but even that is getting better everyday. I am enjoying feeling incredibly better in the morning. I always felt like I was a functioning alcoholic, but I think I was just so use to being hungover and was able to cope with taking care of the family and all.

This time is different for me because my husband quit with me, and we've been a great support team for each other. When I have cravings I just tell myself I can make it an hour, and then the craving is gone by then, so I know I can make it the next hour. Funny how certain things will trigger the craving out of NO where!!!!! I avoid phone calls at night, etc., anything that might trigger cravings.

Take care and keep us posted. You are headed in the right direction...good for you!!!!!

Fraidy

icecream pete

Hi Henry, welcome to Sr and the start of a new path for you. Like you I drank for 20+ years and also like you I would start with beer and ultimately finish off anything i could find (cooking sherry was the worst!).

As far as withdrawals are concerned I could cope with most of the physical stuff as I had read about it and knew what to expect, it was the mood swings that seemed to get me. One day in the absence of booze I would be on cloud 9 full of energy, the next totally exhausted and lethargic . But this passes quite quickly and as you treat your body properly you quickly come back into balance. plenty of water, juice, vitamines etc!

Good luck with AA, as has already been said all you need is a desire to quit. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Pete

AndrewBeen

Henry:

Many are on the trail with you. Many right here on SR, in fact.

Like you I have been drinking for too long -- drinking too much for 20 years and WAY too much for probably ten. I am also in my 40s and want to live the second half of my life as fully as I can. This means sobriety for me.

I can't give you a trail map because I am still making my way. I can't even tell you what the next valley looks like, because frankly I am still attacking my first summit. Maybe when it has been a year for me. For now, I am still counting in days.

I can tell you some of the things that I have found helpful, for me at least:
1) Moderation doesn't work. At all.
2) Social events are easier to do with out drinking during the day. My club nights are over. That's definitely ok though.
3) Excersize at least once a day, at least an hour -- try to sweat alot.
4) Water -- lots of it.
5) In the early days I used Valerian and Melatonin for sleep. After a few days just Valerian, after a week nothing. It helps.
6) Tons of Vitamin C, Niacin, and L-Glutamine, etc. Really helps reduce but not eliminate cravings. See http://www.doctoryourself.com/alcoholism.html for more info.
7) I can't assume I can see the boundaries of alcoholism. It's effecs are more widespread than I imagined going into recovery.

I am a newbie: I haven't started AA. I will -- I know there is value there.